It might also help spur your husband on if you could share a few of the stories and inspirations you find on here, to give him hope. He’s locked away inside his head, communication is nigh on impossible for him and he must have so many unanswered questions, I know I did. He might get a few answers to those through you 
Lorraine
SIG
Great idea Lorraine, thank you x
Thank you @SimonInEdinburgh 
Dear all, still working out how this forum works so hope I’m posting this in the right thread…
Just wanted to update you on Gary’s progress. He is still being fed via a PEG but has started to eat solid food.
He is also talking!! We are is such a better place than we were even a month ago. He’s even asked my daughter to buy me a Xmas present 
Still no movement on LHS and eyesight issues but wanted to share some positive news just over 3 months post major stroke.
I also gather that Simon from Edinburgh is no longer on here. He was so kind and helpful and I do hope he returns!!!
Claire (not Lara )
Hi Claire,
That’s great news. Thanks for sharing Gary’s progress. 3 months is very early in recovery terms & hopefully you’ll see much more progress over the next 3 too.
Hope you like your Christmas present. I bet this one will be extra special.
Best wishes
Ann
Hi Claire
Thank you for your kind words.
Simon won’t be back as the SA deleted his account🤷♀️
He has set up an independent group which can be found here https://bit.ly/StrokeCommunity
Hope you have a good Christmas 
Kind regards
Lea
Hi Claire @Lara1
I am just catching up on your story and have read all the responses you’ve had. It seems the members have helped you and Gary as you come to terms with the situation you find yourselves in.
I specifically wanted to comment on your above note to say that in our experience, when it comes to Stroke survivors, Doctors tend not to be too “optimistic”. We too keep getting asked if we’ve signed a DNR (Do not resuscitate) form for my Mother and we keep saying “No”. They then say the line about further brain damage and condition even worse etc. So from our point of view, we have always said that they should attempt to resuscitate.
This happens each time we visit the hospital!
So we now just take it with a pinch of salt.
Having said that, each patient is different and we all have our own wishes on the quality of life we would like to live etc. I have spoken with people who have said their relative expressed a wish not to be helped after a stroke as they did not wish to live the sort of life they thought they would live.
As time as gone on (it is nor nearly six years since the stroke), we now think, perhaps it may not be a good idea to resuscitate Mum if she were to have another stroke as she is older and possibly more fragile. It was explained to us that the process of resuscitation can be harsh and rib cage may break (not sure of this is true) due to Mum’s age (mid- 90s) I have also been told that Doctors can ultimately override the patient’s wish IF they believe it’s in the patient’s best interest. I hope we never have to see this scenario.
For Gary, I am surprised they are saying this to you as he is a lot younger than my Mum, but the doctors will be basing their comment on the severity of the stroke and the overall health condtion your husband is in - again, I stress we are all different and it is not a one cap fits all situation.
Finally, I would like to add, one doctor has REFUSED to operate on Mum to replace her PEG tube citing it is too risky and he would not have a “death on his hands”. Btw, its should be stated here that in our opinion, they (he/his team) have been negligent in allowing this situaiton to arise). But this is a whole other scenario which I have already written about on this forum.
We therefore are doing all we can to look after Mum as best as we can so that
a) She does not have another stroke
b) Has no cause to end up in hospital
It is quite a challenge, I can tell you.
Wishing you, Gary and your children all the best.
Namaste:
hi. laura. that is so sweet. my husband had the same so I feel dr can be so heartless and just feel they cannot help at all. you keep encouraging him and dont believe everything they say fight the system fight harder for more stroke support , i did i went to lewisham council and i gave a good fight .saddly my husband and he passed but he also managed to speak his words was that he loved me. i was so happy and he was happy at home i fought to get him home and i got him the best care in our home surrounded by love. you must take care of you and do self care and that will help you and keep being strong and we all here for you .dont always listen to the dr do some research go to stroke groups they are good for support and you will meet people who are recovering and get advice from them.
Hello all, I wanted to give you an update on Gary’s progress.
Well, let me start by saying he celebrated his 50th birthday with a pint in a pub last week surrounded by family and friends 
He is still in a rehabilitation unit but has moved from a Level 1 to a lower intensity place.
He has, very slowly, managed to cross his ‘immobile’ left leg over his right leg!!
I’m now starting to think about home adaptations and am nervous about our new lives… whilst still being so grateful about how far he’s come!
‘Big’ Car test drives booked for next week and I’ve started to overcome my motorway phobia by visiting Gaz regularly!
I’ll be eternally grateful for all your kind words and support in the early days and will be keeping in touch as we move into the next phase of this journey!!
Claire xxx
Hi Claire @Lara1 great to hear of the progress Gary is making. And a belated happy 50th to him too. I bet he enjoyed his pint 
You will be nervous about him coming home but when the time comes you’ll work out a routine that works for you.
Well donecon cracking the motorway phobia too.
Look forward to hearing about more progress soon.
Best wishes
Ann
Thanks Ann, I am taking things one week at a time. I’ve kept a diary since the stroke happened and it’s really helped me to see progress. No point in thinking 6 months ahead - no one knows what that’s going to look like so I’ll preserve my mental energy for the here and now 
That’s the best way. Deal with the here & now. The future will take care of itself. I kept a diary too & it really does help you see progress as often you can’t see it yourself especially when they’re having a bad day.
Best wishes
Ann
Hi his journey is exactly the same as mine I was thrombectomy to craniotomy to give you hope this is me now
I can walk 10k steps a day I work
The journey is tough.
Best of luck kevin
Thanks Kevin, just spent ages scrolling through your videos. Gives me huge hope. Thank you and massive well done!! I’ll drop you an email. Can’t see past next month so hearing/seeing your progress is wonderful. Gary has been told he’s unlikely to return to work but I realise no one really knows.
Claire