Hi @khkimbelry welcome to the forum. Time and patience are truly a great healer, particularly after a stroke. Recovery takes years and then some and thereâs still plenty of time for all this to switch back on, for the man you love to return to some semblance of normal. Mine has, ok, Iâm still a bit of a work in progress, but Iâm now out and about doing things both with my hubby and family and on my own, independently. Your hubby will get there too, his brain is in charge now and canât be pushed, I know this 'cos Iâve tried 
He may even want to really do certain things but his is holding him back. Be patient because he still can only do things in small bites, still get fatigued
Thatâs the result of his stroke, the brain damage affecting his emotional control centres, theyâre switched off basically. All my emotions, aside from laughter, were set to neutral after my stroke 4½ years ago, couldnât feel a thing for anything emotionally. And like your husband, mine too was diagnosed as a TIA, but I beg to differ.
Anyway, I had no feelings either way, emotionally numb, Apathetic. To such an extent that I had to fake them just for the sake of propriety, so I was at least aware of this apathy. But it was still hard work for the brain to fake emotions, so naturally, it was impossible to keep that up full time. No excitement, no anticipation, no looking forward to things, no urge for anything, no interest, no sadness, no worry, no fright, absolutely nothing. But I could laugh! I could laugh at the silliest of things and sometimes at inappropriate times too, I laughed at myself often.
I felt I was detached from myself, for want of a better way to describe it. But I was aware!
And itâs very hard to explain it, particularly so for me as I also couldnât speak, and still have mild aphasia. But cognitive impairment and short term memory lose also played a big part in the overall effect of this detachment I felt of myself. So my life for the first year or two was very much that of a robot, full of very set routines in those early years! And yes, I would have been just fine with just sitting alone and doing nothing in particular. And I did often do just that in order to give my brain a rest.
But, as I said, I was aware this, and in a way it helped a lot two fold. A) Because I could set tasks such as my physio exercise regime and just go at it without feelings such as despondency/canât be bother. B) Having my emotions switched off meant my stress levels were switched off, so nothing could alarm or stress me out, I didnât get over emotional about anything. This was a great condition to be in for the healing and recovery of my brain 
I donât know if I managed to relay any of this to my family, but my daughter is very into psychology, so between us all, they managed to figure a lot things out 
And will always be eternally grateful to for their love, patience and tolerance and seeing me through the worst of it.
And I dare say, he doesnât actually miss anything, if heâs anything like I was. But that is a good thing for him in his recovery. There are many on here who went the other way, so donât knock it, it could just as easily have been a lot worse 
Blood pressure medications can also calm emotions down, they help keep you on an even keel. But they can also have a negative effect libido.
I was about 18mths after the stroke that cognition switched back on for, that was quite sudden, like the flip of a light switch. The apathy, emotions, along with memory, started improving after that, but they have been more gradual. But they are a lot more switched on now, that they are really not noticeable to anyone but me . . . much like my aphasia 
So hang in there, there is still a lot of hope, anything can improve any day now, or next month or 6 months from now. I know Iâm still improving!
Lorraine
PS: If your hubbyâs emotions are switched off, it might actually help him to read this post if heâs unaware of this part of current condition. It certainly wonât set him back in any way, but it might just help him spring forward, just knowing heâs not alone in this condition and that there is light at the end of tunnel.
Emotions feeling âswitched offâ after a stroke can manifest as apathy, a lack of interest or feeling, or as emotional lability, where emotions become unpredictable, overwhelming, or appear in inappropriate situations. These changes are due to brain damage affecting emotional control centers and can significantly impact a personâs well-being, but many emotional and behavioral changes tend to improve over time.
Understanding the Changes
This involves a significant decrease in motivation, interest, and emotional drive. People with apathy might feel numb or indifferent to things they once cared about.
This condition causes sudden, uncontrollable episodes of crying or laughing that are often inappropriate for the situation. While appearing emotional, the feelings expressed may not reflect the personâs true internal state.
- Emotional Lability (Emotionalism):
A stroke can impair the ability to control emotions, leading to rapid mood swings or an inability to regulate emotional responses.
Why It Happens
- A stroke can damage the specific parts of the brain responsible for regulating emotions and behaviors.
- These changes can also be linked to other common effects of stroke, such as fatigue, depression, or other cognitive changes.
What You Can Do
Seek professional help for persistent or distressing emotional changes.
Try to maintain a routine, stay active with low-impact exercises like walking or swimming, and ensure you have proper nutrition.
Engage in social situations and activities that you enjoy to combat feelings of withdrawal and depression.
Connect with other stroke survivors and join support groups to share experiences and find reassurance.
Talking with a therapist or counsellor can help you develop coping strategies for managing your emotions.
