I got scammed and I feel realy bad and scared now. Someone texted me and say they was from a company I use. It looked real to me. They know some details so I trust it.My head was foggy and I did not think right and sent the money. Now £600 is gone just like that. I cant belive it….now I am scared and feel anxiousof texts and calls. My husband found out when I told him about the text he was furious because he pays our bills and I wanted to help to feel useful so I paid it and told him he said to me that we do not deal with that company anymore. I showed him the text and he saw something was wrong. Now Im upset. I dont know what is real and what is fake anymore and I dont remember all my login details. When someone contacts me I panic. I think is this real or is this a scam??? I dont know and I dont understand and I feel useless, such a burden to my husband.
The world is very hard now and everything feels fake.Since my stroke my brain is diffrent. Im not a baby but my brain doe not always question things fast. I trust first and think after that make people like me easier to trick got bad intentions, they look for vunrable people they sound nice and helpful but they lie. Word to the wise you never no who is on th other end!! Is there no financial help for stroke survivers, someone to help with money and bank and safety?? In this world we need money and we need help to protect it we should not have to deal with this alone. My husband will talk with our bank. But this has upset me very much and I can not sleep.
Try not too be too upset, the modern world has made it very easy for scammers to take advantage of vulnerable people and as a stroke survivor you are more vulnerable than many. As somebody who has spent his life working in IT and thinking about information security every day it makes me very angry that so many organisations depend on insecure communication methods like texts and email (I’m looking at you NHS) and are allowed to do so. For those who have smart phones apps are usually a more secure alternative.
I hope your bank is sympathetic and returns your money, but until then the best you can do is chalk it up to experience and view future text messages with a bit more scepticism. This is important as scammers will often try to have another go at people they have successfully extracted money from.
Please, whatever you do, don’t blame yourself. The environment that has allowed this was created by businesses and organisations using technology without appropriate care. It is a legislative failing, not a personal one. Things are getting better, but sadly not fast enough for you in this case.
I want to add, I’m sure your husband doesn’t think you are a burden. One of the reasons we get married is to support one another through life, it goes with the institution. That’s not a burden, that’s love.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. There is no need to feel embarrassed about this - scams are very sophisticated now and can fool anyone.
A couple of things to think about with both text and calls. If you get a text message, you can wait to answer it and speak with your husband or a family member about it before responding. When someone phones, you don’t have to speak with them there and then. You can tell them it’s not a good a time, ask for their name and the company they are from and say you will call back when it’s more convenient. If the person on the phone puts pressure on you, immediately hang up. Scammers will usually try to express urgency about the situation to get you to panic, and they are professionals at this so again, please don’t feel embarrassed that this has happened.
Make sure you speak with your bank and the police, your bank may be able to get the money back for you.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself about this and I’m sure your husband doesn’t think you’re a burden.
I keep re-reading your post and finding things I didn’t mention - sorry! But… login details. Here’s what I tell everyone who has trouble remembering them: we are often told not to write them down, but scammers are not physically breaking into your house to steal secrets, there are easier ways to trick people. So get a plain notebook that you can hide at the back of a drawer away from your computer and write them down. Use a different password for each login. If you think a password has been compromised change it. If you are tech-savvy then a password manager app is a better option, but for people who aren’t a carefully guarded notebook is perfectly fine.
Second that. You are more likely to be hacked online than for your written details to be stolen. I rely on the fact that my writing is completely illegible (even to me sometimes).
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Others have given wise advice. Please don’t blame yourself - these wicked people are very good at what they do. Be kind to yourself instead. You are allowed to be human.
Please, please, take a deep breath and try to be gentle with yourself. What you are feeling—the shock, the fear, the anxiety, the guilt—is a completely normal and understandable reaction to being violated. This was not your fault. It is the fault of a cruel, calculating criminal who deliberately targets people.
Contacting the bank is exactly the right step . Do this immediately if you haven’t already. Report it as an “authorised push payment scam.” While chances of recovering the money are not high, banks have obligations to investigate, especially when vulnerability is involved.
With your husband’s help, change passwords for your main email and online banking. Do not try to remember all your logins now. That’s too much. One step at a time.
For now, make a new rule: You will not respond to ANY unsolicited message or call about money, accounts, or passwords. None. If it’s important, they will write a letter or your husband can handle it for the time being.
Compassion: Talk to yourself as you would talk to your dearest friend in this situation. “You were tricked by a professional liar. You acted from a good heart. We will get through this together.”
Be kind to your heart tonight. The £600 is a terrible loss, but your safety, your peace of mind, and your partnership with your husband are what matter most. Those can be rebuilt. You are not a burden. You are a survivor, and you are asking for the right help. That takes immense strength.
@Fallenleaf Your bank will return your money. This happened to my Father in law and to me. He was done for over 4000.00 I was done for a lot less. I got full refund and so did my father in law. Its not easy to get back but you get it. My phone can only answer calls that I have in my address book. So no more scams for me. Because of my job I am more aware of all the scams. I feel for you, but the money will be returned. Contact your bank or credit card company where the money was taken from. Tell them exactly hat happened. And for future use tell whoever on the phone they need to call back when you husband is in as he deals with that. Only answer calls that you know who is calling. Scammer love the elderly and the vulnerable. Good luck
A couple of years ago I was scammed out of £4000 just before Christmas and I havent had a stroke! These people are clever and their operations are slick.
Please, please contact your bank and you may be surprised at just how sympathetic it will be. Best case scenario, it’ll refund you all your money.
I contacted the police and the lady in the fraud squad said these scams are almost impossible to detect and AI is making it even more difficult. She said there have been situations were people have remortgaged their houses and the scammers have taken all the money.
It’s very easy to feel everyone is out to get you but most people in the world are lovely and caring.
There’s a movie called The Bee Keeper with Jason Statham (quite violent) in which a kick-ass guy gets revenge on the scammers. I know its only a movie but it made me feel better.
@Fallenleaf I can’t add anything to the advice already given but I just wanted to add that you shouldn’t blame yourself. Scamners are getting more sophisticated by the day & many many people get caught out.
Talk to your bank. They can help. Also jnfirm the police & if you still have ut firward the text to 7726 as they look into these scams.
Hi @Fallenleaf I’m so sorry you’ve scammed this way and as everyone else says, this wasn’t your fault, those scammers are getting ever more clever and devious about how to circumvent any securities we put in place.
So my general rule of thumb for anyone or anything asking me for money via phone, internet, email, messaging, is No. And then I would investigate whether it’s legitimate or not.
However, since my stroke, even with all that I have recovered, I still don’t trust myself with the finances. I leave all that to my husband. I can shop online but I’ll go onto the website trust and used for years, never ever via their emails. And I can’t trust myself and my clicky stroke fingers to manage such things on a smart phone.
I was just telling my hubby about your post and he says, if you feel the need to help your husband then stick the kettle on In other words, there are so many many other little things that you could probably do help with help him with.
How is your readability now, are posts still too long for you?
A tip I used was long posts of interest to me, I’d bookmark and read them in increments until I’d finished. That way I could take breaks and come back to them later.
5 years on I still do that on a slow or sluggish brain day. The more reading time you can get in the easier it will get; just speaking from my own experience
I feel for you, I got scammed in 2024 via an online shopping site and people who know me always think of me as scam-proof but like you say, brain tends to take more time to evaluate what is going on and sometimes it can be too late. The bank will investigate, and I suggest you or your husband also report the scam. Below is a link to the Citizen’s Advice page on the matter …
What always rubs me up the wrong way is that scammers and fraudsters prey on the poor and vulnerable, those of us who can little afford to lose what we have.
Fallenleaf - this can and does happen to anyone. It did not happen to you because you are a stroke survivor. As has been said, scammers are very clever and they are usually one step ahead of the law and so unfortunately this is not the first or last time a crime like this will happen.
Hopefully, you will not fall victim again - try to follow the advice given and hopefully you will stay safe.
I am so sorry what has happened - i cant add to the wise words of others. I genuinely think there by the grace of god go us all so dont be hard on yourself. It can happen to anyone stroke or no stroke - and it does.
You are very wise talking about it here - keep doing so. You are also helping others. It is very upsetting. It will be history soon enough.
Keep well friend.
Please dont be too hard on yourself. I work for a bank and we have customers scammed everyday. They are professionals and that’s all they do all day. Trick people and steal money. I would suggest you report it to action fraud. You can call 0300 123 2040 or visit www.actionfraud.police.uk
I have problems with memory too. Yiu are not alone. I got scammed by servicing company. £700 later and lesson learned. Very easy to get scammed so i dont answer unless i know the number x i hope you get it back
Thank you everyone, so much your empathy and kindness. This has been veiry hard for me but reading all your kind words and experiences have really shifted my vie w on things you are right, these people are proffessionals! I showed the text to my cousin who also said they have recieved the same message and sshe showed me how to report it so we did it together. Thank you for all your tips and for responding to me I am overcome with the kindness of you people I have never felt so much gratefullness,
And my husband spoke to the bank and he showed them the text I think they will give us the money back for this Iam very grateful… as well my husband also says he understands.. he was worried and we have worked it out. thank you thank you all for your advice
In other words, there are so many many other little things that you could probably do help with help him with.
