Hi everyone,
I had a ishemic stroke in 2024 and it has affected my slow response, speech of aphasia and apraxia. over the years I am doing a lot letter and more confident but I find it hard to get into a relationship. I started using hinge and as I speak about my situation it puts the intention into back burners. would want someone to listen and understand but there are no opportunities. Does any have recommendations like an app or an events.
Hi.
If they’re not willing to speak to you because you have issues after a stroke, they aren’t worth being with.
Hinge etc is terrible for dating for anyone so don’t let it bother you. I’d say forget apps for a while.
You should be able to find events in your local area (use EventBrite) or clubs of hobbies you are interested in etc.
What I tend to do, not in a dating context but it may be effective in that way, is tell some people I had a brain injury. For some reason, the word stroke prompts people to review their own fragility and it seems to have a stigma of some kind, however, brain injury is a broader disability that affects boxers, football players, dare devils, &c. You can always reveal that the brain injury was from stroke down the line once you both have had a chance to get to know each other.
'Ello Austin - Yes, I have a recommendation. As well as this forum where you can engage with people in writing/messaging, there are chat groups and meetings organised. You contact the Stroke Association for more info.
There in absolutely Bangin’ clup that has recently started and has taken off big time. I believe there are opportunities to speak and be listened to. You should absolutely give it a go.
It will be a massive eye opener for you.
Best wishes.
Can I suggest that you don’t run straight into trying to run into find a friend, a partner, someone to shack up with, either any or all of this.
Begin simply by meeting up with others in a sociable way, no strings, no commitments. Human beings are sociable creatures and simply being recognised gives one a valuable sense of worth.
Get involved in activities with others. Your disability might reduce the choices but there are always ways to get together and share an experience.
As you begin interacting with others you will find differences, some will not like you, maybe you won’t like them, but none of this matters. As you will find a circle who eventually could become friends with whom it is a pleasure to share interests.
It will take some time, but it can be enjoyable if you let it. It will also beat, hands down, any instant artificial interaction from an agency.
I hope you find friends, even a prospective partner, but if any of it is to last it will take time to build.
Best wishes. I am sure there is a life out there for you.
keep on keepin on
(Remember also you have friends, here in this community, who care and are always pleased to hear your news.)
@Austin.nd If you are trying to meet someone, why do you put your condition in the forefront. As I stroke survivor, I never speak about my stroke to anyone apart from o here of the OMG WhatsApp group, which is also stroke survivor’s and carers. Meeting strangers, unless they are someone who understands, they want to get to know you not take on your issues, call Samaritans if you want someone to listen, or vent on here.
I did Samaritans for 5 years and that was my job to listen, but if I as looking to meet someone i do not want to know their issues at the beginning, it would then look like you are looking for a carer or a nurse. Apologies for my frankness but sometimes it has to be said. I want to met you, not mother you. I don’t do sympathy, I do empathy. Best of luck 
Don’t put on your profile that you have suffered a stroke as You will attract that wrong kind of person. You will meet someone in the most unusual circumstances when you least expect it. Start with coffee and build from there. And remember what you have achieved, don’t dwell on what you still want to achieve.
Hi @ManjiB thank you for the recommendation. I will look into this.
@matt_d13 Thanks again I will defo also look into this.
@Rups Thanks again for your response. this is 2 years after the stroke I am 35 “a young stroker survivor”. I will try not to focus on what happened, I will try to get better. A lovely member EmeraldEyes told me that “recovery is a marathon not a race”. it stuck with me so I will not this situation by the result of what occurs. like you said people with lack knowledge think of the worst so I don’t think its a good for me atm.
@Bobbi that is a good idea as well, over the journey I have gained some confidence and self esteem so going in a group is another step forward for me, thank you.
@IreneFC Thank you for your feedback “I don’t do sympathy, I do empathy” is my mindset over the journey. I don’t put in my profiles, not straight away but as the conversation starts. Problems I have in slow motor process of understanding and aphasia response had to an explanation. I am an average IQ individual and a critical mindset but it handicaps my responses which is extremely frustrating but it is step by step.
@Austin.nd I wish you well for your future and take it nice and slow.
I had a stroke at 44, so had that experience of feeling like a lame duck in my relationship, it was difficult at first because all our peers were around the same age, still are 
, I’m 49 now and as my hair now has a good drenching of whiteness, my post stroke symptoms seem to fit how I look and people who discover I’ve had a stroke are less surprised. However, at 44 my hair was still black and I didn’t need glasses, so being around healthy and vigorous peers made this lame duck feeling difficult in my relationship at first.
Some people can be quite vacuous and facile, others just lacking in experience or understanding. I haven’t had experience of online dating apps but have friends who have used them and the amount of profiles I have been shown that desired travelling, sports, concert going and other activities I can’t easily do nowadays would put me off a bit.