Hi All, just wanting to get some feedback on something that is bothering me.
I had my stroke nearly seven years ago and have come a long way with regards how I am now living and managing my life.
Since the turn of the year I have been really down, lethargic, uninterested in hobbies, people or whats going on. Everything is an effort and simply isnt me. My wife talked me into seeing the doctor, still awaiting confirmation of tests to see if there is any underlying issue but the doc seems to think it is depression. Not sure what has brought this on but I am about to undertake some counselling which to be honest isnt me. The other option would be anti depressants, a low dose but still if Im honest scares the life out of me.
Having never taken any medication prior to my stroke I was just wondering if people do take them, do they work or is it a risk?
I need to fix this, it is constantly on my mind.
Any feedback would be appreciatedšš»
Hello Binty,
rather than just pop a pill (that you may know nothing about) try and dig a little deeper within yourself, and address your troubles so that you can start a healing process from the inside rather than outside. What can you change in yourself ā¦ habits, beliefs, interests? Can you identify what it is you are seeking that you cannot quite find? What are you interested in? This is not a simple step, but a profound one that could lead to you finding your own solutions ! Start with small steps.
Good luck, Roland
A few days ago I posted this thread. You might be interested.
I know pulling yourself out of a hole can take a great deal of effort especially when digging deeper seems to be the thing to do.
Many of us have to deal with it. Staying on top is a major occupation. Stroke often has this affect, itās not something you just get over.
This DBT thing is very intensive but I know from personal experience that the techniques it teaches can help to recognise when things are going wrong and also give methods to cope and eventually get on a better level.
No drugs, no relying on another person, are involved. With a little guidance you can begin to deal with things yourself again.
(I believe drugs are a trap that will actually prevent finding answers. Whatever, you must find your own way. Also I am not an enlightened being and like most others I have my own struggles and challenges.)
The post? It is on this forum. I recommend looking at it. Just click the link.
Use this forum to find your feet. You are not alone and very welcome here.
All I can say is that this stuff works, it does require a little effort but it is free and has no nasty side effects. It is also there when you need it.
best wishes
keep on keepin on
Hello Binty - whatās this we have? The Seven Year Itch?
Sorry for my pathetic attempt to lighten things up, but I donāt often get the opportunity to use that one!
With my serious face on, I am 100% in agreement with both @pando and @Bobbi have said. Popping pills is not the answer, especially if you are from the background where you have not gone down that route in the past.
I echo Roland and Bobbiās advice in the full and suggest if you heed their advice, you will more than likely find the answer to the reason for what it is that is bothering you.
Wishing you all the best.
@Binty sorry to hear youāre feeling low. I am no expert but it does sound like you coild be a bit depressed. Pills & counselling arenāt dor everyone but might be worth a try if all else fails.
I agree with @pando about trying to identify the cause. That may involve some deep thinking & being truly honest with yourself. Was there something that triggered it? A life event maybe or has it built up over time & and you just havenāt realised.
If you can work out the root cause then you should be able to start tackling it and start to move through this bad spell.
Wishing you all the best.
Ann
Thanks Mrs5K.
I lost my Dad through a sudden heart attack when I was 14. We were very close, he had just turned 60 and passed away whilst coming out of the doctors having been given a clean bill of health. My family decided to keep me in school that day, I didnt find out until I got home. I think sub conscientiously I have had this in the back if my mind all these years. I turned 60 last month, had a horrible birthday as I simply wasnt in the right mind. I mentioned this to the doctor, I think this is where she got the depression diagnoses. I dont know, may just be a phase I am going through but can honestly say I have never felt so low.
Itās very possible that you are worrying about the same happening to you as it did your dad. It doesnāt necessarily follow that if will and you may still have many many years in front of you.
In my mumās family all of the men died in their 50s. Except my uncle who, despite having untreatable prostate cancer, is still going strong at 84. You just never know.
Try & find some things you enjoy doing to distract your thoughts and help focus on more positive things. Itās not easy and takes lots of practice.
Best wishes
Ann
In my view, anti-depressants should be a last case resort and mainly used for clinical depression. Being aware is the first step of managing a low period. Apathy can be a result of many things, in my experience with patches of depression, the feeling is dark and negative. Before stroke, I never suffered from depression, I felt low or disgruntled but never dark and moody. I take SRRI meds but not for depression, I take them for panic attacks. I struggled with counselling, but for some it is beneficial. Sometimes, taking some time out and not putting pressure on yourself can lead to a brighter mood suddenly surfacing.
Hello @Binty - I wonder now, if we might have found the root cause of the thing that is bothering you. It seems to much of a coincidence when you mentioned what happened to your Dad and how it happened etc.
I can understand this must be a difficult time for you with the memories and the close relationship you had with your Dad.
Who can you talk with about this? Have you siblings or other relatives that knew your Dad and of your relationship.
Whilst not exactly the same as you, I too lost my Dad who was taken away from us too soon. It hit us very hard and we found talking about it and going through the good times and the bad times helped to ease the pain. This was over 20 years ago but even today, we (my sister and I and my Mum) talk about him, remembering the good, the bad and the ugly and these days we just end up laughing about it all.
I should let you know, in case you want to do it and havenāt or canāt, itās OK to cry. I have cried many times when I have though about my Dad and the way we lost him. So if you feel like crying, donāt try to stop, just go ahead and let it all out. You will feel a lot better for it afterwards. In the early days, I used to hurt but as time has past and having talked it through many times, I donāt feel the pain any more. Now all I have is happy memories and when we talk about him now, we always ending up having a laugh.
I hope you too will be able to remember you Dad and think of the happy times you had together.
Take care.
Hello Binty
Iām not wading in on other peoples advice on this, would rather provide you my experience.
I take antidepressants for 3 years, opting for some stronger pills half way through because without it, I feel a lot like you - no passion, no life, no interests, nothing.
With it, I feel alive but not without some encouragement from my wife that is.
So, itās up to you - antidepressants are a winner for me.
M
Hi ManjiB,
Sorry to here about your Dad, you get where I am coming from.
The events all those years ago soured my relationship with my siblings and the decision they made (not my Mum). Later in life I had this conversation with my Mum and she fully understood. Since Mum passed I no longer have contact with my family after yet another toxic fall out and now live the other end of the country with my wife and daughter (who are my world).
I guess that day had a perverse effect on me and I often think back. I have simply been dreading hitting this birthday, maybe that is why my mind is in the mess it is at the minute.
Yes I do cry, often, never used to pre stroke. I believe that this could be another effect of the trauma all of us on this site have been through.
I will get through this, snap out if it or whatever, just that at the moment I feel as low as I have ever been.
Just getting feedback from the lovely people on this site is uplifting, which is good right.
Take care.
Thanks MattJC,
I guess everyone is different. I have taken on board everyones comments, negatives, positives etc. My trouble is I cannot make a decision to save my life and I am guessing this is a pretty big oneš
All I know is that this is a horrible feeling and one I didnt envisage that I would have.
Thanks for your commentsšš»
Hello Binty @Binty Iām on an SSRI post-stroke but then again I was on an SsrI pre-stroke too,Iām naturally an emotional person and things get me down easily.I couldnāt function without antidepressants,but like all drugs there are side-effects for me these were minor compared to the benefit!
I have to agree with posters who opted for anti depressants. I had talking therapy online which did nothing for me! I had a conversation with my GP who suggested the antidepressants . So I thought I would try them and found the small dose really helped. This was all pre stroke. I,m still taking them and it,s around two years now! I know some people have withdrawal symptoms when they come off them ,but if it,s done slowly it shouldn,t be too bad (fingers crossed!) I,m just not there yet!!
Thanks Gorrie,
I have had the results back from the doctorās and thankfully there is nothing underlying.
My local Stroke Association has given me a few options that Im going to look into before the anti-depressant route.
Thank you.
Hi Binty
I am now 15 years down the toad from my stroke that was diagnosed in 2010 but probably happened in late october 2009.
Following diagnosis I was just discharged and left to cope with what was a major impact on my life with damaged eyesight, no longer allowed to drive,unable to do a job that I loved and with an uncertain future.
I became depressed and lethargic and basically just used to sit in a chair all day thinking dark thoughts.
I reached a stage a year later when I had a conversation with myself as to whether i was going to sit in this chair for the rest of my life or get out and see what I could still do.
My stroke was due to a congenital heart defect ( hole in the heart) not to any lifestyle factors .I had an operation to close the hole
I started cooking for myself as a project,started a project to turn my empty patio into an outdoor garden with potted plants ,potted trees and outdoor furniture.
I planned day trips and a holiday using public transport .I eventually returned to work part time in a reduced capacity for several more years until my retirement in 2017 aged 70.
I am now 78 and still do those things and a lot more.
The Stroke association and this forum in particular is a great source of information and encouragement.
Your doctor will test you and treat any underlying medical factors, but ultimately the best motivation will come from yourself helped I am sure with advice and encouragement from fellow stroke survivors.
We have all been where you are now and understand the problems that you face.
Good luck on the journey
Tony
Hello @binty Iām with @mattjc I take ssris post-stroke but did Infact take ssris before I have a low amount of the feel good hormone,dopamine and all need all the help possible to increase it.but not all ssris have worked for me.i was on Prozac in my 20s and my character changed and I made the decision to come off it and had a eureka moment where I suddenly felt like me again! When my second daughter was 4 I really struggled with depression because that was how old I was when my mother left me to go to college!so I empathise with you equating your age with that of your father when he left you.the antidepressants available today can make a huge difference donāt discount them.
Hi @Binty - just catching up and note you have had some good news from the doctors following your tests. I hope you find the solution you are looking for wrt your depression and note you have a few pointers from the Stroke Association.
I have just read the response from @tony_cave, one of our regular contributors and I hope you find some inspiration from that.
I note also there have been other contributions from members with different views which is one of the good things about this forum whereby you get options you can choose from and experiences you can relate to. All good stuff.
I am sure you will do what is right for you and you know you can always come here and further update us on how you are getting on - we would very much love to hear from you.
I am sorry you relationships with your siblings turned sour, but I feel you have a lovely family with your wife and daughter. Support from your family and friends is to be treasured and we are lucky that we have got that 
Wishing you call the best.
Take care.
Hi Tony, thank you for your comments. You are inspirational in regards to how you have turned things around.
I too was very healthy prior to my stroke at 53 and my diagnosis also was that it was caused due to a hole in the heart that was unknown at the time. The doctors decided that it wasnt in my best interests to get it closed but to manage it with medication.
I have managed to get back into part time work and have cut my hours down thinking that this may have been the cause but it has made no difference.
I now know there is nothing going on medically thanks to the blood tests, so I need to get my head round things mentally to get over this blip.
I keep thinking how well my recovery was going / has gone and now this, which isnāt helping.
All the bestšš»
I stopped thinking about āhow much better am I when everybody else seemed to be better than meā a while ago.
Everybody, literally everybody, has a different journey on the āStroke engineā. Period.
So this forum is for sharing āmy storyā not pre-judging everybody else. Like evil influencers on social media being paid a lot of money so that the watchers buy more products. Donāt do that! A healthy influencer means that they put you in the driving seat with a new perspective and no pay.
Anyway, the one thing that all unites us is the stroke. Far away or near, minor or massive, bleed or blockage, left or rightā¦ā¦it is irrelevant. We are all going through our unique journey and sharing that makes us feel alive, not a competition or a marathon.
M