Why did this happen to me

I went into hospital last friday for another angiogram,the surgeon decided to probe further into my smaller arteries,this caused a movement of the plaque there and caused a stroke,I had to sign a waiver for the blood thinning treatment they gave me and couldnt promise I would survive,after over an hour of this intravenus tratment they put me on the stroke ward,2 days later another small stroke,more blood thinners,more head scans,after this treatment I am covered in big bruises,My speech is  kind of wrong and my right leg/arm are weak,I am home but scared,and frustrated by my inability to speak properly etc.I get so emotioal all the time,sorry have tried to corect the spelling,it takes me ages to write a text or message now,please say I will improve,I know I am a 73 year old granny but I want to live to be a 100 and be able to be mobile and healthy,

Hi, im so sorry this happened to you. Im almost 2 years on from my stroke and i still have days were it is hard but i also have good days as well. I was only 36 when i had my stroke. I have a husnand a son and am trying to hold down my job although i hate it since my stroke. But all that being said we cant go back and just have to try and get through best we can and take every bit of happiness and hold on to it. Every one here is your friend and you can come on and say what you want when you want. We are all in the same boat. Take care. Ayisha. Xx

You have been through the mill and sorry to hear that.

The bruises will fade you have been poked and prodded and with the blood thinners it’s bound to happen. The weakness you describe is common, you can build on that weakness and with exercise become strong again. This site is wonderful for advice or sometimes just a good moan, it is like talking to friends who understand and sympathise your frustrations. The best line in your post made me reply to you, it’s great to hear you are a 73 year old granny wanting  to make it to 100 with that sort of determination when it is very early days for you I am sure you will reach that goal.  Look after yourself and keep that positive attitude it’s the best medicine anybody can have. 


Dear Eileen

So sorry to hear of your traumas last week.

I am amazed they have released you home so soon. Hopefully the release is because you are now medically fit but it all seems a bit odd. You might wish to read your diagnosis from the copy letter supplied when you leave hospital. If you havent received that copy then ask your GP surgery for a copy. No need for the GP to be troubled, the staff can arrange this. Do keep that letter handy, I needed mine a handful of times and its so easy to file it away then forget where it is.

A stroke is a stroke. Small/ lesser etc doesnt really apply. You either have damage in your brain or you dont. There are transient strokes (often called mini strokes) and I would love to hear thats what you have because recovery from them is fast and total, but I fear you have had a full stroke.

Recovery is slow. Agonizingly slow, so its great that you have at least another 27 yeras before your next milepost, to do that recovery. 

Age is not respected by a stroke. Any age a stroke can bite. What us less young survivors suffer is that perhpas our recoveries are less fast. On the plus side we are retired, settled, and can rest as much as we need. Younger people often have to work and/or care for their children.

No two strokes are the same, we are all different. But most of us have many common issues. Emotionality is common. Tears without any obvious reason. Anger, frustration and worst of all depression. Dont let depression get at you. Your lovely positive attitude will help bat the depression away. Stroke does seem to bring waves of depression but you dont let it in. We need to smile endlessly.

Your brain needs rest, then more rest. If you get tired or indeed fatigued, then dont fight it, your brain is telling you to close down so it can "repair" the damage. Your brain also needs lots of water. Brain does not feel pain, so it cant ask you fpr the water. You need to supply the hydration for whenever its needs it. I hated that part, drinking endless water, but its a small price to pay.

Do ask whatever you want. Lots of us on here, with lots of experiences, and we want to help you just as we were helped in our early days.

Keep smiling

Be positive

You are not alone


Thank you Ayisha,I know its early days and I am having lots of help,but I am finding all this so overwhelming,I get so frustrated not properly speaking,and my leg being so draggy,I find writing a little strange,as I know what I want to write but when I look at it...then I have to go back and correct my spelling,I seem to cry alot, this is normal Im told,I am also so frightened to go to sleep in case I die,sorry if I sound such a wimp xx

Thank you Colin,you are so right about the tears,I have 3 of my so loved dogs buried in my garden and every morninh I go say Hello,since this stroke I find I cry loads when I go to see them,a stroke makes you realise you arent invincable,I find writing frustrating,as I think I am writing ok,then I look and some of it is spelt quite odd,and I have to go back and correct it,even the spell check seems to have given up on me! Thank you all for being there for me,I do feel quite alone sometimes,and so frustrated Im not me any more x

Thank you for repling.its all so frustrating,I know my husband is trying to do the best,but he keeps saying I will probably feel better next week,I do believe it will take a bit longer than that,I wish miracles would happen for all of us who have had a stroke,I find it difficult when people come to visit,my husbands friend came round the other day and I ran and hid in the garden! I feel embarressed with the way I look and speak.I am also afraid to go to sleep in case I dont wake up again,is that a normal feeling? I feel such a failure x

Awe of corse it doesnt sound wimpy. We all have fears we have to deal with. You need to sleep it will help you get better and aid in your recovery. Always here if you need to talk. Ayisha. Xxx

Dear Eileen. I had my stroke nearly four years ago at the age of 72. It was very, very traumatic and scary. My speech was okay but at the start I had total left side weakness and couldn’t stand, walk or use my left arm and hand. I now walk with a stick, have reasonable use of my arm and hand. I cook, bake, iron a little and peg washing out. I still get fatigue and my hand and arm occasionally misbehave, but life is okay.

I have just come back from a coach holiday to Suffolk. On the trip was a woman of 88 who had a stroke 21 years ago. I also met another survivor and his stroke was 12 years ago. However, all our achievements are hard fought for and improvement comes slower than you think. We all have down days too, but you just have to fight on.

Welcome you our group. You are now among friends.

I had my stroke back in May 2019 and just signed up today for this site, I am still finding things I can't do... like shake my left leg... Which is no use when it come to doing the hokey cokey! Just found out when playing cards with my family that I have lost the ability to count but am using my stroke as an excuse for winning, or cheating as they claim! Also humour helps, am not sure if my jokes are not funny or that the dog just doesn't get them.. Either way he doesn't laugh. Reading people's stories has helped me realise that am not in this boat by myself and we are all paddling in the same direction, so to my fellow paddlers I say leftside down and straight ahead and we can get through this.... 

Dear Eileen

The tears ease and for me, at 45 months. it is now only funerals that i have to refuse. In the first year it was awful and the first week homw wi dropped a tray and couldnt stop crying for half an hour. And I am a man so I dont cry, well I do now.

Thank goodness for spell checker. Means I can write by keyboard. Hand writing varies from day to day and some days i find it hard to get may fingers to write anything. I use proper fountain pens and ink. Which empahasises my variable writing.

Its good that you recognoze that you are not me anymore. You can start to build new me. There is lots of good life ahead. But its not the life we had before. I try ever so hard to see the benefit of new life. I think all us SS should move to the Isleof Wight and live in a huge community of survivors. Then we would all understand each other

Best wishes



Nice to have you on board.

Complete with a wicked sense of humour.

A smile does work wonders and if its genuine thats great. But any smile helps...false forced fake or real.

I am 45 months and still improving lots. I cant think of doing the hokey cokey, but counting is back in my armoury.

Last week I had an article published in a national magazine. I am so chuffed that I could write it, correct it but above all send in the right format and attach photos. 

best wishes


Hi Colin 

Thanks for the reply, I had to cut my entrance short as I had had the call.... Teas up!....and wow and behold a juicey steak appeared! Hopefully within the next few days I'll put up my story and get a few gremlins off my chest if that's ok


Looking forward to hearing from you - always good to give those gremlins an airing xx

Whenever you are ready.


You are certainly not a failure - you are a survivor and a very strong and determined one x. The being afraid to go to sleep thing is very common reading a lot of posts on this site - it does get easier but sleep and rest is very important. Try not to worry about how you speak or look it is early days and things will with determination get better and the husband thing with him saying you will perhaps feel better next week - he has had a big shock and probably finds it hard to deal with I know mine does but it is something you will both learn to live with, I know I appreciate the simple things in life much more and I do stop and smell the roses and it has started to rub off on him! X

Dear Eileen

I promise you that things will get better.

So maybe you could just accept Hubbies kind words that you will feel better next week.

Yes it will be a lot longer. But I promise that the stroke damage will ease.

I too tend to want to hide if visitors come. In the early months I would explain, when they arrive, that I will need to disappear for a stroke nap. I would then take that break as soon as I needed. I would go to the bedroom and sit by the window. When refreshed I would re join the visitors.

My speech eased quite quickly and was OK in nine months. Just needed to practice without any great effort.

Your brain did not like you having a stroke. In fact it took all evasive action possible and that includes scaring you a lot so that you keep away from another stroke. Do you think your fear is that ? Or do you really dread being deceased. 

You are now medicated. You are less vulnerable to a stroke and less vulnerable to passing away than you were pre stroke. Get past the four week stage and you really will survive.

Eileen, you did not chose to have a stroke. But you did survive and many do not. You are a special person, chosen to live. Look at yourself as from the moment after stroke. You have progressed and survived. Now you can start to build a new life for yourself. You are now new Eileen and the Old Eileen is no longer here. Think about what you can do and not what you cant do.

You are going on a hard and long journey of recovery. Do what you can and then work slowly at doing the things you want to do but cant manage yet.

You are not going back to be the old Eileen.

I am an FCA. I used to do all the household DIY etc.

Now I do not do any accountancy nor tax work. But I do make tea and coffee for a handful of small groups. I do a small voluntary job. Its rather lovely to do those simple things and not be stressed over tax and pensions.

I am slowly getting the garden back. So this years potatoes, sweet corn, asparagus etc really are meaningful to me.

And best of all a cat has adopted me. He loves me as I am. Always here for him and always keen to have a cuddle with him. He accepts me as I am. A bit unsure of my footing and a bit slow but he just takes me as I am.

Be positive

Smile endlessly

Lots of us are here for you, you are not alone




Hi Colin,thankyou for your lovely reply,I am trying to be more positive and making the "new me" blossom,Im having lots of help and encouragement from the stroke home team,speech is a bit better,not so gabbly de gook,people seem to understand me I think,yesterday I went to see my new GP, to be truthful I was a little intimidated by her,she couldnt make eye contact with me,she said I was taking my medication wrong,but I am taking it as the hospital stroke doctor told me to take it.She said she would be the one "tweeking" my medication.....I told her that the only one doing any "tweeking" would be the stroke doctor at the hospital.I felt quite nervous of being under her care to be truthful.As I still have "recall" moments of my stroke which make my sleeping difficult she suggested sleeping pills! no thank you! my brain needs to heal naturally,not blot out all memories,so they get stuck in to reoccur,can you perhaps understand that? will talk again I hope? regards, Eileen

I had counselling for the trauma of the stroke and it helped me a lot. Personally I take as few medicines as possible. But I still take 7 medicines a day. But thats two less than it was !

Sleeping is a critical part of your recovery. I still note down how long I slept for an I do everything possible to ensure I get 7.5 hours each night. Yes I got terrible nightmares and even worse than that were the night terrors. It has now eased a lot. 

You are definitly right that your brain needs to heal itself. Thats why most of us need so much sleep/so many stroke naps. And we need more water than before.

Keep in touch


Thank you, I have awful days of crying,mu nurse says its ok....take care x