hello, i was wondering if anyone else struggles with role reversal where adult kids are now your care givers.i am really struggling with this. my son bless him brushed my hair and put my hair into my usual ponytail. i did not like the feeling it left. bless him he was so proud he said there you artew mam, were not used to seeing you so bestraggled. i am of course eternally grateful but i also want the roles to go back to mother and kids not patient and carers
No such luck for me, my eldest son is hard to pin down at the best of times. I have a load of jobs I need him to help me with and can’t do them on me Tod ![]()
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@touch, I helped care for my dad and still do to this very day over 20 years later and almost 2 years after my own stroke. Dad can be hard work as after his stroke he was bitter and couldn’t understand but by in large myself and 2 brothers and 3 sister all help in our own unique ways. Older sister is the brains and has a calmer nature, I’m the big mouthed hothead but know stuff as a professional carer, sister 2 a nurse so sometimes agitates doctors and health professionals when needed, brother 2 worked in the NHS too- coll calm and collected but has/ had contacts and knows what to say and do. Sister 3 a senior civil servant talks like one and generally helps by boring people into submission for us/ him. Finally baby brother he just sits back and watches the chaos and laughs. Individually all had our moments of doubt but as we’re family don’t get a choice but to turn up and do.
Funnily enough post stroke was in hospital and one of the senior porters knows the family all of us since birth really. I’m waiting on the trolley to go for a MRI, he comes along ) were in Glasgow so Taggart subtitles rule for civilise people apply) “whit you daen there ya clown, wher’d ye pit yer da ne get oot that bed noo”. Told me I was too young and fit too. But two days later was helping a trainee HCA do shaving on the ward really funny as only had one hand to do it at the time.
Looking after dad has been an achievement for us all, baby sister civil servant friend said one day your dad is so well dressed and cared for -he has a strong woman my mum to thank for that, between them they done a not bad job. But I aint telling them that.
@jbob sounds like you all found your rythem nicely as for taggart i live on the border so scottish i am very used to
Thanks @touch , getting thrown out of bed almost made me laugh in all the confusion.
This does take some getting used to but just remember this is likely only a short term thing as as your recovery continues you will start to do these things for yourself again.
I had to care for my dad for a long time and I am sure he would have preferred us not to but we were very happy to do so and never gave it a 2nd thought,
Enjoy being pampered for a change. I am sure you’ve done enough for them over the years. As we get older the roles do tend to get reversed anyway.