Why are mornings so difficult

Does anyone else feel really down first thing in the morning. I’ve been waking up at usual time but feel so anxious and down I have to get straight up and do something. It’s really starting to get to me, I know it probably due to the stroke but it can affect me for the rest of the morning.

As the day goes on I feel better and by late afternoon/night time I’m back to normal, but it’s starting to have an effect on day to day life. 

I have not had a stroke, so cannot really comment from that perspective.  However, since my husband's stroke I have experienced emotions that had not previously affected me.  I wake up very early and feel a sense of anxiety, sadness and a feeling that I can't get through the day.  I'm not keen on getting up early, and have never really been a fan of routines - but now I find that, just like you, if I push myself to get up and trawl through some mundane chores, go to work etc the day seems to pass and the drama is over. This is completely new to me so my only coping strategy is to keep fairly busy.  There will be many SS who will relate to your situation and will offer their support and suggestions, but it's not a pleasant experience and knocks the stuffing out me!!

Take care, enjoy the w/end, xx

Hi, yes mornings are the most difficult part of the day for me. I try to get up, smile eat some porridge (healthy eating) and then get on with the day. Failed today. Went back to bed. Struggling at moment as facing prospect that Im finding work too much for me.  Anyway enough of the negativity. I will get up and go for a walk and buy some clothes now I’ve dropped 2 dress sizes. There are positives!  Have a good day. Jacquie x

I wonder whether mornings are difficult because the whole day is ahead, and maybe it feels scary & overwhelming when you've just woken up?  Hormone levels?  I'm sure there are many reasons why mornings are difficult.

Jacquie, you haven't failed, you've made a positive decision, and decision-making is very empowering because you re-gain a feeling of control.  You're resting then going out - I hope you find some lovely bargains, you deserve a treat!!  ? xx

Dear Nic, 

I found your post today so moving and honest. As you know I straddle both worlds carer and S.S. 

I to have my moments when I feel like a hamster on a treadmill.  Trying to recover from my stroke as well as providing a certain amount of care for my husband. Plus doing the household chores. 

I am seeing a psychologist every 2 weeks as part of my going back to work in the near future.  I hope!

I don't want to sound like an amateur psychologist but to it sounds like you could a bit of Nic time and support. Is there any way you can make this happen?

I believe the years of being the sole carer for my husband and working full time contributed to me having a stroke. 

Like you I have my moments when I feel like there's no one doing anything for me. " And I've had a stroke " I have a good cry and remind myself that in the beginning of my recovery I couldn't move so doing stuff for myself is a goal achieved.  Also one of Mike's carer's will make me a coffee when they make his.

Please don't follow my lead.  Make some Nic time and space.  Your husband needs you. So do we on the forum.  Who else will keep us smiling and let us know there's someone out there crazier than we are. ???

I think I need to retire!!  No, seriously I do !!  Like you, I have a really tough job, and I think I'm probably past my sell-by date - you start to lose touch when you're 35+ years older than your students, our points of reference are so different.  But ... we have such funny times, one teenager realised that he could use the word "frack" in all sorts of contexts to replace a commonly used swear word, so we have hours of quasi expletives which are hilarious - try it, be my guest!!  So part of me feels I should carry on working, as I'd like to get to 60 before throwing in the towel.  Husband has been poorly this week, and my Head has allowed me time off, but I feel it's unfair of me to expect that, and I don't know what the future holds.  So I'm going to be speaking to a financial advisor and trying to work out my best options.  I'm fairly easily pleased, I live in a lovely village, with brilliant neighbours, I can occupy my time in all sorts of ways, I'm never bored.  

I find this forum really helpful, and love the interactions with the range of people who contribute.  My worst moment came in about July and I really thought I might have been on the edge of 'something', I spent a weekend being tearful and fragile, but that passed thankfully.  

I'm very grateful for your comments Kay, and I know we mess about some of the time, but I know your comments are heartfelt, and they have been received in the spirit that they've been offered - ?.  I'll let you know how I get on, but I think being able to give up work would be the best therapy for me, as the workload is relentless ? !!

Bless you, for your generous comments and your involvement on this site, always look forward to hearing from you and you have so much on your plate (and I don't mean puff pastry mince pies!)  Take care xx 

I'm glad you understand I'm only trying to give back some of the support I have received from this site. If retirement is best for you then go for it. A few of my friends who are older than me have retired and not looked back.  One has joined the temporary workforce team and does a few bank shifts as and when.  But she tends to do data in putting much less stressful than as a department manager.  Good luck! Keep my fingers crossed for you! ☺☺ xx

You two girls are an inspiration to me. Like Nic, I’m not SS but my emotions have been all over the place, too. That was why using this Forum has been such a great thing for both John and me. I haven’t yet succumbed to my GP’s invitation to have ‘medication ‘. I’d been receiving help and support for consistent fatigue prior to his Stroke so, the mornings can be difficult to get through. Hey, what are we all like?  Just imagine? Cut mornings out of our week? What will we miss? Lol! 

Let’s Keep on joking and keeping our spirits up. Thank you so much. V ??

Could we start with Monday mornings never really liked Monday mornings!

Colin recommends smile therapy and looking at the posts on this forum help me do my smile therapy.  So from now on to busy doing smile therapy to do Monday mornings ???? xx

Ok! I ve just done my four smiles today (thank you for sending some, Kay) I’m going to pretend Monday morning isn’t there! However, our boules has been cancelled because weather isn’t suitable and they’re meeting at 10.30 for coffee instead. Can I pretend it’s early afternoon instead? ????

Of course! How about we look up a country we like whose time zone is ahead of us and that's where we'll pretend to be until the U.K. catches up with a time we like.

I'm off to do some smiling and research ??? xx

Ok, I’m plumping for Italy as I like their coffee so 10.30 will be 12.30 there. ????

Can't argue with Italy as choice of venue - I know some fabulous places for coffee with stunning views and delicious cakes.  My heart is racing just thinking about it, so glad to see the back of Mondays ?

I’m sure it’s something to do with sleepIng since the stroke because I didn’t have any problems before. Maybe it’s a different type of sleep you have following a stroke. We’ve been out for dinner and a quick look at the shops, I’ve gone the other way and put weight on as my tastebuds have changed, I’ll have sweet stuff over savoury these days given the choice. Maybe I need to up my walking although the weather is not great here again. 

Hope you come to a decision about your work. I took early retirement from NHS about 4 years ago and it’s something I’ve never regretted.

Enjoy the rest of your day.


You sound just like me. I hate the first few moments when I wake, I know I should be grateful to be here and relatively ok, but the anxiety is terrible and my mind goes into overdrive usually over something trivial. I find I have to get up and find something to do.

Lots of people seem to keep a diary so I think I’ll do that  from tomorrow, it will give me something to refer back to. I know I’m a lot better than I was in Feb/March when I was so muddled all the time but it’s not easy to accept sometimes. 

Anyway that’s enough of the whinging. Onwards and upwards. Looking forward not back.

Not long until ‘Strictly’ 


Hi Ann, Colin often posts about different types of sleep, so something definitely changes post-stroke, same with tastes and textures.  These new feelings aren't set in stone, and may gradually change again over time - always new surprises!  

Quiet day for us, just catching up on sleep we've missed during the week - saving my energy  for Strictly, even though I can't bear to think that someone has to go - they're all so watchable -  mind you I do a pretty mean cucaracha, and you should see my cuban breaks - eye watering  ?


I've kept a log and found it invaluable - it began as a food log, as my husband just wasn't eating enough to keep a sparrow alive, and it gradually became a record of everything.  Sometimes it was mind-numbingly repetitive, but then there were breakthroughs, which would probably have been fogotten if they hadn't been recorded - I can recommend making the effort.  

My beautiful sister-in-law died of a brain tumour the day before her 49th birthday, so I try to channel her strength and to think how much she would have loved to have been here to see her son and grandson grow up, so I feel I owe it her to buck myself up!!

Strictly ... bring it on, let's get the party started ??

I like the thinking. Bella! Bella!☕☕☕

Ciao! Ciao! ☕☕☕???

Will definitely keep the log I think it will help now my memory is settling.

Thats a wonderful tribute to your sister-in-law, needed a tissue warning but that’s just how I am today.

Ive got a bottle of white Zinfandel for tonight’s ‘Strictly’ so roll on 7:20.

Hope we both have better night tonight.

Take care