How did having a stroke affect your life going forward?
I think for me life is different but not all bad. I have returned to work but itās a constant challenge & I work part time now. My walking isnāt great & that affects many things I do & fatigue does get in the way. I prefer my slower pace of life nowā¦was far too busy before although did enjoy it.
How have you been affected?
1 Like
My stroke has ruined my life. Before I was active doing dance classes, walking well, had no fear of driving long distances, shopping, going abroad for holidays etc etc.
I am driving locally but really everything else has stopped. Holidays are now taken in this country after our accommodation has been thoroughly investigated to make sure itās suitable, shopping is done on line, and country walks are impossible.
Yes ok I am still alive, I can talk and donāt think I have memory problems so I suppose I should be grateful but this was not what my husband and I expected in our retirement. Sorry if I sound depressing but those are the facts!
11 Likes
Stroke is definitely a life changing event. I rarely drive these daysā¦used to go all over the place especially with work. I online shop too. Got used to it now so donāt really miss shops but I do miss just being able to pop out when I want / need to. Holidays are definitely much more difficult & take a lot of research. I do still get abroad though using all the assistance available. Hope youāre doing ok xx
5 Likes
Iām just feeling sorry for myself but obviously a stroke affects anyone going forwards. Life is a continual challenge even picking up something from the floor is often difficult/impossible. Going out for a meal requires planning, as Ann says popping out to the shop or anything on the spur of the moment is a no no.
Yes Ann Iām doing okish. Walking short distances outside with a stick but the fact remains life will never go back to how it was
5 Likes
A horrific change of life, but you know what, I am learning to embrace it though I can barely walk. I have discovered so many therapies that science can acknowledge but not explain. Recently I discovered Red Light Therapy, which science can partly explain, and itās a game changer. However, I am in Kos on holiday, and discovered a Thai couple who are experts on massage. What they do defies scientific explanation. Today, with pressure on my foot (reflexology) they slowed down my heart instantly, another technique had my circulation boosted, etc. My Radiologist friend says we know it can be done, but science cannot explain it. All my therapies are thanks to āthinking outside the boxā and really limited only by my imagination.
Iām a barely walking wreck, but, God willing, I will build back better & stronger. Wishing all survivors breakthroughs and conquests. Bless you all, Ciao from Sunny Kos, Roland
7 Likes
I was on a path
Stroke took me to a new landscape.
I live with deficits that Iām slowly improving
I was right handed - But not anymore. I canāt walk more than about 50 m with a rest but I manage. My emotions and fatigue have been affected.
I could say it as half empty I prefer to see it as half full
Iāve a professional life time of experience and skills
Iāve a passion for applying my skills to the shortcomings I experienced when āteleportatedā to this alien landscape.
Iāve got purpose plus passion plus time plus ā¦
I wouldnāt have wanted to have a stroke I donāt want anybody else to have one but the silver linings are at least equal to the losses and may even surpass them in time
3Ā¢
8 Likes
Stroke has been devastating but life altering for the better.
a had a stroke this january at 33 (my Birthday happens a couple of days lol ). I worked two jobs, I play football 1/2 times A week, going out and travel. It put me into a standstill because I could not walk and talk. my mind and emotions were all over the place.
over the weeks of recovery I can walk gradually but it is a journey. my talking and writing is improving. I have had lovely advice with members forum my anxiety. it is life altering because this recovery journey is a marathon. I had times of frustration asking āwhy me at such an ageā but the time has helped me to realise that we are gifted and will get better in time.
how are u feeling? with the community you are not alone and hope u are okay xx
7 Likes
My stroke has ruined not only my life but the lives of my husband and our 3 grown up children. I suffered a hemorrhagic stroke 7 years ago which paralysed my left side and I am now totally dependent on my husband, which even after 7 years, I still struggle to come to terms with and constantly feel guilty about the way my stroke has affected our family.
Having said that, I have improved since my stroke and we travel abroad and regularly socialise with family and friends, which all involves doing lots of research before visiting somewhere new.
I really miss being independent and doing my own thing when I want to, driving and going to work. All very simple things that we all take for granted.
Apologies for the pity party but Iām just being honest.
Regards Sue
7 Likes
Hi Sue
Do you think you have properly grieved the old you such that you can move on to enjoy the new you?
Thereās a lot of wisdom around that says after the shock comes anger and alongside both his resistance or denial, lack of acceptance and overlapping but mainly after acceptance is healing and health and growth
3Ā¢
5 Likes
Hi Simon, I definitely havenāt finished grieving the old me but not sure how to deal with this going forward. I had 7 weeks of counselling a couple of years ago, which was helpful at the time but worked out to be a short term fix.
I hate being so negative and try not to share my feelings with anyone, so opened up on this amazing forum where everyone understands where Iām coming from.
Thanks everyone for making it possible for me to open up.
Regards Sue
7 Likes
Hi Sue
There are grief counsellors whom one presumes know how to chart the journey. GP might be a source of referral in the first place on the grounds of mental health?
I share what I imagine is what you mean about the hating the negatives instead of the positives. Itās hard to relentlessly see the glass half full when your emotions are recognising that that is also half empty. Thatās a position of outlook and one that is only partially subject to conscious and partially subject to subconscious emotional response.
Itās a tricky question about how you navigate emotional states. I donāt think thereās enough understanding of those aspects.
Caio
Simon
PS whatās amazing here is the community which should be distinguished from the forum; one is mechanism and the other is camaraderie with people with whom we share empathy.
3 Likes
Hi Sue. Yes I too hate being dependent on my husband who is now doing the bulk of the household chores. My left hand is pretty useless so as I walk with a stick in my right hand there are quite a lot of things that I canāt do. Know what you mean about socialising. No more just deciding to stop at an unknown pub or coffee shop. Everything has to be researched before hand.
We havenāt ventured abroad and I donāt think we will. The cost of insurance is prohibitive plus there would always be the fear at the back of my mind of ending up in a foreign hospital !
Unfortunately I am definitely a glass half empty person and even one glass of wine makes me unsteady! 
4 Likes
I think thereās a lot to be said about grieving for the old you before you can move forward & embrace the new you. I know it took me a fair while to start to accept the new me. Some days I think iām doing that ok & other days i seem far from that place.
When iām at home things donāt bother me so much. If I venture out it hits me like a sledge hammer how much I struggle.
I have just made a decision though to purchase a mobility scooter as I feel this will open up a bit more independence for me. Independence I miss the most but I also want to be able to walk more than a few metres without being exhausted & move at a speed quicker than a snail 
i know using a scooter isnāt walking butbif I can scoot up & down the high street I might then have the energy to actually walk around a shop. Hereās hoping at least.
Sending everyone a hug 
xx
10 Likes
Hi Sue
Thank you for your post, your story felt very familiar to me as I feel terribly guilty about the impact of my stroke on my husband and 3 grown up children. I donāt think that I realised quite how disabled I was until I came home from hospital. I felt such a physical and financial drain on my family. I grieved for my life pre- stroke. I am very dependent on my husband and feel anxious if he needs to go out somewhere and unfortunately for both of us he also had a stroke in May this year. However, his stroke seems to have been a fairly mild one thank goodness and he has recovered well but it was a real worry when he became ill. My stroke seems similar to yours, my left side has been affected and I cannot walk and my left arm and hand are hard to move. I am having physiotherapy from my local Community Stroke Team and they have been a lifeline for me. My stroke was 12 months ago and in the last month or so my ability to stand up and transfer from bed to chair without the use of the hoist has improved significantly. I feel very grateful to my physiotherapists for their patience and professional skills. Being able to move from sitting to a standing position has helped me to look forward and to try to stay positive about the future. I wish you the best of luck with your own recovery, keep going I am sure that you will get there and your family will celebrate your achievements. Take care and very best wishes Kind regards Cazza
5 Likes
When I had my stroke - with other complications - I was in an unsuitable two storey house. Now I have to declutter, āright sizeā, and find a bungalow. Physically I am a lot worse than 14 months ago. Itās a major battle but I am enjoying driving an automatic car! Thanks for the question.
5 Likes
Itās drastically changed i can no longer walk on my own my partner had to leave work to be my full time carer,my writing had been affected and i also have ataxia now and i constantly feel drunk,the only way i escaqpe from it is when iām asleep,it happend nearly 2 and a hlf years ago,iāve came such along way it truly is incredible.xx
4 Likes
I had my stroke on 31st october 2009 whilst in France working as a chalet chef and ski guide in the alps.
The first year was especially difficult as I stopped work and struggled with the physical and mental effects.My eyesight was damaged so had to surrender driving licence and sell my car,my motorhome and my motorcycle.I later had to sell the retirement home that I had purchased prior to retirement and had spent time altering to suit my needs.It was remote and I would have needed to drive in order to live there.Throw in depression and shock at what had happened to me and you have an idea of my first 2 years post stroke.
I can remember a conversation that I had with myself 2 years after the stroke in which I made the choice between acceptance of my lot or doing something about seeing what I could still do in terms of hobbies and work.
Flash forward 12 years and I am as adapted as I ever will be,I have remained fit by hiking and skiing part of the winter working part season doing some cooking,chalet maintenance.I balance work with frequent rest to cope with the fatigue that many of us suffer post stroke.
I have been able with planning to access activities and destinations using public transport and coaches.
I spent most of june hiking,camping and fly fishing for wild brown trout in a beautiful wild part of NW Scotland having travelled there and back on a mixture of coaches and buses.
Th esr
troke has affected my life going forward ,in that there have been ,and still are,obstacles to overcome.My confidence to overcome them has been boosted by my succeeding in little steps,and learning to manage myself in terms of rest and doing things in short bursts at times when I feel most able.
We cannot change the past and what has happened to us but we can influence how we cope with it and improve our future.
I wish you good luck on your future.
Best wishes Tony
6 Likes
Hi Apple. I know where your coming from. I too was very active, and I used to go abroad a lot. I used my car every day and drove every where. My stroke put paid to all that, I no longer go abroad (in fact I donāt holiday anywhere). I no longer drive and have just started walking with a stick after a few years of being on a walker to get around. I no longer speak as well as I used to and have to think about what im saying. My stroke has definitely changed my life but on the bright side ( Im Sure you know what I mean) WE are still here - so it could be worse and when I look at how some people are affected - I appreciate how lucky I am. I know its hard but make the most of what you have got and hopefully look on the bright side. I hope you recover soon. Mike.
6 Likes
It changes your life no doubt.
It changes your outlook on things
It changes your own perception of your immortality.
I was lucky in sense of not physically disabling to a point.
I was full on active pre stroke. Post stroke fatigued. Cannot exercise as much.
I tend to drive locally on own but with someone for any distance.
People see me and tell me to āmove onā āpush through itā, ādont let it beat meā and the best one ā i know someone who had a stroke and they pushed through and are perfectly normal nowā.
5 Likes