It’s surprising how a little bit of stress can lead to a whole lot of fatigue when it manages to catch you out.
My car died right at a junction at the end of my road yesterday. I was on my way out, taking my daughter to the dentist. Trouble is, it has a bit of a blind bend and the road itself is a bit bendy. I did manage to roll back from the junction but ended up with my front end sticking out a bit as a result of the bends. One of the pitfalls of power steering is its hard to steer without the power…so much for all my weight training
Anyway, I sent my daughter back to fetch my hubby and as we were trying to straighten the car out to push it home, along came a road recovery truck with a car on the back. And those wonderful guys helped get the car back down the road and onto the drive
But those few minutes of minor stress really, just wasted me for the rest of the day I just about managed dinner, but I had no inclination or much energy to anything else. And I just wanted to sleep! I felt I could very well have slept the rest of the day if I’d let myself. I did take a nap but couldn’t sleep anyway. But that’s how I felt for the remainder of the day.
I was trying to reply to @SimonInEdinburgh in a chat, and I’ll be honest with you Simon, I just couldn’t raise the interest, I just wanted to switch off. Sorry about that, but I’m back to normal today.
That’s what fatigue does to you! A little bit of minor stress can bring on fatigue and floor you for the rest of the day. The stress can be anything that’s just out of the ordinary. Before my stroke, the car breaking down and being so close to home anyway, wouldn’t have fazed me. But now it does so love to surprise me and catch me on the hop
It does show how relatively calm I try to keep my life, quiet even, boring maybe I know what a little bit of stress can do to me, unfortunately not all the stressors in life can be avoided
EmeraldEyes. That’s just the post I needed!! Have been sitting here worrying about why I was feeling sooo tired having done very little this morning except join friends for coffee. Having read your post I realised the problem. To get to the cafe I have to walk - with husband - down a quite uneven passageway. As I’m still working on my walking this passageway stresses me out every time I use it! I worry about it before I even get there, worry while I’m chatting and drinking coffee and worry about walking back down it! Question answered as to why I’m so tired - STRESS! Thanks!
Oh gosh YES, that will sooo cause you stress and then the oncoming fatigue. It’s seems like such a normal activity, you wouldn’t think twice about before your stroke. But now your brain is having to think and consider so many things and plan ahead for eventualities, and it’s having to concentrate on the actual mechanics of walking, balance issues, etc etc etc. It’s no wonder you are so stressed and fatigued by the end of it all.
So take the rest of the day off without the need to feel guilty or worried about it. Tomorrow’s another day and forewarned is forarmed
@EmeraldEyes Oh my Gosh what an ordeal and pain in Butt! I guess stress hits us in varied ways. I’m lucky that I never have fatigue. My stress, whether from hard times, anger, or sadness, and worry comes in the form of hyper-tone. Last night while cooking, The weather report came on TV and was about 4 to 8 inches of snow next day. I so wanted to have a lovely walk with my wife. Boom, I got hit with spasticity across my back. I said to my body…“REALLY” ? Come on Now" ridiculous.
Have you tried a good strong cup of tea or coffee to help with fatigue? Caffiene sure gives me a jolt of energy.
Good luck with your car…so sorry.
Derek
That’s probably why on the whole I’m a relatively calm, even tempered sort of person…I drink tea by the gallon
And then of course today, mentioning it to my daughter, she pins exactly which part of my stroke was affected. And that sets us off on an analytical tour of the stroke side of my brain and so on
Oh and as it turns out, the car needs a new battery
@EmeraldEyes i too find the smallest stressor brings on fatigue and also emotional lability. I often find myself sat weeping over things that should never have that affect on me.
If i’d have been in your car situation it would have totally floored me so well done on getting through it even if it resulted in fatigue.
Hopefully the new battery will stop it happening again…if only we could just change our battery and the fatigue disappear
Yes minor stress creeps up on me and if I am unaware , it send me spiralling. Wonder what’s happened. Start to think negative thoughts. Then a day or two later the penny drops after the dreaded fatigue. And I’m a happy bunny again. I know when I push the boat out it’s risky and expect fatigue, but didn’t accept for a while that silly minor hiccups also can lay me low.
I can empathise, I have found I really have to try and manage emotional stress since my stroke, especially as my general anxiety levels have gone through the roof. I can feel my whole body ‘shaking’, exacerbates my headaches and like you, can completely knacker me out. I have found myself getting worked up by things much more easily - my best advice is try not to worry about worrying ( not doing a very good job of that myself at times! ). If you’re tired - physically or mentally just take a break or have a lie-down and try not to feel bad about doing that. It’s like long distance running - seems impossible to start with, you just need to start slowly and take your time and accept that there will be some steps back as well as forward.
Hi i had my stroke November '22 and tbh the 1st year i was so tired everyone said oh your recovering but i knew itbwas something else. Now i get anxious at the drop of a hat and then the fatique just hits me like a massive wave, anxiety and stress just ramp up the fatigue so much now
So true. Stress seems to bring out the worst of all my residual effects from my stroke. Then it leads to poor sleep & a vicious cycle begins. Ugh! The days get better and we are here for you!
Hello everyone, thank you so much for sharing your experiences about having to deal with minor stressors post stroke. I’m so glad to hear that I’m not alone.
I’ve had to deal with a lot of stressful events post stroke, which increased my anxiety levels and had me even more depressed to the point where I had suicidal thoughts.
I can deal with minor every day stressors but major ones overwhelm me. A few days before Christmas Day three months after my stroke I had a massive argument with my family who refused to understand that I wasn’t ready to eat at a restaurant, as I had problems swallowing food (dysphagia). The family decided to punish me using silent treatment and I spent Christmas day alone.
When I came to Scotland, dealing with the Home Office was so stressful as they refused to accept my application for a spousal visa, which would allow me to stay here so that my partner would look after me. I was facing deportation and was so stressed as my family had abandoned me. Luckily my partner and I were able to appeal the Home Offices decision at an Immigration Tribunal.
In June 2023 I had to make a decision to shut down my legal practice back in my country, as the associates were not able to bring in new business following my stroke. The income from the practice allowed me to get private physiotheraphy and counselling here in Scotland. A month later my bank back home blocked my bank card and failed to inform me of the reason. So I had to rely on my partner for personal expenses, which was extremely hard for an independent person like me.
The Christmas holidays last year were a total nightmare and there were a number of events that happened with my partner’s family. The issues were stressing him out, which in turn was affecting my anxiety levels. To make matters worse I had covid and was struggling with the symptoms which had a detrimental effect on my stroke deficits. All I wanted was a peaceful and calm environment and at one point things got so bad that I started shaking and crying a lot. I isolated myself in our bedroom refusing to come out or read any food. I’m already very thin and weigh 43 kgs but my intention was to starve myself and end my life.
Luckily things got better when my partner’s friend intervened and told my partner that the issues with his family were stressing me out. One of the reasons why I was so upset was because my partner’s blood pressure skyrocketed due to family issues and I was worried about him having either a heart attack or a stroke, since he already have the risk factors (overweight, drinks, vapes, doesn’t exercise).
Since the events that happened over the holidays I’ve decided to distance myself from my partner’s family. I’ve also joined a singing group at a local community centre and also signed up for art for anxiety sessions. My goal this year is to create a calm and nurturing environment around me.
Thank you Simon I’m already part of a young stroke survivor group that was set up a few months ago. We meet on the first Tuesday of every month.
I’ve also been advised by my neuropsychologist to get in touch with Ashley Ainslie Hospital to better help for the emotional side of my recovery.
I saw something mentioning going in SSRI for anxiety. I was on them for three years but came off them in April 2023. I will talk to my GP about going back on them as they were extremely helpful in managing my anxiety.
Yes the group was set up by Jolene and a young stroke survivor.
Regarding SSRI I have no problems being on them. I was on one type about 20 years ago when I was then I was working for a big law firm and was extremely stressed.
I went on anxiety and antidepressant medicine after the stroke as I developed post traumatic stress disorder.
My partner and I have done a lot of research on some of the alternatives to SSRI, which have recently gained a lot of traction in the mental health sector.
I am willing to explore other options later on in future but at the moment, having spoken to my neuropsychologist about my current lack of ability to manage my emotions, I will continue being on SSRI.
@joy.alliy my word that is a lot of large stressors to be dealing with in one go. It must have been so difficult for you & I am sad to read of how low you got.
It is good to read that you are making positive steps to fet yourself back on an even keel.
Joy, you have been through too much now it’s time to move on without all that baggage. Not all of it is yourself anyway, let others carry their own . Best foot forward now
Best advice you could give yourself, that’s as it should be for you! You have enough trials in life with your own stroke; you don’t need to take on theirs and give yourself another stroke!
You have to look out for number one now, that is you! No one else can do that for you. The outside world can’t see what effect all their stresses have on you, and you can’t afford to take on the negative influences of others.
So you need to learn to leave them well outside your front door, do not invite their troubles into your safe place, your home.
Try to make this year your year for looking forward to life and leave the past behind. There’s nothing you can do about that now, it’s all water under the bridge. Anything you can’t fix personally, doesn’t directly involve you, is way in the past, then just put them in your mental filing cabinet, shut the drawers and lock them. Put the key on your mental shelf and allow it gather dust. And if anyone tries to open the drawers before you’re ready, slam it shut again…if they happen to trap a metaphorical finger in it, they’ll know better next time
Anything you can’t fix or deal with today you put in your minds pending tray and forget about it 'til nearer the time.
Break things down and compartmentalise them. And only deal with one thing a day if you can.
And start eating, that weight is way too low in my view…you’ll get blown away in a strong gust…you need more of an anchor for living in Scotland
I know it’s not funny but I feel you do need more laughter in your life. The more the better for anxiety and depression, it is good therapy
Thank you @EmeraldEyes I’ve had 6 sessions so far with a neuropsychologist to help unpack with all the unresolved traumas in my file and repressed emotions. The neuropsychologist said we can’t simply just lock up all this events in a mental box. Each issue needs to be addressed first, and I need to express how they made me feel.
She discovered that whenever something happens to me that upsets me I repressed my emotions. After a while all the emotions bubble up to the surface and result in anxiety attacks.
We are also working on helping me find ways to tackle my depression. I’m trying to get involved in community activities so that I don’t end up isolating myself.
I’m so glad you are getting the right help, talking it out is a vital process to recovery and your neuropsychologist knows best how that should be done. And knowing your full history and your journey to date, she is the best qualified to arm and empower you with the right “tools” going forward when the time comes. Just don’t try to rush it or come off medications too soon when are further down the line in the future.
(Sometimes I know what I want to say I can’t figure out how to word it…so frustrating)
But, remember one thing, you are a very strong woman and you should be proud of that. Build on that and strength from that knowledge. You have actually overcome so, so much just in the these few years of your stroke. And even after all you’ve been through over last Christmas you are still fighting.
Thank you @EmeraldEyes for your encouraging words. Ever since my stroke I’ve gone a lot of reading on traumas and mental health issues.
I’ve a massive pain of the Canadian author Gabor Mate and also listen to a lot of podcast interviews. A few weeks after my stroke my sister thought than tough love was the answer to deal with what I was going though. I was so upset after scrolling through the Internet I came across an article about positive toxicity. This made me understand that sometimes it’s okay not to feel okay.
I’m listening at the moment to another podcast episode, three years later by a neuroscienist Dr Caroline Leaf. She talks about how harmful toxic positivity can be on the brain. And that it prevents prole from having authentic connections with other people.
I’ve added a link to a YouTube video where she discusses toxic positivity.
I just about managed dinner, but I had no inclination or much energy to anything else. And I just wanted to sleep! I felt I could very well have slept the rest of the day if I’d let myself. I did take a nap but couldn’t sleep anyway. But that’s how I felt for the remainder of the day.
