Hi all
I’m new to this online community and hoping that I can find some comfort and support. My dad suffered a very big stroke back in November of last year. It was incredibly tough and very distressing. He was 59 at the time, very independent and living with us at home. Following the initial treatment to remove the clot, he then had to have an urgent craniectomy to relieve the pressure, following a month in the ICU were he was ventilated and sedated due to chest infection. Before being taken to a rehab ward in January, he was bounced around 2 hospitals. I felt that he wasn’t supported and encouraged in the rehab ward (not like the other patients). I suspect some of it might have been due to language issues (dad now suffers from apasia and lost the ability to speak in English following the stroke), and partly because compared to others, he tried easily and they didn’t want to push him too far. He therefore had v limited gait training, which was the most important thing for him.
Fast forward and it’s time for him to come home. I fought in the hospital for him to be discharged home with a package of care. I was really worried that if he went to a care home, he would regress even further.
He’s now been home for about 5 weeks with a package of care. It’s been incredibly difficult to care for him. I’m now considering whether a temporary move to a care home or nursing home is better. His needs are difficult to manage in between care calls, mainly the personal care and issues with toileting and incontienance.
I’m incredibly upset and feel like I’ve let him down, but with working full time I’m not able to provide him with the full care he requires. My mum is also 61 and has her own health needs. I’m riddled with guilt at the thought of dad going away, and worried I’m making a mistake and that instead of getting better he’ll get worse.
I’d be so grateful if anyone could let me know if they’ve had a similar experience. Any guidance would be much appreciated. Ideally I’d like a move away to be temporary and hope that dad gets the physio and support he needs at the placement in order to get better and come back home.
Thanks all so much