Anger following my stroke

Hi I'm 2 years post stroke and I still seem to carry around allot of anger and emotion.  I ask the same question allot of people I'm sure ask why me. I had a basal ganglia hemoragic bleed leaving me paralysed. It has effect my emotions anyway. I cry allot for no real reason. I take so many meds to control my blood pressure so I don't have another bleed

Hi Sally, I know what you mean as I have said the same thing time and time again. Why me. Well in my case I had an episode of high blood pressure in  June 2017 for which I took blood pressure medication and then in February 2018 I had a lacunar infarct which caused confusion and emotional issues which have continued but are getting less frequent now. Having the stroke was/ is a big thing for me to accept, but as others have said on here we have survived while others have not, and for that I am truly grateful even though I still have days when I feel really down.

Being emotional is really hard to deal with, it’s so embarrassing, but it does get less and less over time.

There are lots of people on this site who will help you come to terms with the stroke but I can assure you that things will get easier for you to accept, yes you will have setbacks, I had one yesterday but it’s all part of stroke recovery. Read others posts they will help you see you’re not alone. We all have similar symptoms to deal with but they do seem to get less and less as time goes on, maybe we just get used to dealing with them I’m not really sure.

Take care.






Dear Sally

I am lucky in that I dont get the anger bit. 

I wonder if you might think 'why me who has survived'. Lots of us dont make it through the first month, so why have we been spared ? 

My paralysis just vanished on day 4. A miracle. And I ask why me (the miracle that is).I havent found an answer yet but I live in hope.

I do like counselling. If you havent had counselling then please ask for some. Must be a stroke specialist.  I had good counselling in the first few weeks and I think that has paid massive dividends. I didnt think that at the time ! But looking back, I wouldnt have accepted my position so easily.

At some time I hope you can start to find the 'new Sally' and that she will learn to have some good years in the shell that was 'old Sally'.

Best wishes



I'm 2 year post stroke I had high blood pressure and then had a  basal ganglia hemorrhagic stroke was in 'rehab have for 5 months

I'm so pleased for you. I have a nice life I got married in August and my partner is great just rehab is taking along time. I've just had BOTOX injections in my foot and leg to help with walking so hopefully onwards and upwards

Hi Sally hope things are better with you? I had anger issues before my stroke,but then again am Scottish and we always have some grip, if anything I lost my anger when I had my stroke, I call it my anger management class with consequences, if I get angry I discover something new that I can't do... like count.. If anything I have gone the other way and could cry at the drop of a hankie. (poor hankie falling like that?) I use humour to try and get past my dark times and have enjoyed reading (not that I take pleasure in others misery) and replying hopefully with a cheery point and I wish everybody well


Just see this Colin! I get very bitter since I had my stroke 6 months ago! I want my life back!! I get jealousy of people behaving a nice life including my brother who I adore!! Feel I've become someone I don't like!'

Am so bitter an d jealous of anyone having a good life!! Even my brother who I adore!!

Hello Jane,

On occasion, I think about my family and friends having a good time and I wish that was me again. So carefree and easy. I'm in awe at times of people's constitutions compared to how mine has turned out. At the end of the day though, the stroke has changed how I fill my time up opposed to how I used to fill my time up. I am much more shrewd on what I spend my time doing, and how I do it. For now, I view all the things I did, as everybody else is still doing, as "been there, done that", and this phase of my life will be focussing on new, different things. Although, when my symptoms are bad, it is hard to feel like this as it isn't pleasant being in discomfort but some people have it a lot worse. Sometimes, I feel like I am outside looking in on the world going ahead around me, but I have to stay focused on my own betterment. 

Jane, I sympathise with how you feel, but anger will only keep you from moving on. I accepted my stroke quite early on, but knew I had to try to make things as 'normal' as possible for my partner's sake. For example, as soon as I cam out if hospital I insisted we book a short holiday. It wasn't all that successful, because I was both on a frame and needing a wheelchair. The important thing is we did it.

Bit by bit, little by little, things have got better. We now go on regular breaks, we have been up Snowdon by train and we have been to concerts and the theatre. Last week, I amazed myself by threading a needle and sewing a button onto my trousers.

I remember a woman whose husband had been shot and murdered saying that she had three choices...remain angry and bitter, become self pitying and mournful or accept the pain and accept what future happiness might come here way, even though it might not. You are currently in the bereavement cycle, you have been mourning your old self, are now angry at the loss, but need to move towards acceptance. Remember that you are still alive, many who experience stroke do not survive. You are here for a purpose.

Jeff such great words and so true,...pippy ..

Hi Jackie

It is normal to feel anger. This is one of the 5 stages of grief. Any loss can result in grieving and so there is a process which we go through to reach the final stage of acceptance of the loss. The length of time the whole process takes, and how long each step takes is impossible for me to say, and there is no normal timetable. Counselling can help and online resources can be useful to understand what is going on. You need to be kind to yourself and the unhelpful thoughts will fade over time. Good luck, Pat

Dear JaneG56

you have dug back in the archives.

before covid transformed the world.

Its a basic of a stroke, we change. 
if all SS lived near by then we would all understand each other a lot better.

you cant help the bitterness, it can ease if you let it.

My cat helps me lots. He is always pleased to see me. It gives me a purpose, to get up each morning.

cats are so much nicer than humans

and lots of us on site like you, even when you do not.




My cat does too, she comes and sits on me and purrs when I am not feeling well.

Thank you Colin x

Nothing quite like it. Never had any pets before stroke. Then my Sooty came and adopted us.

he is big and not pretty. Teeth are evil, claws are wicked, but he has never hurt us one tiny bit.

There is an article on him in "your cat" autumn 2019.


I don't want to make lite of your anger, and I don't know how your stroke has effected you.

I am having problems with fatigue and being emotional ( but have not felt anger). I have been referred for some CBT with mind matters so I am not saying everything is easy!

How I see it that there is no point in waisting my energy on anger. I can't go back to before the stroke. This is me, now. I want to continue my rehab. My energy (when I have any) needs to be spent on looking forward, continuing hopefully to improving the situation. Things will only change if I try to change them. I am happy to chat. I do have good and bad days but am trying very hard to be positive. 



I too have been referred for cbt as am increasingly avoiding people I sawpre stroke!!!i

That's a lovely story. I had a black cat called Sooty when I was a child. My cat is called Daisy, a tabby, when my wife got her she was cowering in the corner of the rescue home cage while the other cats were all crowding up the front. She had bite marks on her ears and had clearly been bullied. The reason her previous owners had given her up was because they said, she didn't do anything! She's still very skittish with everyone apart from me. She's a great hunter and properly eats her catches (mice). My wife has a cat called Horace, black and white, half ragdoll. They are charming companions. When I had my stroke and was lying on the floor, vomiting every twenty-minutes, Daisy came and curled up behind my knees. She was with me for the full three hours before the paramedics arrived. 

I live in a rural village mid way between the two area hospitals. The paramedic got to me in two minutes, ambulance five minutes. I guess they must have been out on another call. I was feeling fine when they were called, just paralysed. Their speed was stunning. The hospital staff were out in the cold december weather and i went straight to a dedicated stroke area.

I cant imagine how awful it must have been, for you to wait three hours whilst feeling desparately unwell.

now to happier times. Sooty was initially Oscar, wifes friend has a cat named Oscar and wife liked it. First trip to the vets, to get him checked out, vet said he was magnificent. So we thought he would be oscar the magnificent. When i mentioned he could be sooty, eg all black, we decided on the snappy name Sooty Oscar the Magnificent.

we took him for chipping and initially told we had to have a single name. Helpful lady at the vets said we could have any name. So he is registered as Sooty Oscar the Magnificent. Or as a delightful friend, met on this site, calls him Le Magnifique.

He can hunt a bit, and doesnt play with prey. He eats his catches. A cheeky squirrel wandered around his patch this morning. And when squirrel ignored cats warning, cat got hold of him. Sqirrell escaped and shot next door. A happy ending all round.