The recent assessment failure and reality of my situation is habitually I’m in a suitable position but cognitive impairment is not allowing me to place the car on the right side of the road.
The disability driving instructor was not honest about my suitability to drive and was more keen to get as many lessons as possible booked in to collect the £60 a go lessons.
By the time my cognitive impairment is fixed even if it ever comes back I’ll be too old to drive again anyway.
So begins the list of things that are closed off to my life starting with driving a more than likely walking as before and a host of other things I held dear in my life before the stroke.
Never say never Mark, you hopefully have many years of life left yet and in that time your cognitive issues may well improve enough to drive. In the meantime make the most of how you are and embrace using mobility scooters etc as this can open up a whole world of independence for you.
Sorry you’re not happy today. Sending strength and best wishes.,
I really feel for you @mrfrederickson
but
you are alive,
you have a wonderful wife who can drive
and
without too much thought I’m sure,
you can put together a list of CAN DO’s.
In fact you won’t be flying a jumbo jet across the Atlantic single handed,
piloting your own crew on a mission to explore the moon,
opening £1 million packets of salt and vinegar crisps before Tuesday.
Should I continue?
Stroke has changed your life but you still have it in your power to make a few changes yourself.
Leave behind what cannot be what may not be and proverbially stride forward towards a future you CAN make for you and yours.
No-one is omnipotent. We all, stroked or not, rely on one another to a degree. So with help and support move towards a better future where you can make choices and do things that please.
Remember how to laugh. Look forward.
If you chose to mourn your past I can understand that but you have a future waiting to be built.
A cruel blow for us both, my wife now the only driver in our immediate family so I’m a disciple of uber or such service
Such a shame to end 50’plus years in such a pitiful state
Yes there are many can do’s and things I have yet to do but my life was good back in 2021 and just at the height of my existence the stroke kicked in, and bang life as I knew it ended and as has been typical of so much of my life to date I’ve been robbed at the last hurdle. And no doubt as I reach the most I can be in this new reality I will be robbed of a fitting conclusion to a pitiful existence.
Using the scooter and wheelchair will definitely help with your cognition. It’s all a help towards getting a better level of cognition back. As @Bobbi says focus on what you can do. Don’t dwell on what you can’t and you just never know you may one day realise that you’ve made improvements that have crept up quietly without you noticing.
Hello Mark - this is the thing that makes me angry. I do feel sorry for what has happened but my anger is greater. These sort of people who prey on others make my blood boil. This instructor gave you false hope and took money from you that you needn’t have spent had they been upfront and honest with you.
I have followed your posts about driving again and know how much it meant to you and how much time and effort you invested in getting your license back, the hassle with the DVLA and all for nothing because someone was too greedy
I am so sorry you’ve had such an experience, but feel you will get over it and with support and encouragement already being shared with you from our regulars such as @Bobbi and @Mrs5K who I know have both supported you well on this journey as well as our newer members including @Dexster and @andrew90.
Please take some comfort from knowing we are with you and here for you
It was my driving force to take my old position behind the bejewel to save my good lady from the stress of battling on the queens highway, no fun any more, in that I’m glad to be out of it finally.
i never did like driving anyway , thats the job for my wife now , i just sit back and relax and pay the road tax , mot , insurance , petrol , and so on - LOVE IT
Fully on your page driving is now so far removed from my early experiences as a teenager that it is now akin to a blood sport.
The anger being poured out by fellow drivers is remarkable and a testament to to the decline of this once great nation.
My brother is waiting for self driven vehicles to get established so he can be driven home after a night out , I’d consider a self driven vehicle after the system has been in operation for a while and confidence is established in drivers safety.
Yes good advice, I may not have a car but I do have a scooter and a new wheelchair that needs running around so all to play for this summer and who knows maybe I can take my soon to be born granddaughter on rides around the park.
Thanks one and all I feel more positive than before.
Sometimes when feeling down the best thing to do is get it out and if possible share it with a sympathetic ear.
I could have been a bit more understanding with you Mark, after all I get the blues too. Bottling it up isn’t good so they say and I’ve no reason to doubt that.
My stroke was four years ago and although I’ve come to terms with it there are times the way things are makes me look back with regret. There is little I can do except accept and look forward to improvement however slight.
I am not the man I used to be but I’m not such a bad fellow for all that and there have been things to be glad for since leaving hospital.
Just remember you are not alone. There are more than a million of us working our way through this. Early days when I was bed bound I got encouragement and inspiration from seeing what others had achieved so now I try to share my successes, my adventures and my encounters.
I am still who I have always been and hope that will continue for some time yet.
Best wishes @mrfrederickson and everyone else reading here.
May your days get brighter.
@mrfredrickson Sorry to hear your going through a tough time. But it’s nice to know your on the mend. It’ll be hard making new “adjustments” to your life, it’ll be best to think about what you can do not what you can’t do.
Thanks for your responses and I am feeling a lot more positive about my future and trying my only arm/hand at things I love doing and have held off for want of a left arm that works.
Time will tell if after thirteen years I’m no different I’ll figure that’s it now and continue with life as I am
My situation is very similar to yours. I try to start from the position that I can do anything (except ironing) and then work out how to do it one handed. This has included digging a pond; putting up shelves; knitting; embroidery; baking cakes.
