“You know, you come from nothing, and you’re going back to nothing, what have you lost? Nothing?” Paraphrased from the classic Python song by Eric Idle. After waking up groggy to one of @Bobbi’s posts, I thought it might be interesting or beneficial to have a thread about what people thought about life after stroke. Life as a concept, this living thing we do, this breathing and thought related world we live in. We all are living creatures communicating with each other, what makes us tick? What is life now after stroke? Did you think life was something else prior to stroke? How has that changed?
Argue if you like, it’s all in good fun. Keep aspersions to the minimal.
My life has been a series of phases. Each one bringing change that had somehow to be dealt with. Generally each of these was in the nature of a disaster that saw off things as they had been.
I have been told I should write a book, but I won’t be attempting that in this post.
Likely the story would spring a leak 7/8 of the way through and sink without trace leaving me bobbing (forgive me the use of that word) about in rolling waves wondering how or if I could reach some distant shore.
A little self reflection is no bad thing and voicing your truth should not to be avoided, so yes @Rups I think there is a place for this sort of thread.
Keep on keepin’ on
It’s late/ early I must away to bed
I muse about Galileo and how he somehow was a square peg in a round hole and how so many, both high and low discovered this.
As the sun whirls around the earth I contemplate how easy it is to rub the establishment up the wrong way and how devastating is the wrath of the gods, the angels and them as was voted in, who got themselves into a position of power.
Lead us not into temptation.
It is indisputable that sugar and salt are the true evils on this earth.
Spare me, I recant.
As I said once before
It’s late/ early I must away to bed
Stroke might change the shape of things but it won’t be making square pegs fit into round holes any time soon.
Well @Rups that’s certainly a very broad & potentially deep topic that you opened
Philosophers have been attempting to plumb this particular thought-well for at least two or three millennia. There was definitely a point in the past (late bronze age collapse) when a mode of thinking became prevalent which has coloured most of our thoughts since, or more accurately constrained most of our thoughts.
the Christian & islamic etc churches monopolised with their de facto propositional interpretation -that maybe never did but certainly now no longer provides tenable answers too much of what you raise for many people - by being founded on the idea of accepting a supernatural being with a few earthbound interpreters and the promise of a better life elsewhere if you do what the earthbound interpreters decreed -which was always coloured by their own self-interests - so I think in answer your question the first thing I have to do is say that the received systems by which meaning is said to be established in life don’t work for me.
As Bobby said this could be a book and I don’t have any intentions of trying to create that much text.
I think before stroke life was a succession of struggles, victories, significant events, days that couldn’t be distinguished from each other, etc and post-stroke it still is. the struggles are different. The context is different. My age is different The kids have grown moved on which all creates different episodes or chapters. Also the nature of my stroke is not the same as the nature of other people’s strokes For example I haven’t found emotions or relationships traumatically disrupted (indeed i could say relationships have been improved ) whereas some people haven’t been so lucky; so their answers are likely to be very different because they have very different impacts to deal with
My conclusion is largely It was an event that has long lasting consequences but changed some of my focuses but essentially because of when it happened I at the point I was about to retire altered the course of a new chapter so I don’t really have a basis of comparison because I wouldn’t have carried on with the old life and this new life just has a limp and one hand in it but it still has a garden and a wife and kids and etc
One noticeable thing is that I think stroke Is the entry ticket into a community where there is a great deal more tolerance than exists in the rest of society. I wonder if the same is true of communities based around cancer or other traumatic incidents and is it that therefore trauma is a necessary transporter or translator or lens with beneficial after effects?
Ok here goes. Always been interested in The Meaning of Life and think those Monty Pythons rascals got it right. Superficially took an interest in most faiths but our chum Simon in Edinburgh, take on religions is spot on. Was just a normal chap ( My partner who disagree) before the heavenly smitting. Few days after coming out of hospital realised that something had radically changed with my outlook on life. Made mistake of saying to my fantastic Wife “Nothing really matters any more and was very sincere” Boy that went down like lead ballon and trying to explain it dug myself in deeper. Two+ years on still in cloud cuckoo land and have learned not to try explain it, you cant. But must limited myself to this.
As Bob Marley sang “Don’t worry about a thing, because every little things gonna be Ok”
Know for some this might sound flippant but I am being very sincere here. Could go on and on but won’t. Got to start writing my 10 Volumes on the way to Cosmic Conciousness
I’m 25 and had a stroke a little over 2 months ago. It was a vertebral artery stroke that affected my brain stem. I’m lucky to be as functional as I am today and am very thankful for it. Struggling with insurance and getting the follow ups I need in a timely matter, have been frustrating to say the least. Not to mention the difficulties that come with the healing after. I know it hasn’t been very long since the incident; and all the doctors say it’s hopeful I’ll heal well since I’m young. But it’s still scary to wonder what limitations I’m going to have the rest of my life. I’m more just rambling but I guess I am wondering how has life been for others after having a stroke?
@Bobbi, well I certainly have less time now for the machinations of power and progress. I was fairly inclusive before stroke but I don’t want to play the facile game presented in front of me by business and politics anymore. My principles are now focussed on the immediate, what is put in front of me and what is occurring outside my window.
@SimonInEdinburgh, I don’t subscribe to any faith. I usually tell people that on a good day, I am agnostic, and on a bad day, I am an atheist. I know a chap who had a serious brain injury when he was a teenager, he got hit by a lorry while he was riding his pushbike, had to be air-lifted from the incident. When he visits, he wanders around my property singing loudly to himself. I found it odd but quaint, yet, now it is me I find singing loudly to myself as I go about my daily business. Not shy of hitting a high, wobbly note. I used to be the quiet one, minding my own business. Now, I tend to talk to everyone, even strangers. I think my need to be involved with my sense of self has changed.
@Pds, cloud cuckoo land is quite a lovely spot. Before stroke, I always liked fictional and fantasy ideas. After stroke, it has become vital to my well-being. One thing I do subscribe to is the narrative of the self. The human desire to tell stories, to represent ideas and include the natural world within that is a stronger motivating force behind my daily existence than prior to stroke.
@katesmith1304, my limitations do frustrate me at times, but I guess they also present an alternative challenge in trying different ways to do things, and different approaches to life.
@Rups
I think life was before & is still a succession of episodes that are overlapped, nested, crossing, sequential, parallel. Each starts and or ends with a ‘significant’ marker (birth and death being 2). The religions provided a scripted procedures for each with symbolisms by which each was conducted & the people we’re told what the meaning was (and inevitably a self reinforcing message of subservience from the 'meaning’). So for many the meaning of life was following the feudal head & priests, then bishops (et al), monarch’s wishes because that was the price of the 24 virgins or the halls of Valhalla etc.
Enduring religions clearly meet needs that are basic to a person (psycho-) and a group (sociolo-) so an examination of there components seems fruitful as a premises to answer your questions by.
The meaning of life is perhaps then the sum total of memories and their relatability to and for others. That relatability element is then against a frame of reference. A stroke event is the transition between multiple episodes. & has many facets for every observer each of which is interpreted against a contextualizing frame that in the instance of a stroke invalidates many hitherto lifelong reliable yardstick. Part of life after stroke is the search for understanding of new yardsticks.
Discontinuous change has always been an irresistible catalyst. The challenge is to use that catalyst to be generative of a positive forward looking outlook. I suggest those that struggle the most with their recovery try to cling to their old frame of reference and interpret their current status quo as a deficit rather than a pivot or reorientation towards new targets on a horizon previously not looked toward.
Ditto that the evolution of relationships post stroke since the event is shared but the reaction and reorientation may not be.
One noticeable thing is that I think stroke Is the entry ticket into a community where there is a great deal more tolerance than exists in the rest of society. I wonder if the same is true of communities based around cancer or other traumatic incidents and is it that therefore trauma is a necessary transporter or translator or lens with beneficial after effects?
I can answer that question…it most certainly does – if one is looking for the good.
thought 1) my worst day pre-stroke was better than my best day post-stroke
thought 2) life has not changed ; work is still work, & so is happiness & sadness
thought 3) am I doing 2 steps forward and 1 step back? or the other way around?
thought 4) we fail every day. I felt that way before my stroke… now, I’m not so sure
thought 5) I can’t make my wife feel happy if I am not happy with myself
I’m sure I can improve these, just that today is a particularly bad day. I have paraesthesia and spasticity in my leg, among many other problems.
Sorry for the bad post, Roland
I am sorry you are having a rough day. I remember 8 months in well. Seemed like any new progress was so slow in coming. I thought it had stopped. I got depressed. Thankfully some medication helped and speaking with others is helping even more now. Seems like that is when the grief of what I had lost really set in. Now I am finding I haven’t really lost a thing, just some of the old things were not as important to me as I thought they were, but rather a habit I was used to. New things are beginning, albiet somewhat slower than I hoped. Hang in there, we will see better days, and occasionally some low days. Let’s get through them together.
Our spirituality is probably not exactly like anyone else’s. I attend very progressive Quaker meeting with many who are agnostic, holistic, scientific, follow other established religions. We are a mixed group for certain. I attend meetings via Zoom, as do many from around the globe, although it is a small meeting house. My spirituality has very little to do with established religion, but of where I am led. Quaker fit me better than anything else because of the concepts of consensus and seeing that of God in everyone. I am a follower of Jesus because of his love and grace. I don’t need to think of him as a savior for eternal life…love saves me every day in this one. I don’t need to know all the answers like I used to. I know when I was near death, I was not afraid, but was peaceful. When it comes, it comes. I follow science but know it will never be able to answer all of our questions. Physics tells me there is the same amount of mass in the universe, although the universe is expanding…in that i find hope in a future mass of me somewhere in it, however that might be. I imagine myself as a shooting star zooming through the sky, or a wavelength blowing over your shoulder, whispering in your ear.
To answer the question: My attitude (sans depression for a short time) is much better now than before. No fear, not much is worth a hill of beans to me other than loving those around me, and allowing others in to love me. The second is the harder task, believe it or not.
That’s interesting, my paternal line comes from 18th century Quakers who were primarily theologian philosophers who eventually aligned their beliefs with the Anglican Church.
I attended a class about the history of Quakers recently. There were many odd ways of protest over the years. It was eye opening. Glad they don’t hang or burn them anymore. There are not many Quakers in the US. I was just invited to visit an inn and conference center they run near Grassmere in the lakes region. It looks like a lovely place, but I doubt I will make it.
Boy is life after stroke a steep learning curve.Remember it took a while for me to shed the self pity and find myself in a better place. And it slowly dawn on me in moments of peaceful silence that life’s not that bad if I can accept the new shattered me and slowly bit by bit get on with life the best I can. This Forum of Good eggs all in the same box telling their stories and offering support and advice has been invaluable to my recovery
Good on you All Paul
@Rups prior to stroke I thought i was invincible never sick always on the go, now more Thomas the tank engine slowly does it always cheerful. I too have been encouraged to write a book, one day I might
You are so young and this condition you find yourself in is still very much in the early stages of healing, but you still have youth on your side. And welcome to the forum @katesmith1304, I’m so sorry you’ve had to join but you couldn’t have picked a better place to start on your road to recovery. This forum is full of wonderful stroke survivors who can or will find answers to all your questions and are a good good sounding board to let off steam or ramble.
What you’re feeling at the moment, we have all been through, but it will get better and those feelings will pass. You are young and strong enough to overcome or adapt to new ways of doing things. How much you get out of this time of healing, depends how much work you’re prepared to put into it. The first 6mths are the most active time for brain recovery so gets lot of rest as that is when your brain is processing all that it has learned and recovered. Eat well as good nutrition is vital fuel for the brain. And keep on top of all therapies because repetition is the key to recovery.
Mind over matter; right now the future doesn’t matter, just concentrate on recovery, in the here and now. The future will take care of itself when that time comes, but just now your brain has more than enough to contend with; slow and steady wins the race.
It’s been over 2yrs since my stroke and I’m 61yrs old, I’ve been back driving a year now, do weight training in the gym 5 days a week, go hiking…nothing too mountainous though, gardening . . . just all at slower pace than your youth
I don’t know what your current physical condition is regards your stroke but it’s too early to tell if any of it is going to be life changing or permanent. So just celebrate what you have and what it gives back to you as and when it happens and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Prior to the stroke I thought I was invincible, been told many times I was high risk cos of high blood pressure, always thought, I’m only in my mid forties I’m young, itll never happen to me. How wrong I was!
At work, although I enjoyed my job, I was a constant moaner and very vocal if wasn’t happy over certain things and that moaning often carried on when I got home
Being off work now for some 11 months, I cannot put into words how much I miss being there and my work mates, 2 in particular who I love to bits( it’s ok my wife knows how the 3 of us feel about each other ) those 2 pull me through the hard days when I’ve felt like packing in
When I do eventually go back it will be a different me. Yes I might have a little moan occasionally but I’ll be appreciative that I’m in a job enjoy with the most amazing work mates( they all had whip round for me last year when the stroke happened)
I’d like to think that the stroke has changed me for the better, though I still wish it hadn’t bloody happened!
) whereas some people haven’t been so lucky; so their answers are likely to be very different because they have very different impacts to deal with
Paul
) those 2 pull me through the hard days when I’ve felt like packing in