Hi so sorry for this long post. My partner aged 60 had a stroke while at work 2 months ago, we did not know which way it was going to go he was so ill. He was in hospital for 2 weeks then in rehab for 4 weeks. He was just sleeping well trying it’s not always easy in hospitals. He lost function on his left side. He started physio 3 days after the stroke, within the 2 weeks in hospital he started to walk slowly with a frame on the ward and the same in rehab, his speech wasn’t affected. In the last 2 months since it happened he can walk so far unaided, dress himself, shower himself, feed himself, shave himself. I cannot believe how far he has come in 2 months and i am so proud off him and the progress he had made. He says he can feel things but he is not sure if the feeling is slowly coming back or if his brain is tricking him to thinking he is when hes touching things if that makes any sense as he says he still feels numb. We don’t live together he lives with his parents. While he has in hospital and rehab i was needed and doing things for him, then when he went home his parents and carers did everything for him and i wasn’t need anymore which was hard especially from seeing him everyday to nothing when he returned home and it hurt so much. I went to see him yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks and wow what a difference i cannot believe the further progress he has made. He is not sure about the feeling coming back yet but we are hopeful and thinking positive.I wanted to share his journey to tell people that there is hope and not to give up.
Welcome Maymay. This is a really positive post and it’s lovely to see. I hope you get to see your partner a bit more so you can celebrate those wins with him. Maybe see if he would like to join the forum too. He’ll be inspired to keep on going reading the stories here.
Hi Maymay,
What a wonderful post 
Thank you for sharing your story and I am sure that anyone reading this will never doubt there is hope and I expect they will be truly inspired to never ever give up.
Well done you and well done your partner for a wonderful achievement.
Wishing you both all the best.
Namaste|
P.S.
No need to be sorry - this is not at all a long post. In fact, if anything it is too short and I am sure we would love to hear a lot more. As @Bigmugoftea says, maybe your partner can join this forum and share his views with us
@Maymay hi & welcome to the community. It is great to hear how well your partner is doing after a relatively short period of time. It sounds like he is full of determination & that you are a great support to him too.
It sounds like he is starting to get some of his feeling back. It can be hit & miss initially & it may take a while for it to return fully but every little step helps.
I hope you get to see more of him in the weeks to come.
Best wishes
Ann
Hi @Maymay
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your partners stroke.
It’s great to hear that he’s doing so well and I hope it continues to go that way and also that you get to spend some more time with him soon. It’s always great to have a strong network of family and friends around you when going through recovery.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
Hi all an update on my partners recovery. After making such great progress unfortunately he is back in hospital after having a 2nd stroke. He had a blood clot on his brain and it has affected his left side again. He is doing ok, his speech hasn’t been affected and he can still feed himself but looks like he’s back to square 1. He still has his sense of humour that never went. He is still the same as he was after the first stroke just the left side function again so that means he has to start again but we are staying positive and not giving up. We are hanging on to the phrase it gets worse before it gets better. He will be monitored in hospital for a couple off weeks but he is determined not to let it beat him. Luckily if this is the right word to use it was a mild stroke and not like the last one. He can still move his left side he just got to learn to walk again. We are hopeful he will start to recover again soon.
I’m so sorry to see this, but I am glad you are remaining positive and not giving up. You could well be right when you say it gets worse before it gets better. The good news is, and it is good news, that the stroke was a mild one - this might suggest the preventative medication may have helped to keep it mild though it did not stop it.
It may be the case that the worst is now over and once your partner is discharged you should be able to plan ahead.
Wishing you and your partner all the best.
Take care.
Peace & Love
Sorry to hear this. Good that you are both remaining positive & that your partner still has his sense of humour.
You’ve done it before so can do it again. At least you are armed with a bit of knowledge this time.
You’re right about the it gets worse before it gets better. I often use that phrase. You’ve had the worse now so here’s to it getting much better for you. Xx
Hi all heres an update on my partners second stroke. He has been back in hospital for a week now. The first 5 days he was just sleeping and when he was awake he didn’t want to talk i was just sitting there in silence but i didn’t care i just wanted to see him and be with him even if it was just for half an hour i treasure that time because you never know. Today was different he was talking, he was in good spirits we even had a laugh but it could be different tomorrow. Hes started physio and today he stood up with assistance but he didn’t think it was much but i thought it was amazing, baby steps and i told him how proud i was off him. I think his recovery may take longer this time, but who knows next week he could be walking with a frame again. At the moment the doctors are watching his blood pressure as it drops a little now and then but apart from that he’s doing well apart from being bored which hospitals are but he is in the best place and as i say all good things comes to those who wait, he’s not the most patient person but i reminded him about all the times he told me i need to be patient so what is good for one is good for the other he shut up then haha. I know hes starting to get better as he had his favourite today a KFC so i was like “and there he is” he’s slowly starting to come back. Not sure on the physical side of things yet but we are staying positive he done it once he can do it again only time will tell but every progress is amazing no matter how small.
Absolutely the way to look at it.
Best wishes to you and your partner.
Great to hear he is progressing ok. You sound so very supportive & with you by his side I have no doubt he will make great progress. There will be good and not so good days but it’s the overall progress that matters.
He should be very pleased that he managed to stand with support. A week on from his 2nd stroke isn’t that long really.
Hope things continue to improve at pace and that he is soon home again.
Best wishes to you both
Ann
Hi all another update on my partners 2nd stroke. After being in bed for 12 days in hospital he is finally found the strength to try and walk, hes only done a few steps to him its not much to to me its amazing (baby steps). I have been going to see him everyday sometimes twice a day to take him for a coffee or to sit outside for an hour in a wheelchair, hes always been an outdoor person so that bit of fresh air and a change of scenery cheers him up. It was so lovely to see him take them 1st steps, i was even teary with joy of corse, every step counts no matter how many he takes is a bonus. He will be going back to rehab again soon to continue his treatment, his left side is still affected but so far so good, hopefully the worse is now over and he will continue to get better and stronger in his recovery.
Hi @Maymay - that is wonderful news. I am so pleased for you both.
I think you taking him out for a coffee or outdoors is brilliant and I know it can be difficult to find time to do these things - well done
It is so rewarding when we see these positive outcomes and progress no matter how small - you just let your partner know he is doing well and he should be proud. As he gets stronger he will achieve more. Sometimes, slow and steady is best. Remember, and this is important, in our haste or keenness to go hard we can over do it and stress our body and brain and then it will react by stopping you. That will then make you think of failure or a setback - it’s avoidable. Pace yourself.
Wishing you both all the best.
That’s amazing. Small steps lead to bigger steps. One leads to two leads to three etc etc. He will get stronger each time he tries & the rest will come in time.
I bet he loves being taken for coffee & to sit outside too. I spent far too long stuck in the house after my stroke & was very grateful every time someone took me out even for 10 mins.
so happy to hear of his progress. Well done to both of you xx
Hi all its been a couple off weeks since i last posted about my partners 2nd stroke so here is the latest update. Its been 5 weeks since his 2nd stroke but within the last 2 weeks he is now walking (with a frame) sitting in a chair, no feeling in left side yet but he is doing really well even the doctors are pleased with his progress. His blood pressure and sugar levels are up and down but that could be due to change off medication. He watches the clock everyday waiting for me to arrive as he knows ill be taking him outside for an hour and he looks forward to that. The doctors say he is ready for rehab they are just waiting for a bed to become available. All in all everything looks positive and hopefully the worst is now over and he will continue to progress and get stronger, wether or not the feeling will come back only time will tell, he still has a long recovery/journey ahead of him but we are staying positive and determined to look forward to our happy future.
It’s great to hear that your partner is doing so well. He seems to have come a long way in a relatively short period of time.
Hopefully he’ll get the rehab he needs soon. One step closer to getting home.
Best wishes
Ann
Hi all. So its been a month since my last update. Where do i start. The past few weeks have been difficult, my partner won’t eat, won’t move, he’s getting snappy at everyone it’s like he’s giving up. He won’t listen to anyone not even the medical staff. I do think he is going into depression but i’m worried im losing him as he has not interest in anything or anyone not even his 17 year old son. I understand he has had enough and he’s fed up and frustrated but he has a lot to fight for but he doesn’t seem bothered anymore. I am worried that if he doesn’t get himself in order he won’t be here for much longer. He is so weak and lost so much weight due to the lack of food. He told me when we got together that he would do anything for me but he won’t fight this. I knew the 2nd time around would be harder but he did it once he can do it again but he is so stubborn it’s unreal. Myself and his family have tried everything but nothing. Iv’e lost a lot off people over the last couple of years including my twin grandsons and i’m not ready to lose someone else i love. Everytime his mum rings me i dread answering it incase it’s bad news, I feel lost and hurt and don’t know how to cope.
Post stroke is a rough ride. In the early days, the vigour to recover quickly is a knee jerk reaction. The brain goes into fight or flight, and more often it goes into fight. As time passes, fatigue and the reality that for many, post stroke repair is a long term endeavour. This can bring on depression and frustration. Imagine a child, say three, trying to put together Lego blocks. The blocks don’t quite fit and the child gets frustrated and angry despite the promise in the mind of building something amazing in that child’s imagination. As an impulsive person. I have to reel myself in and continue to train myself to pace myself. As a partner, your undamaged brain is trying to understand how a damaged brain is managing the self. I have friends who have things like Schizophrenia and I can’t possibly put myself in their shoes, but I am always patient with them and mindful that they are moving in a different mental sphere than myself because I love them as my friends.
@Maymay following the above post a month ago I was so pleased that things were going so well for you and your partner and am therefore very sorry to read your last update. What has happened or maybe not happened that has caused the change in your partner? What happened to the rehab and coffee outings?
Maybe the change in weather has something to do with it? Sometimes this can be a dampener. I do hope this is just a minor blip. Perhaps your partner expected too much too soon and had high expectations on how much progress can be made and you ad your son should sit down with your partner and have a chat about how stroke recovery can sometimes take longer than you might like. Other than that I cannot think what else might be said to try and help your partner.
Rupert @Rups has explained things much better than I can and I echo all he says. I really hope your partner will listen to all the goodwill coming their way and wish you both the best.
I know this can be hard to see and accept but we can only do so much to help others and if you have tried everything then I guess there might not be anything else other than accept and respect your partner’s wishes.
So sorry to hear that he is struggling so much. If must be really difficult for you to see him going down hill like that, especially as he seemed to be doing so well.
Has anyone been to see him about his mental health? What are the drs doing to help him? Has something changed that has caused this?
I really hope this is just a phase he is going through as stroke can have many ups and downs and it isn’t always easy to see a way forward. Maybe you and his family can talk to him about how far he has come in a relatively short period of time and that he will continue to progress if he works at it.
Sending you strength and my best wishes.
Ann x