I know steves had a stroke 10 months ago. He wont go out still unless he has too. Ive got to collect tablets because hes not confident too, I cook all meals, yesterday we was child free but he sat down and watched tele all day in pyjamas whilst I run around and do stuff.
Will this ever get better. I love him and will always be with him and help him but im exhausted
Hi @Clairekirby1990 , sorry to here about Steve and the fact he is still struggling for confidence. Before stroke how was he socially was he more outgoing or was he more of a quiet person? I’m sure other will add to this but there is a personality change in most of us survivors, for me I was personally downright angry and wanted to fight back and get on like before- that’s part of my personality, early adult cancer delayed my chemo for Glastonbury- stupid but was young, multiple spinal fractures when can I go home- when you can walk , okay lets do it and got home.
But stroke has been one step forward and two back at times I’m officially back at work but signed off sick but also looking fir a new job because too much was expected from me by my employer and team.
What were Steve’s passions in life and were the activity based and again he may need support to even think about this. From a social care perspective is there a befriending service he could be referred to? Maybe eveb a family friend to come in and maybe coax Steve into something ? And for you are you getting help and the support you need to mange Steve and where he is , you shouldn’t be doing this alone. Wishing you all well and hope you get some answers ans support for Steve.
As @Jbob says, it depends on the personality and challenges of the brain injury. Ten months is a mere needle in the haystack of stroke time, and how he approaches rehabilitation will be up to him, but he may be experiencing challenges with the three A’s (Accept, Adjust, Adapt) and that can be difficult from a psychological perspective. I can’t remember what his condition is like, but it is tough for all concerned after stroke.
Thank you for this
He was very sociable.
He thinks his talking is awful but its not.
Yeah he does get mixed up with words but hes improved loads. He just cant see it.
Thanks . He has expressive alphasia, numbness in 2 fingers.
It didnt affect mobility.
Hes got no taste in any foods apart from if its sweet. He can taste that.
I think no taste in food is making him down too
@Clairekirby1990 , any improvement is a good thing. Always remember it’s a marathon not a sprint. Keep giving him encouragement. Well done on getting this far. If you can ask this site about having respite care for yourself. Just a thought. 
If he’s not confident collecting tablets(for example) I suggest you work out what you can do to help him build his confidence. Do you need to walk with him? Wait in the car while he goes in the pharmacy on his own? Then as he gets more confident you can change (reduce) your assistance to further increase his confidence. It’ll be a slow process but hey ho. GForwards is forwards!!!
Great reply! If you need any free help with job searching/cv please do let me know, I am HR consultant with 30 years experience. I would be happy to help if it would be of help. Best, Jayne
It does take some time to build the confidence back up. Start small…would he perhaps go somewhere quiet tor a coffee with you & just sit quietly, drink the coffee then go home & build from there. As Pamela says try taking him with you to get meds then let him so a bit with you there…but don’t be tempted to step in unless absolutely necessary.
Small steps. It is a lot about accepting the situation and then adapting to how things are now then moving forward one bit at time.
Thank you. He didnt want to leave the house yesterday x
@Clairekirby1990 , for now, don’t force him. Let him adapt to his situation and then try to work around it. I did it my self with mum’s disabilities (mainly mobility issues). There is no right or wrong answer as to how to care for him. As others have said on this site, take small steps. Hope you and your family are OK.
There is a lot going up in the head that can’t be seen and it can be exhausting. I spent a lot of time playing video games, rewatching old childhood shows on telly as well as nature and history series. Fatigue can come about just by thinking about stuff. If he is doing things that give him pleasure or help distract his mind, it may be his way of coping with what is going on upstairs. Is he able to have a laugh?
@Clairekirby1990 , @Rups is not wrong. I used to help care for a couple of ladies in my area who had a stroke like your husband (they live in Ireland now) and they used a similar stimulus to help cope with their stoke problem. If whatever your husband is doing helps him cope, let him do his thing. In time, he’ll probably start to open up more. Hopefully, he’s laughing. 
Hello!
Karen had her stroke on 29/04. Since then I’ve washed, cleaned, cooked, helped her dress, made sure has had her tablets, collected her tablets and run about like a headless chicken… which si apt since i have legs that resemble those of a chicken!
I love her, but I’m exhausted and was so tired on Tuesday that I forgot (was too tired) to pick up my feet, walked into a kerb, fell over and broke two toes in the process. At the moment I am running on empty, fed, up, feel unsupported and unloved and am tearing my hair out. Life is one thing after another and there’s not a moment to rest.
But we do it precisely because we love them, and we push ourselves because we love them, and we are best placed to help…because we love them. And whilst we are exhausted, we go further… because we love them.
I am always here if you need to vent or rant or simply want a friendly ear to bend. I’ve been there, I am there, and i would wear the t-shirt if it wasn’t so bally hot!
You’ve got this, even if you don’t think you have.
Sorry about your accident and broken toes. Running on empty is a situation I know well, and I hope matters improve for you soon.
I was like that after mine I felt too vulnerable to go out alone because of my balance and I didn’t walk very good …. 2 years later I’m getting there I’m still not 100 percent about going out alone and don’t go far but i pushed myself encouraged myself and I know il get there but it’s not easy at all im 2 years in …. just give him time and encourage him as best you can but he’s got to want it too i promise it does get easier and i never thought it would
Wishing you both good health
Thank you so much . Fantastic advice
Hi ya. Yes he watches loads of tele and can certainly laugh
Thank you very much for all of this.
And well done too you. Thats really good your slowly getting there
Hello Annie3 and welcome to the forum.
It’s good to have you with us and it’s nice you are able to offer words of encouragement and soupport based on your own experiences 
Wishing you all the best and looking forward to hearing more from you.
Namaste|
Jim
