Worried daughter

On Saturday night my mam, whos 91, had a TIA. Ambulance came within 10 mins, paramedics were great. I left her settled on the stroke ward after midnight on Saturday. I was called Sunday morning by the physio to say she was being discharged and we picked her up in the afternoon. Nobody told us anything. Shed been there less than 24 hours and dischage papers confirmed TIA. Im now at home with her, no follow up action from hospital or GP, no referral to stroke rehab team, tod by them to ask GP for speech and language referral. I need to make an appointment to speak to GP tomorrow.

Mam is still slurring badly, can’t wear her dentures and has only had a little soft food to eat. Shes also still slipping in and out of confusion. Although she is 91 she had no dementia issues at all prior to this. I feel like weve been abandoned by everyone! I read that there is a high occurance of full stroke within 3 days of TIA and im really worried yet i cant get any help from anyone. Ive had to ask for family leave from work as i work in a school so cant just take annual leave, theres only me to care for her. Dont feel i can safely leave her alone. The hospital knew she lived alone with no carers and never even checked with me before discharging her. Ive literally spoken to nobody!

Has anyone else been in this pisition and can offer any advice or comfort? Just feel really anxious and overwhelmed.

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@TraceyD welcome to the forum. Sorry your mum has had a TIA. where I live they have a TIA clinic. May be worth asking the GP about this or call the stroke unit at tye hospital.

It really does beggar belief that they have discharged someone with no care plan in place. Sums up the situation the NHS finds itself in right now. Which is no help or comfort to you.

If you’re worried that your mum may have had a stroke following her TIA you could try ringing 111 for advice. Also try the Stroke Association helpline they will be able to answer some of your questions.

It might also be worth getting a care needs assessment done. Through your local council or social services. You need to be firm with them re the amount of care you can / cannot provide.

Sending you lots of best wishes.


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sorry to hear your experience - its not unusual from what ive heard
1st thing to say is ive no medical basis to say anything and all of us are entirly differrent
if yr mum now has stroke meds such as aspirin her risk factors are much improved. there are a host of other meds too.
many people dont have full strokes afterwards and if it is a "T"IA then recovery will be good. if recovery isnt then it wasnt “T” transient.
get yourself connected to carrers groups there are online & in person ones - eg my wife hosts an online one next is a week wednesday (is that 18th?)
for sure it is scary
for sure them med profession are good at the mechanics, the individuals are mostly execellent at empthy & caring but the whole doesnt meet the support & explaination gap but that is better covered by he voluntary sector

stay strong

Thank you so much for the replies, it helps just being able to talk to people who have experience. Mam was already on aspirin but they have stopped that and put her on clopidogral which she was on a few years ago. She has a history of high blood pressure. Again, no discussion around medication.
Another thing, when the paramedics arrived i fave them her respect form which was completed less than a month ago but the discharge form refers to one oreviously completed in Sept 2021. I now have no idea where the new respect form is so that will be another folliw up call.
Mam’s speech does seem to be improving slowly and she managed some mashed up stewed steak and nashed potato yesterday and a pot of custard so im feeling happier about that. Her sleep patrern is off, shes been sleeping on abd off during the day and weve been awake on and off since 2.30am. My brother who lives out of town is coming over this aft so ill be able to pop home for a shower and to recharge my own batteries a little - thats if my call back from thd GP has happened by then!
Thank you once again for your comments and help, they really are appreciated at a very confusing time for myself.

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@TraceyD good to hear your mum has made a little bit of progress. Eating a bit more will help build her strength up.

Sleep can be all.over thebplace post stroke. I know I spent loads of time asleep in the day for the first few weeks. It will start to settle - ahes been through a lot.

Hopefully you can track the respect form down. Have you got a copy? We kept a copy of my dads so we could show to the paramedics wtc when they turned up. If you have a copy you can do that in the interim if needed.

Hope the GP call goes well & enjoy your well earned short rest.

Best wishes

Ann x

An oft repeated suggestion (so worth following at the early stages) is take it 1 day at a time

Any sleep is good. Mine was bad from 9months and only now is getting to a good level after 2yrs

Monitor bp to check meds are at the right does. Aspirin & clopy are different ways of protecting clots. When I had my last ‘funny’ they added a months aspirin on to of the clopy
I have canderatan for bp but there are many listed on the nhs phamacopia and patientsLikeMe gives a view the affects other patients report feature

As a carer take all the chances you get to be cared for. Physical & emotional drains more than double up

Thank you so much for all the replies and info.

Today has been a very long day. I’ve seen the best and the absolute worst of the NHS - and this is nothing to do with being short staffed or overworked. Our GP let us down massively until I kicked off. I asked for a home visit and they said paramedic would come. They then rang back and said he wouldnt and that i needed to ring 999. All i wanted was someone to have a look at her and say yes everything is as it should be! It wasnt a 999 situation. After my protest he did come out, looked at her and was concerned, he thought she should go back to hospital. He left and called an ambulance. Ambulance arrives but these oaramedics dont think she should go to hospital! Instead they contact the neuro ward and it turns out there has been a miscommunication. Mam hasnt had a TIA she has had a minor stroke which means she should be referred to stroke rehab team. The paramedics did the referral and left. In less than half an hour i had a call from reham team saying someone would be there in 30 mins! Thought mam was going back to hospital, then she wasn’t! Those two paramedics this afternoon have managed to reinstall my faith by their actions to counter the miscommunication by the hospital and means mam is now getting support and rehab through the stroke team whereas before she was getting nothing. Stroke nurse been and done an assessment this afternoon and mam will be referred for physio and speech therapy now. I feel more positive this evening but extremely tired. My brother came over this aft so I’ve managed to get home for a shower before I head back to do the night shift! Mam’s speech is still slurred and she still has a slight droop as well as intermittent confusion. But it could’ve been alot worse and for that im grateful. I still think she didnt get the care she deserved in hospital and that muscommunication would have stood had i not insisted on seeing someone and thae paramedics more thorough work.


Thank you. Our NHS is in a very poor state.

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@TraceyD i echo everything @Mrs5K has said

@TraceyD oh my what a mess around you’ve had. At least you have some support now albeit it was a fight to get it.

Hopefully now the right support is in place your mam will continue to improve.

Sending best wishes.

Ann xx

Thank you very much Ann x

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Just a quick update. Mam continues to make good progress, her speech is improving and shes now able to wear her dentures all the time, which she says makes her feel better. Her confusion is also less often although i can tell when she is tired. Im now back sleeping at home as im only across the road and ive set up the SOS button on her mobile phone. First night home she did ring me at 2.30am a little confused. I stayed an hour then came back home. Im going back to work on monday as im on unpaid family leave at the moment. My brother will be around for the one full day i work and the other 3 im only in for 2.5 hours. Im just grateful mam’s mobility hasnt been affected. I have alot to be thankful for. Thank you again for all your advice last week at what was a very scary time for me x


@TraceyD that’s great to hear. Sounds like your mum is doing really well. Onwards & upwards for her now :crossed_fingers::crossed_fingers:

Best wishes to you all.

Ann xx

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Nice to hear your news of improvements for you mum :heartpulse:

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