Are we right as stroke survivor or carer to be selfish?
As a follow-on question
Is it right for me as a stroke survivor to expect my carer to understand how I feel, given they haven’t actually had a stroke themselves. I mean, if I hadn’t had the stroke, would I not be saying what they say? Am I privileged as a stroke survivor because I know/understand what being a stroke survivor is?
This is just to get both carers and stroke survivors to think from the other persons point of view.
Again, at this stage, I will not add (unless I already inadvertently did) my thoughts on the subject.
I hold the view that none of us truly know what others are feeling as we aren’t them. Even if we experience the same thing we all react / behave / feel differently so whilst we may have a level of understanding if will never be complete.
I don’t believe, but my hubby may think differently, that I have ever expected him to understand how I feel. More for him to be understanding when things don’t go smoothly or I just can’t do it today.
I would say it applies in any situation not just for stroke.
And just to make you chuckle I have just spent 30 seconds trying to remove a mark from my phone screen which was actually the tail of a letter g which had been scrolled up the page
Many years ago I completed a life saving course at a local swimming pool.
I found it rather shocking being introduced to ideas and techniques unfamiliar to me.
I think much of it is relevant in situations where there is risk to welfare and life.
I’ll try to list and explain what is involved.
When you aware someone is in a situation that threatens life or welfare:
As rescuer, do not access that area, until you are certain it is safe to do so. Your primary concern has to be for your own welfare, no heroics.
A rescuer in difficulties is a liability and therefore a danger.
Retreat to a safe area until it is possible to rescue safely.
This maximises the prospect of a good outcome.
There is more but the principles outlined above are relevant for many circumstances.
A course in life saving will go into more detail.
Accepting the role of rescuer makes one responsible for the outcome.
In some countries the law makes it necessary to temper one’s judgements.
Best wishes in your particular circumstances @ManjiB .
Please make your first priority that of taking care of yourself.
Being selfish if you like.
I hope you are always able to navigate to an optimum course.
My partner and carer is born deaf and we spend quite a lot of time in silence. When it gets too much we have a chat. I sometimes have to write notes. The conversation turns to how we understand each others complaints him being born deaf and me having bipolar affective disorder, a rare pituitary problem and being a stroke survivor.
We both know we can never know what our conditions are actually like but sometimes it helps to share notes. We both know we can never completely understand each other but we have a try. We know we are both selfish at the end of the day. Have I understood you properley?
It depends on the definition of selfish. There is nothing wrong in wanting in what is right, both for yourself and/or for carers. The problem is finding the middle ground. Find an agreeable viewpoint to build on. Personally, that should be a starting point for any issue. Just a thought.
