I asked my partner what he wants for dinner. He said no food ever. Hes had enough.
What shall I do ?
He might be ok tomorrow
I asked my partner what he wants for dinner. He said no food ever. Hes had enough.
What shall I do ?
He might be ok tomorrow
Get some evening sun outside?
He wont go out
ive just took the son out. His idea.
When got back he said this
He may very well be okay to eat a main meal tomorrow. Sometimes soup in a cup is ideal to keep nutrients going in when the appetite for the ordeal of solids is low. In Summer, I tend to have my soup cold.
I occasionally miss a day of eating because I’m just not in the mood for it. Other times I will graze on radishes, ripe tomato, cheese, celery &c. It seems to satisfy me until I am ready for a cooked meal.
After stroke you can get some very unrealistic ideas.
Pre-stroke had you any idea of what life after stroke is like?,
Now post-stroke you only know your immediate experience.
In actual fact you can only guess and it is quite easy to guess wrong.
Because of this it is best to just take each day as it comes.
Some days it can be terrifying. On others it can seem a huge joke.
No one around you knows either.
It is very different from what you have always taken for granted.
You will move forward, no one travels back in time except in their dreams. Deal with life as best as you are able. You will begin find you can cope, deal with the problems and so on.
There is a lot of experience in this forum, ask questions, visit frequently.
I can’t promise you an easy trouble free route but don’t give up.
keep on keepin on
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Thank you for all of this
I have been following your story since you joined and I know you are having a tough time. It’s hard for me to make any suggestions as I don’t know your partner or you well enough. I can go by my experience as a carer but even that seems to very different to your experience and so what I would suggest would not likely work for you. Your partner comes across as very different in temperament to my Mum and whilst caring for Mum was not that difficult as she was always very understanding and aware of the challenges she faced and the challenges we faced as her carers.
Whilst there were some difficult times, they were short-lived as Mum always returned to her natural relaxed and stoic self. We could talk to her and we knew where we stood and she rarely had mood swings or maybe never had mood swings like what I am detecting from your posts and maybe I am misreading this.
One thing we did and which was easy for us because of the way Mum is was accept and respect her wishes. So when she said she didn’t want to do something, we accepted it and respected it, knowing that she knew what was best for her.
All I can suggest is that perhaps, as hard as it is for you, maybe you should accept that your partner is capable of making decisions and they should be respected. There are consequences but he has to accept the responsibility. At the end of the day, he might just say things on the spur of the moment, through frustration such as he never wants to eat again. This might be just a short term venting his frustrations and so as has been said by others, tomorrow he may be back to his usual self and will have his meals.
I don’t know how much your partner depends on others for help, but if he can do things for himself maybe he just needs time on his own. So you and your son should leave him on his own and do things for yourself. Don’t forget, you must look after yourself and your son and you should not allow yourself to worry too much about things like your partner saying he does not want to eat.
Give yourself a break and accept things for what they are.
You’ve said it yourself,
Go with this. Don’t worry about things that are out of your control. You are doing all you can and there is nothing more you can do. It’s not fair on yourself to put so much pressure and responsibility on yourself. Let your partner accept some responsibility.
As a carer, there is only so much you can do and I am sure you are doing that already. Please don’t run yourself down. You know your partner and you know what he needs to do.
Be nice to yourself and think of your son too - I don’t mean this to come across as horrible, but your partner should be allowed to do as he wishes and maybe he just needs some time to think things through.
I hope tomorrow is a new beginning for you ![]()
Thank you for this.
Its just if I take my boy out for the day.
I dont want my partner to feel like hes alone ![]()
It’s probably OK to do this. He might need time to grieve about his condition. Things will slowly pick up after that.
Just letting you know he had 4 weetabixs just now
And we’re going to the beach with my friend and her little girl. And McDonald’s
There you go ![]()
Nothing to worry about - when he’s hungry he’ll eat and when he’s thirsty he will drink.
Keep cool in the sun and keep well hydrated.
Remember, give your partner space when he needs it. It may seem natural for you to keep offering help or asking if he needs something, but try holding back - let him do the asking. Leave him on his own, go into another room with your son and let you partner know you are wound and he should call out if he needs something.
Let him do the work - be there for him but only if he asks for help or if he is in trouble and needs help. You will recognise the signs. Be aware of the ups and downs and accept these things happen. His brain is having to reorganise and needs time and good nourishment. Try and get him to do some exercises to get some oxygen into his brain - deep breathing through the nose and out through the mouth. Only need to do this for a couple of minutes and he can do it anywhere.
Have a lovely day and enjoy the beach outing ![]()
@Clairekirby1990 , oh excellent. It’s part of what he’s going through. He’ll go through peaks and troughs in terms of mood swings. Like a few people have said, don’t force him to eat. Also, make sure he takes his time eating. Oh, and stay hydrated in this steaming hot weather. Hope things are good your end.
Keep us posted with your story, be kind to yourselves.
We love good news but understand that sometimes it can be difficult.
Best wishes and stay in touch.
When you say “he might be OK tomorrow”, it sounds like this something that has happened before. Does he often say this sort of thing, or is it out of character? Is there a possibility he might be depressed? If so he might need to visit his GP.
That’s how my hubby and kids felt about leaving me at home whilst they went off to enjoy a Madness concert. I was just as content to sit at alone. At lot of my early post stroke life was like this. They got on with their lives as normal, it was like I was in a bubble. But that was just fine for me, it was what I needed back then. And to honest, it was such a damn mental trial for me when I had to re-enter real life for gp checks, dentist, even go for a walk. I was at my most content when left alone, and to do things at my own pace.
But as I’ve said before, my feelings and emotions were switched off, so I never felt one way or the other about anything. I suspect your hubby could be experiencing something similar, and to be honest, that can take years to reawaken, it did for me.
But also, we are having a heatwave! You don’t want to eat, you don’t even want to move in the hight of the heat. Get some electrolyte tablets to put in his water.
Electrolytes are essential minerals—like sodium, potassium, and magnesium—that carry an electric charge when dissolved in fluid. They are critical for regulating your body’s fluid balance, supporting nerve signals, and enabling proper muscle contractions.
Why You Need Them
Hydration: They pull water into your cells and help your body retain fluids more effectively than plain water alone.
Muscle & Nerve Function: Sodium and potassium manage muscle contractions and relaxations, helping to prevent painful cramps and spasms.
Energy Levels: Magnesium and B-vitamins often paired with electrolytes help manage chemical reactions in the body to reduce fatigue.
Common Causes of Depletion
You lose electrolytes naturally through sweat, heavy exercise, and urine. You can also become depleted due to illness (e.g., vomiting or diarrhea), intense heat exposure, or extended travel.
Common Signs of Imbalance: If you lose too many electrolytes and become dehydrated, you might experience:
Muscle cramps or weakness
Headaches or dizziness
Extreme fatigue
Brain fog or confusion
How to Replenish
While a balanced diet is usually sufficient for everyday life, you may need targeted replenishment if you sweat heavily or are recovering from illness.
Sports Drinks & Powders: Dissolving effervescent tablets (like Science in Sport GO Hydro) or hydration powders (like Liquid I.V.) in water is a highly effective way to replace lost minerals on the go.
Dietary Sources: Natural foods like bananas (potassium), leafy greens (magnesium), and table salt (sodium) are excellent for maintaining baseline levels.
Note: If you are experiencing severe dehydration, prolonged illness, or chronic symptoms, it is best to consult a healthcare provider.
Can he afford to skip meals for a day? If he’s not being particularly active then he’s going to need as much. Just so long as he is drinking plenty and not diabetic! Get him a bar of chocolate a good feel good food, give him a coffee to give him a bit of a stimulant, Ensure or Complan are also excellent at providing nutrients to boost his energy levels.
Most importantly of all, tomorrow’s another day and he’ll be hungry again ![]()
My hubby and I got told off by our son the other day for not eating. I know I’d had a bowl of porridge in the morning, hubby had a piece of toast. We had scrambled egg on toast that evening, but we drank plenty throughout the day. We also slept half the day away and had no energy to do much. But we were at the hight of the heatwave and now it’s a bit cooler we are back to our normal active selves ![]()
Lorraine
And maybe, eventually you can go for avocado on whole meal toast?
Thank you so much for all of this.
Hes definitely had a good day
Thank you. We had a good day out
Hes on antidepressants
Thank you Lorraine.
Thank you for all of this.
Definitely hot weather you do want to eat much.
Today’s been a good day ![]()