Hi Russ, Thanks for your support
The blame thing is so tough, especially when we feel family need to help us mentally as well as physically. I’m lacking any sort of confidence with driving at the moment but you’re right, we didn’t ask for this, and it isn’t a punishment.
Did you see Ann’s comments about the online group that meets? I’m hoping to join as another way to feel part of something positive. Similarly maybe if you can get the GP to refer you for some support, it can be online or by phone?
After having a difficult day with anxiety today, I’ve been reading a book called ‘The Chimp Paradox’ which was actually recommended by the pharmacist when I was on the stroke ward. It’s not specifically about anxiety but the bits I’ve read so far help explain why I’m getting into fight or flight so readily, especially since the stroke and how to calm the ‘chimp’ inside me. I just wondered if anyone else had read it?
Most GPs are very supportive but lets be honest they don"t really know squat about brain injury bless 'em. the people who know the most are fellow survivors and as most of these replies say the worry and anxiety is the worst part. It can be hard not to let every little twinge feel like its ground zero 2.0 but chances are it isn’t so I’ll give you the best advice I got from a fellow survivor in the early weeks after my stroke. eat well sleep often and exercise (if you can). keep the brain engaged with work, or better still reading and remember how brilliant your brain is.
go steady x
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your stroke.
I’m pleased to see you’ve been offered lots of support from our amazing community! As you’ll have seen anxiety is common after having a stroke and it’s great to hear you’re going to be getting some help with this through CBT. We do also have some information on our website about anxiety after stroke which you may find helpful to read if you haven’t already.
I hope you’ll find this community helpful for your recovery, if you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Thanks for the guidance and positivity. I’m finding the reading helps as does anything that I have to think about like wordle etc. I’ve found housework doesn’t help in the sense that my mind wanders during ironing etc. I’m currently trying to almost do a running commentary whilst I do jobs! I’m sleeping OK from about 11 to 4 but find it difficult to settle fully again and this often starts me off again in the early hours which can make breakfast hard. But I’m taking solace from the great comments from the group and it’s helping get both ideas and perspective.
Hello David, I’m sorry to hear about your stroke. Like you, I am physically fine - however I suffer with acute GAD so I can empathise with you. And I understand that you want to talk to your GP(s) everyday, just for reassurance. I can only say that it WILL get better, not straight away, but it will eventually. I belong to No Panic, which helps me a lot with my anxiety etc. I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to mention it on here, so I apologise if it’s not.
But I have found a lot of support from this forum, and with the SA Zoom meetings . And ring the SA helpline everyday if that’s what you need.
Thanks for taking the time to write Zelda, and to hear your experience is reassuring to hear. Glad to find out you are doing better and that the SA groups are helping. I plan to come to some of the meetings online when I feel a bit more sociable.
I’m afraid that, once again, we seem to be confronted with a “lucky dip” sort of approach to the care we receive. Now I was one of the lucky ones as it happens and after spending one night in hospital ( I have severe vision and less serious balance problems but am otherwise functional!) but a practitioner came to see me at home every weekday for four weeks, then it went to a phone call until, after three months, I was discharged but with a 24/7 phone number to call if I had any worries. But, as I said, I know I was lucky. And some of the experiences others on here have had are terrible!
All I can suggest, in my clumsy way, is never be afraid to lean on friends and relatives. If they object then they were never real friends, relatives we’re all stuck with!
There’s nothing wrong with mentioning No Panic on here as many on here are suffering similar issues and this could be a very useful tip for them. So I hope you don’t mind, I took the liberty of looking them up and posted the link to No Panic below Thank you for this valuable contribution, I hope others find it as helpful as you do
Lorraine
No Panic is a registered charity that helps and supports those living with Panic Attacks, Phobias, Obsessive Compulsive Disorders and other related anxiety disorders. No Panic also provides support for the carers of people who suffer from anxiety disorders.
Hello David,
I’d my TIA mid July + like you, left with very few issues. Also like you, my anxieties were unbearable, i was terrified. The point being, I’ve calmed down a lot, by understanding it’s very common following a stroke. Also, breathing exercises + podcasts on anxiety have helped a lot. Ive started to go out, just not far, but baby steps. You will find this group extremely supportive, knowledgeable + empathic. All the very best.
Hi Peter - It absolutely is a lottery Sadly, and I expect I (we) are not alone when I say that even with friend and relatives it is hit and miss. So many of our friends and relatives have gone underground. But that is life and we get on with it.
I must also say that whilst we the friends and relatives have gone underground and choose to remain so, we are lucky to have found a whole host of new (virtual) friends on this forum, for which we are truly grateful
Thanks and I hope your progress continues. I think I tried to do too much too soon. I went for a follow up MRI scan today and it has left me wiped out and terrified again. It seems so up and down.
Hi Peter, I’m glad you have good support. I had visits at home for just over a week and they nearly always helped me mentally as well as checking in physically but after they stopped I’ve definitely found the mental side the most challenging. I do wonder if this could have been lessened with a phone call a day. I agree with speaking with friends. They are often the conversations that help the most.
Hi David - i was 56y when i suffered my major stroke without any underlying conditions. 4y on, I am still left with some physical and mental disabilities. We seem to be of similar ages and I fully understand how you are feeling. I still feel guilty for being a burden on my family. My GP was no where to be found!! You are lucky with yours. I had to struggle to find private mental health therapy which did not help. Peopl keep telling me to be grateful for getting a second chance and be happy , happy!! This really bugs me! As there was nothing wrong with my first chance/ pre-stoke life!!
Welcome to the group but as always sorry we had to to meet you under these circumstances. I had horrific anxiety after my Stroke and whilst it has reduced its still there. For example I am terrified of driving now. Was never an issue before the Stroke. I have forced myself to drive but only go to places I know, never in rush hour and never at night. Wife has now become my chauffeur. I also had it around work, health etc so I fully understand what you are going through. Counselling helped though so highly recommend
Yes, I go in swings and roundabouts feeling lucky compared to others, to wondering why me and what could I have done to prevent it? All pointless worries for me now, but maybe guidance I could give my kids! And I’m still finding it hard to reflect and plan when before the stroke this year seemed all laid out.
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Yes, it sounds like we have had similar experiences. With hindsight my first drive on my own was probably too soon from a confidence point of view as although the journey was uneventful in one sense, I didn’t appreciate how much nervous energy I’d expended. I was so excited on the day as it seemed like a step back to 'normality. I’m having to take things much steadier since the anxiety kicked in but I suspect like you, I’ll stick to what I know in the first instance.
Thank you for this valuable contribution, I hope others find it as helpful as you do 
Sadly, and I expect I (we) are not alone when I say that even with friend and relatives it is hit and miss. So many of our friends and relatives have gone underground. But that is life and we get on with it.
& 
