Hello all, my name is David, I’m 58 and I suffered a stroke at the end of July. In lots of ways I have been incredibly lucky as I seem to have been left physically fine. However I was suffering with severe anxiety at the time of the stroke, and since then I have found it mentally a huge struggle. I seem to go backwards and forwards with irrational worries about health and once I seem to resolve them I go back to worrying about anything else that pops into my head. I’ve been referred for CBT and a clinical psychologist so I know that’s a step forward but I’m finding it all so tough to deal with, especially as I feel guilty all the time for landing it with my family, who are busy with so many other things. My GP practice have been very supportive but I almost feel like I need to chat with them every day.
@Lambliesdown
There is still way more support needed for stroke survivors. The only people in my opinion who understand are other stroke survivors, no one else has a clue. Regarding any counselling, not everyone wants to open up to a stranger and have them dig into their personal life and make judgments of them, also recording their opinions on notes which then end up on their medical file, only for others to them comment.. That’s why I find on this forum is much easier. No one is judging, no notes, no negative opinions and it available 24/7. However, I also respect that some people do not mind wearing their heart on their sleeve and telling all to strangers, which is fine for them, but don’t push me to do it, which was happening when I had a stroke and it made me pull way back. I am a closed book and only open when I want to. I wish you well and good luck 
You do what is right for you 
Thank you for the kind words, and I can already see when looking through the group, lots of people who seem to have / have had a similar situation. I think you are right, and I’m so glad I’ve found this group.
ANXIETY IS THE PART OF STROKE,but do not feel guilty for your family.this group is ready to help all stroke survivors.
Thanks
Hello David - Welcome to the community. This community is all things to all. It can serve you as you wish and there are no pressures or commitments. Everything is done to your timescales and your wishes. You can research topics for historical posts/chats or you can start a new topic/chat or even resurrect an old topic that may have become dormant. We may be strangers but in the main we’re a friendly bunch and willing to share and help. No one will force anything on you - it’s your choice whether to advice that is offered or decline.
Whatever it is that is troubling you and that has brought you here is almost something that others have experienced and in most cases it is not something that you need to worry about - being aware of it will help you deal with it but worrying about it will almost certainly do you no good.
It is great you are getting good support from your GP practice and long may it continue. Many are not so fortunate as you as GPs as well as other services tend to vary significantly depending on where you live, how old you are, the severity of your stroke etc.
Make the most of what you’ve got and do not feel guilt over what has happened to you. You did not choose to inflict this on yourself or your family - no one does this by choice, it just happens. Yes, family might be busy with other things but that is no different whether you need help/support as a stroke survivor or as a non-stroke survivor. In my experience, family and friends help as much as they can, when they can.
As a stroke survivor you may get help and support from others such as support groups, the Stroke Association, this forum etc. Use it as you wish.
You will likely get a lot of information and advice, but the best advice and information you will get is from your own body and if you listen to that and act upon it you will do well 
Wishing you all the best.
Namaste|
Welcome @Lambliesdown, you’re really not alone in struggling mentally after a stroke, as I’m sure you’ve seen. Your comment about feeling guilty for your family struck a chord with me - one of the first things I said to my wife when I called her from the hospital was “I’m sorry”, as if it was my decision to have a TIA. But like most of us I didn’t want to cause a fuss, I wanted to be strong and in control, and actually what I really needed to do was to understand that I was vulnerable and in need of help. It’s the most natural thing in the world for your family to want to help you, and definitely nothing to feel guilty about.
Joining this community and understanding more about stroke and its aftermath has really helped me come to terms with what happened, though I’ve also tried to better understand my personal risks by getting a comprehensive medical checkup as well. This wasn’t something that I could get on the NHS, and I recognise that I’m very fortunate to have the means to have it done privately, but it has made an enormous difference to my peace of mind. Knowledge is power.
By the way, as an old prog rock fan I have to say, I love the user name you’ve chosen 
I’m glad someone has spotted the relevance of the name:ram:
. Thanks for the thoughtful reply. Oddly I’m finding it hard to listen to music at the moment. Almost as though I don’t want to link records I love to the situation!
I had been doing really well in terms of MH when everything was improving in a linear fashion. But on the day I drove again, my BP went up slightly - but an emotional response got ahead of a rational response and since then it’s been a bit of a roller coaster of worries. But it’s left me cautious about driving, even though physically there is no issue, hence a bit trapped at home, in the cage. Again that makes me feel a bit guilty even writing that as I can see at a glance the challenges so many others are facing. Anyway, sorry for going on, but it has helped me just writing these posts. I must be feeling a little better this afternoon as I’ve snuck in another LLDOB reference that you might spot 
I did notice it , and you’ve got me listening to the album right now, first time in years. Hang in there, it does get easier eventually, though it feels like counting out time 
@Lambliesdown hi & welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your stroke & the anxiety you are suffering. You will see from reading posts on this forum that it is quite normal. Your brain has suffererd an injury & what was normal once isn’t right now. Things often settle in time. Be kind to yourself in the meantime. Try not to feel guilty about what happened. I’m pretty sure you didn’t want it to happen. It is just one of life’s mysteries as to why some of us get ill and others don’t. I still apologise to my hubby now, although I am getting better at not doing.
It is good that you have a supportive GP and you can use this forum to help with advice & queries or just to get things out there. The Stroke Association also offer a here for you service where they can match you with someone who has been through verh similar to you & they give you a call once a week to discuss whatever you want to discuss. You can find out more Here
They also have online activities jncluding peer support sessions which may be of interest. You can find out more Here
Look forward to hearing how you are getting on.
Best wishes
Ann
Thanks Ann, that’s useful to know. I’ve signed up for both so hopefully they help. I seem much better when I’m talking, but in the quiet lonely moments I catastrophise everything currently . I’m still apologising daily to family as I can’t help but feel a load on them as I’m often so down about things. Pre stroke I’ve always come out of these episoses of anxiety so I hopefully the same applies
Glad the links were useful. Hopefully they will help and you have nothing to lose by trying.
Your emotions and feelings will be all over the place right now but they will settle. It is still very early days for you yet. Most of us have been there and most of us report improvements.
I attended the online activities at the start of my stroke journey and I found them really useful & the beauty is that you can dip in and out as suits.
Hope your anxieties settle soon for you.
Ann
Thank you for these helpful words. I’m sure I will refer back to them, and already I’m getting so much support from people with real insight into the bumps in the road. Its quite humbling to see people taking the time to reply and I hope I can pay it back when I’ve got a bit more objectivity
Lambsliesdown, it’s hard and looking at this feel there is so much good advice being given, today I read my discharge letter from my own most recent stay in hospital. I’ve crashed and burned through anxiety. I on the outside seem physically fine with no lasting effects and can drive. Due to this rushed headlong back to “normality” including work.
Six months down that route find I’m at day one again, I ignored my body telling me to stop and wait a minute,this is due to being powered by fear , anxiety and determination which is not a good mix.
I’m learning to relax and rely on other for a bit as I’m a carer for parents and my job is in care- look after children to a very young skilled person to ask - who is looking after you?
I struggle to articulate at times - have the gift of being neuro diverse as well so can get tired and overwhelmed by this all and then agitation and its friend anxiety tag team me.
Slowly I’m learning to talk- here is a great and safe space we all survived this horrible thing, so take time , heal well, and remember you are not alone.
Hello David - you’re welcome and I am sure you have already started helping others by sharing your experiences with us on this forum. We learn from each other and there are no obligations or commitments
Btw I did notice the Genesis link - I don’t believe I have listened to this album, though I may have it in my collection. I used to buy records but never had the time to listen to most of them. The first “Prog Rock” track of Genesis I heard was Suppers Ready from Foxtrot. I knew Genesis from their “pop” singles and it wasn’t until a friend of mine introduced me to “proper” music that I came across this type of music.
Nice meeting you.
Take care.
@Lambliesdown
Hi David I had my stroke at the end of May and can identify with a lot of what you wrote.
I too have found it hard dealing with the anxiety, guilt and catastrophising post stroke.
I am learning so much from others on this forum and would urge you to keep writing and asking questions. I too felt I had so many questions I needed to ask the doctors and found it frustrating having to. I have found the answers come in time and getting all the answers at once can lead to brain overload, which is definately something to avoid this early on in your recovery.
One of the hardest things I have had to learn and still learning, is patience and letting go of your worries. A stroke is a scary thing and can bring you face to face with your mortality and how fragile life can be. Take time to sit with and acknowledge whatever feelings come up without judgement or self reproach.
None of us asked to get ill or to feel like a burden on our loved ones, but they are our loved ones because they love us through good and bad times. Allowing your family to support you through your stroke, is allowing them to show their love for you, accept it and pay it back by loving them for it.
All the best on your recovery journey.
Hi David–After my stroke I had a lot of anxiety, too. I saw a therapist for a couple of months. She really helped me by giving me positive statements to repeat to myself whenever i felt anxious. It may seem silly to talk to yourself this way, but it actually works because much of anxiety and worry about health, etc. bubbles up from the subconscious mind, which can be programmed, like a computer. So, I would have sentences like: "I’ve felt this feeling before and it will go away soon, and I will feel better. " “This feeling cannot hurt me in any way and is just a temporary nuisance. " .” I have good health care, and I am getting better every day. " Whenever I got a scary or upsetting thought, I would replace it with a positive “mantra”. Eventually, over time, my subconcsious mind “listened” to what it was being told and calmed down. Try making up a few positive “mantras” of your own and use them often, even when you’re not anxious. Your subconscious mind needs it. 
Jeanne
Thanks Jeanne, what you say about the subconscious rings true, it’s almost like it’s deliberately winding me up with thoughts that are at best unlikely and often just not true. I think a therapist will hopefully help me get more of a grip on these thoughts and your suggestions are great as I definitely need to focus on the positive ‘now’
Thanks, and best wishes as you get through this too. Yep, really struggling with the patience as although I was suffering with anxiety before the stroke, when I had a good week and this coincided with being allowed to drive, I thought all would be back to normal. But I hadn’t noticed that the anxiety was still there and ready to pounce on any unhelpful thought, whether stroke related or not. And it sure has done. So I feel like I’m juggling two issues really but this group has been a godsend in helping me see things with a bit more objectivity, given the experiences of others.
Nice meeting you too and glad to read you too had spotted the link . Like you I’d heard Supper’s Ready and although I never saw the band in that era, they were still brilliant to see even in the ‘pop’ days!
David
I’m also 58 and also feel guiltyfor putting my family through this. We didn’t ask for this, it’s not our fault, I’m looking for counselling myself ,I feel I need to talk to a professional ,I cant drive or walk far and my wife works so getting to meetings is hard. Good luck with your journey
Russ