Hi, my husband had a major stroke 2 months ago (right side). Following a thrombectomy he had a hemi-craniotomy. He’s 49 and now in a Level 1 rehab unit for probably 6 months. Just been told he’s unlikely to walk or work again and may not be able to live at home.
We have 3 children (13,17 & 19) and I’m feeling so scared and so sad. Reaching out to others who have been through similar for support.
Thank you
Oh my gosh @Lara1 so sorry to hear your situation 
Hello and welcome now you’re here.
There are a lot of people with aspects of their story that will overlap with yours. Extracting the relevant parts will be a lot of reading but you will be able to find it when you know what you want to find and use the magnifying glass above but that’s not today’s priority I think
There’s a lot of stuff that is said repeatedly and some of us gathered it into one place
Reading everything that will be useful to you will be a lot to take in - But it’s likely that you’re here for the long haul so I won’t sign post it all at once
I do think 40 things is amongst the first things to look at
A few things to say is that the medical professionals maybe entirely accurate in their prognosis BUT this community and wider #StrokeThrivers community on the internet is teaming with people who were given similar how it looks and are living a valuable life all be it on a different pathway. There are many instances of never walk again now walking - some (Not many - it takes determination! Doesn’t have to be impossible) even running marathons
Another vital message Is that often the overlooked stroke survivors are the partner / carer and family - taking every ounce of support you can get and every opportunity for respite or just having a rant at the world (something you are welcome to do here) is vitally important - I’ve signed posted some support groups below
Also…
Also Extra help and concessions
And places where you can get help are
SA helpline 0303 3033 100
and Stroke Helpline | Stroke Association
https://differentstrokes.co.uk/
DS focus on working age survivors and they have some info packs for children although judging from the age of yours they may not need DS has prepared
There’s a good Facebook group run by DS and a chatty spin-off Facebook group - I can sign post If and when you are ready 
Https://www.stroke.org.uk/stroke/support/groups/map-local
Https://differentstrokes.co.uk/all-groups/
Caio
Simon
SIG
Hi Lara and welcome to this community. So sorry to hear of your husband’s stroke and the struggles you are facing.
We are a merry band of stroke survivors and their carers and families. We have all suffered different types of stroke and are on very different roads to recovery.
There’s lots of information on here, so I won’t add to the list, just wanted you to know that there’s always someone here to offer advice and information or a shoulder to cry on when things get tough.
Take care of yourself and we look forward to hearing from you as your husband’s road to recovery begins.
Regards Sue
Hi Sue, thank you. Feels good to know I’m not alone. I’m trying so hard to focus on ‘today’ and not letting my mind spiral to life before this happened and all the potential negatives ahead. It’s a real focussed effort. Glad I’ve found you all x
Thank you Simon. That is so helpful. Already feeling better to have made the connection. I will spend next few days reading through all the stories, guidance and info. 
Glad your feeling there have been others ahead of you who have understanding & empathy & a hopefully story to share that may guide and at least shares the burden
Keep sharing and things will occur to folk to say, help will be timely & not overwhelming and you’ll explore thoughts that need to raised with the med teams as well as build a record of progress (of course you may prefer to do a lot of that in a journal elsewhere instead)
Early days - I’m 4yrs and everyday is still part of the journey
Caio
Simon
SIG
Lara1 keep updating us on your husbands progress , I’m sure in time he’ll be posting here. Some folk can get back to work and back to driving. Keep posotive.
Lara just wanted to add my welcome. I had a stroke last january and have fortunately made loads of improvement. I cant comment on your hubbys prognosis but from personal experience i cant say the love support encouragement and care from my family helped me. And remember to be kind to yourself, you are needed more than ever but you wont be much use if you dont take care of yourself. This group of people really helped me
Anne
@Lara1 Hi & welcome to the community. So sorry to read of your husbands stroke & the situation you find yourselves in. It’s a lot for you to take in right now.
It’s probably too early to say how your husband will get on but some people do defy the odds and nake unexpected progress but only time will tell if that will be the case for your husband. Hopefully the rehab he is getting will help him regain some of what he has lost.
It’s really important that you look after yourself too. It will take its toll but with strength & support you’ll find a way through.
Best wishes to you all.
Ann xx
Thank you Ann, your message means a lot. I am holding on to that hope. Realise how important it is not to spiral down worst case scenario paths. Glad I’ve joined this forum x
Keep talking on here when you need to. I know it helped me theough those early days when the light at the end of the tunnel was non existent. There’s usually someone around who can offer advice & support.
Wishing you both all the best.
Ann
It makes me so cross when professional make these type if comments. It’s far too soon to say the things you’ve been told. Recovery is possible. It takes a long time and a lot of hard work. Please don’t despair.
It’s good to hear that, feels like I’ve been metaphorically punched in the stomach by every doctor I’ve spoken to since 13th Sept 
Latest punch was being told that they would not resuscitate him if he had another stroke/cardiac arrest because of further brain damage.
Jeez, give me a break……
On a lighter note he wrote ‘I love you’ on a whiteboard yesterday 
You can’t get better than that
That’s so good to hear (read)
Pam is right. Seems med-profs have all been programmed to be pessimistic. I couldn’t get a single useful statement of outlook out of any of mine and I’ve outperformed their few predictions by tenfold.
Do we take from the use of a whiteboard that is currently nonverbal? If so have you come across Google Look to speak ?
(There are lots of apps that may be useful)
Caio
Simon
SIG
He is managing a few words - all making sense - but has indicated that it’s difficult so seems to prefer whiteboard. Speech therapist encouraging speech though.
Again, thank you. You’ve all boosted my mood so much.
Thats very terrible for all Lara, i can’t imagine how difficult this is for you all. Take care.
Jeff
So glad to hear you’ve outperformed expectations @SimonInEdinburgh 
thnx
still some way to go but i worked out early the med profs have lots of knowledge, less information and normally 0 wisdom.
If you listen with the understanding of your own holistic needs then directing a path is possible; if you wait for the ‘profs’ to be more than animate text books you wait forever (there are a few - they’re as common as Rocking Horse ‘fertiliser’)
How are you ATM?
How is hubband ?
on a daily basis there will ups & downs - less so month to month & even more consistency yr to yr. It will be up with effort & down without or with negative efforts_ & that’s unavoidable sometimes - cant be positive all the time
have a good week
Good day today. Been signed off work for 3 weeks to get some space, get a bit organised and help me feel a bit more in control.
Our financial security is concerning me so keen to understand what that will look like if Gary can’t work again.
Also just been prescribed Sertraline. First time and keen to take whatever help I can to keep me functioning for Gary and children - and me 
Gary seemed really low yesterday. He’s also been prescribed Sertraline and getting into his chair today so hoping both will lift his mood and motivation.
Appreciate your observation of medical profs! I wish they’d employ the ‘fertiliser’ sandwich process used in the working world. Cushioning the difficult news with a bit of hope, positive news on each end is more powerful than they seem to realise….