Please does life get better and ever feel normal? Feel like me and my husband are existing ting not living ! It's hard for him he should have more time to himself onsteaf of caring for instead of being stuck looking after me !

Yes life does get better. Normal? Not sure. But what is normal..... Things are different for me/us. We're happy though and that's the main thing. My stroke was five and a half years ago so we've been through a lot and come a long way. I'm sure you and your husband will work out how he can have some time to himself and do some things together. Problem solving! That's what its all about.


pamela x

I feel jus like you I keep telling my husband to go out and enjoy himself but he wont go without me and it causes a lot of upsets but I think I am doing more than I was and am slowly improving. My stroke was nearly four years ago and I know some things do get better you just have to be patient. I hope things will get better for you. Best wishes Norma.

Thanks Norma managed to get him to go on his bike today and my son stayed with me 

Thats an important step forward. I made my wife get away from me most days. Just an hour would do. You will learn to be independent. You will start to get your brain working and you and hubby are less likely to get grumpy with each other. 

Hi, I'm  4 years  post stroke, and like you my husband looks after me. I do try and  encourage  him to  go out more but he worries  so much. My stroke  resulted in left sided paralysis  and I need help to wash, dress and I am unable to  be alone  for long periods. I am lucky to have  an amazing  family but I I feel so guilty  that my husband  has given up everything  to be by my side since this nightmare  began in 2017.

Hopefully  things will improve  for you and enable  your husband to get some time  to his self soon. 




My husband thinks he can do everything. He will not have any help and that worries me I try to do more but am limited what I can do. It is  so frustrating. Sorry bout moaning but I feel so alone. N orma.

My wife doesn't help unless I ask for it. She'll get me treats or things I need without me asking but she encourages me to do things for myself. Sometimes I wish she was more doting but she's a very practical woman and believes I need to push myself to be independent. She is caring but in a pragmatic way. Perhaps if you ask your husband to let you have tasks that you want to achieve on your own like making lunch, gardening or going for a short walk, you can schedule a routine to build independent confidence for you both. 

Hi Sue , I feel same for my loving wife . Similar age to you, cerebellar stroke,  2 years on , NO ,real improvement, over your 4 years do you feel improvement ?

Have set up cordless doorbell system,  bell pushes on my belt , bed & near shower, in case of help. Actually works surprisingly well ! & mainly reduces my anxiety. Very lucky to be in a bungalow,  could not manage stairs. 

Lovely sunny day here,  unfortunately when had stroke,  thought it was sun stroke ! Ever since my brain goes into panic mode. Therefore in bed , darkened bedroom,  with fan on. Not how I used to be . Good talking David. 


Hi David, I have definitely  improved  since  discharge  in June  2017 but unfortunately  I can't  say I've  seen much improvement  in the past couple of years.  We recently  moved  into  a bungalow  which has helped. I wear  a Life Line  alarm  when I'm  at home on my own. We  have adapted  our bathroom  with a walk in shower and a shower  seat but unfortunately  I still need help as I can't  use my left arm  at all, despite daily exercise. 

I just wish I could stop the feeling  so guilty, my husband tells me all the time that he is so glad that I'm  alive but I do feel  everyone  would have been  better  off if I hadn't  survived. At least they would have been  able  to get on with their  lives, without the hassle  that I cause. 

I know things could  have been  much worse  but I can't  bring myself  to be happy about how I am. Sorry  for the  rant.

Regards  Sue 




Hi Sue , interested to know how these work . If in house on my own , ok in shower ? 

Try best not to get down . I also find this hard,  particularly when people have cheery little sayings, that possibly meant to make you feel better, but don't. Good talking David. 

Hi David,

I use a lifeline alarm from  I wear a pendant which is linked to an alarm base unit. Once set up, you just press the pendant  if you need help. It also has a fall detector and would go off automatically, should you fall.  It is also waterproof.

Fortunately  I haven't  had to use it but it gives both my husband and I peace of mind if I'm on my own at any point.

I had quite a bad fall 2 years ago, luckily I didn't  do any damage and my husband was at home at the  time but it frightened  both of us and promoted  us to  get an alarm. 

Hope that's  helpful, 

Regards Sue 

Hi,don't be sad,your husband wouldn't be there if he didn't want to be,you need each other,maybe you could do a test where he goes out for an hour or so to see how you cope then you could build it up maybe?my partner wouldn't leave me at 1st but I felt suffocated at times so now we compromise and have a break now and you will learn what you can and can't do so you can work to get better at that.good does get better eventually,I'm 15 months post stroke and still learning and moving forward one step at a time,good days and bad.all the best.

Thank yoayouNow more independent?

Thank you are you more independent?

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply,yes i am more independent,it's scary at 1st if you venture out on your own or are left alone at home but always keep your mobile phone with you if you have one,then you know you can reach help if you need it,et yourself one challenge a day on your own maybe walk down the garden +back or put washing out or bit of ironing ,anything that requires you to do abit more, then if it's successful build up from there to do 2 extra etc..Ialways wear a badge I bought from stroke association that let's people know I've had a stroke so might be a bit slow,when I slowly haha walk to local shop,at 1st I panicked being on my own but then though what's the worse that can happen?someone might speak to me or look at me strangely but having a stroke was the worst thing so now I'm proud I can get out.always tell someone or leave a note if you do go out at 1st,I learnt the hard way I went a bit further afield on one walk +couldn't remember my way back,so I always tell someone, even if it's just a neighbour on passing.sorry for rambling but I want to pass on what I've learnt if it helps.take care and keep on going?

Thank you for top tips 

Hope you are in abit better situation now it does take time to learn to  live with the new you.  That's the hardest part for me to cope with while my stroke was mild it has changed me and I have to live with the new me sometime this is hard but over time we do adapt hope thing are a bit better des x

Hi Jane honestly love he won't help if he didn't love you so much

I look after my husband bless him he feels a burden sometimes. He gets so low even asked us to put him back into a home cause this is no life. But I choose to look after him we do have carers in 3 times a day this is because I'm due back at work.

I did make a mistake first by refusing to leave him but in the end after both my boys and hubby telling me to get out of the house I now go for a little walk or coffee with friends

I truly believe things can only get better I now take my hubby swimming cause I am determined to get him to walk or move from bed to chair

My heart goes out to you stay positive hun