Cool @SimonInEdinburgh
There does tend to be a split in jobs though in any house ? Some things my wife is just much better at than I am. One for instance would be wrapping presents.
I can only assume that when I went on the swing putting back up course or build a pond aged 6, Mrs p must have gone on the wrapping presents one. I will never ever be as good as she is. I just don’t have the same level of skill.
You just end up with a natural divide that develops over time. May be it’s based on interest, strength perhaps or just if you are any good at it.
The best jobs of course are when you work together, like making IKEA furniture.
3 Likes
You are not being lazy, being 7 weeks post stroke.
a stroke is not like a broken bone which is put in plaster for 6/7 weeks and then taken off.
You need to get used to being post stroke and need to figure out what you can and can’t do. Each stroke in any given person is totally different to every other stroke person.
However, most stroke people suffer from fatigue to greater of lesser extent.
You are not the Same person as you were before your stroke.you will be affected to some extent.
Try doing something around the house and see how your body responds.
I’m sorry if I sound harsh or rude but I don’t mean to come across as being so.
It’s your body and you know your own body
Let your body tell you how it is feeling on an hour by hour, day by day basis.
4 Likes
That’s the only thing, I did know my body but idea now
3 Likes
Hi @garethc970
Hope y’ still on for 11 ?
On the know your body topic - my analogy is its like buying a second hand car for a hundred quid it’s full of rattles and wheezes But you don’t know the cause or seriousness of.
Every stroke warrior has symptoms a largely share with others but their total set in aggregate it will be unique. The experience of people here if you are reading posts will get you some indication of what the common elements are and they might emphasise might allow you to make sense but you will have to have a healthy scepticism of their applicability until you can verify against your own experience
Ciao
Simon
4 Likes
Yeah still ok for then
1 Like
Oh I agree whole heartedly, it’s 50/50 with us too. Although my gift wrapping skills have deteriorated since the stroke, so I’m more on a par with you and my hubby now 
1 Like
You’ll relearn it and learn pace yourself. You’ve been in shock and your body shut down for the past 7 weeks. And you haven’t done “nothing”, your brain has been healing and that takes a lot of energy and concentration, this is major surgery and very delicate. It’s just too much to expect it to help around the house as well, it couldn’t handle both.
Right now, the brain is in charge, not you! It will tell you when it’s ready to do more. And clearly it has, its now ready for the next stage but it will go at it’s own pace not yours. Push it to its limits and it shuts down, that’s where the fatigue comes in. So you just have to learn your pace.
5 Likes
yes me only one month post stroke and my wife has been superb luckily i have not suffered any major effects so am still pretty much self sufficient but there have been times when i have been close to biting er head off when the pampering has got too much. need to sit her down and talk about it to find the right balance, she does it all with love of course and there are times when my feelings of guilt about turning her life upside down make it almost too much to bear, we will find a balance i’m sure ,so onwards we go.
Love to all
Wattsy
6 Likes
Hi @wattsy
I may know what you mean
My wife does lots for me too and I am grateful for it - and there are some times when it’s good in the short term and not so good in the long term .
She gets frustrated that I don’t ask for help but then my philosophy is if I wanted my coat on and my shoes done up I’d ask but if I want to get my hand into usage these are opportunities where the struggle brings growth.
I’ve learnt not to use my reserves to argue about it in other times and just accept. I try and redress the balance a little by doing things like the laundry particularly the unloading of the washing machine because that is again a good upper limb development activity and the hoovering because that is a another good upper limb activity. I also do all the gardening
This stroke thing is an adjustment for all
Ciao
Simon
2 Likes
Hi Simon
Thanks will take that on board, I sounded a bit ungrateful
3 Likes
It does help to talk because your wife is not a mind reader 
But also talking may relieve some bottled up worry and stress in her that you are not even aware of.
You are 79 after all, so I’m going to assume your wife is somewhere in that region too. I’m pretty sure she must have thought she was losing you when you had your stroke! She’s still reeling from that shock and rightly so, it’s only been about a month. You are not out of the woods yet and she knows this!
But you may relieve some pressure on her by letting her know she doesn’t need to fuss or do so much for you. That she is actually helping you more in your recovery by stepping back and letting you do for yourself. It’s not that you are being ungrateful and I’m sure you are thankful that you have her to call on if you do need help, to catch you when you fall so to speak.
Does she take any time out to do her own thing at all, any outside interests or activities she does as a break away from it all…where she can breath and destress a little? Because of course, another tac to take is turn the table a little and make a fuss of her…she went through it too! 
3 Likes