Joy, you have been through too much now 
it’s time to move on without all that baggage. Not all of it is yourself anyway, let others carry their own 
. Best foot forward now 
Best advice you could give yourself, that’s as it should be for you! You have enough trials in life with your own stroke; you don’t need to take on theirs and give yourself another stroke!
You have to look out for number one now, that is you! No one else can do that for you. The outside world can’t see what effect all their stresses have on you, and you can’t afford to take on the negative influences of others.
So you need to learn to leave them well outside your front door, do not invite their troubles into your safe place, your home.
Try to make this year your year for looking forward to life and leave the past behind. There’s nothing you can do about that now, it’s all water under the bridge. Anything you can’t fix personally, doesn’t directly involve you, is way in the past, then just put them in your mental filing cabinet, shut the drawers and lock them. Put the key on your mental shelf and allow it gather dust. And if anyone tries to open the drawers before you’re ready, slam it shut again…if they happen to trap a metaphorical finger in it, they’ll know better next time 
Anything you can’t fix or deal with today you put in your minds pending tray and forget about it 'til nearer the time.
Break things down and compartmentalise them. And only deal with one thing a day if you can.
And start eating, that weight is way too low in my view…you’ll get blown away in a strong gust…you need more of an anchor for living in Scotland
I know it’s not funny but I feel you do need more laughter in your life. The more the better for anxiety and depression, it is good therapy
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Thank you @EmeraldEyes I’ve had 6 sessions so far with a neuropsychologist to help unpack with all the unresolved traumas in my file and repressed emotions. The neuropsychologist said we can’t simply just lock up all this events in a mental box. Each issue needs to be addressed first, and I need to express how they made me feel.
She discovered that whenever something happens to me that upsets me I repressed my emotions. After a while all the emotions bubble up to the surface and result in anxiety attacks.
We are also working on helping me find ways to tackle my depression. I’m trying to get involved in community activities so that I don’t end up isolating myself.
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I’m so glad you are getting the right help, talking it out is a vital process to recovery and your neuropsychologist knows best how that should be done. And knowing your full history and your journey to date, she is the best qualified to arm and empower you with the right “tools” going forward when the time comes. Just don’t try to rush it or come off medications too soon when are further down the line in the future.
(Sometimes I know what I want to say I can’t figure out how to word it…so frustrating)
But, remember one thing, you are a very strong woman and you should be proud of that. Build on that and strength from that knowledge. You have actually overcome so, so much just in the these few years of your stroke. And even after all you’ve been through over last Christmas you are still fighting.
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Thank you @EmeraldEyes for your encouraging words. Ever since my stroke I’ve gone a lot of reading on traumas and mental health issues.
I’ve a massive pain of the Canadian author Gabor Mate and also listen to a lot of podcast interviews. A few weeks after my stroke my sister thought than tough love was the answer to deal with what I was going though. I was so upset after scrolling through the Internet I came across an article about positive toxicity. This made me understand that sometimes it’s okay not to feel okay.
I’m listening at the moment to another podcast episode, three years later by a neuroscienist Dr Caroline Leaf. She talks about how harmful toxic positivity can be on the brain. And that it prevents prole from having authentic connections with other people.
I’ve added a link to a YouTube video where she discusses toxic positivity.
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It’s always okay to not feel ok!
Because if you ignore the wound, smile and pretend it’s ok, it get infected, then the gangrene sets in and the leg falls off!
Oh how I hate these sort of mind games 
Positive toxicity 
That’s a classic strategy for painting over the cracks…until the day does come when the whole building just collapses in on itself!
Don’t talk to me of that clap trap 
Those kind of old fashioned beliefs are from the last century and guarantee a broken mind to stays broken. That’s definitely one that needs to stay in the last century and be forgotten.
You’ve got a good life here, a strong man beside you, I hope he gets his blood pressure under control soon. That’s the thing with pressure, it does affect your mood and temperament and your sleep when it’s high, they’re the warning signs! If ignored then it becomes a viscous cycle of mood swings, temper tantrums, anxiety and stress as the pressure rises. Don’t let it go bang! You need him as much as he needs you.
You have a good network of people with all the right skills sets to help heal your mind. Stay positive, you’re strong, you know you will get better, it’s just a matter of time and you’ve got time! Its good talking to you 
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