Where’s me gone ?stolen in the night gone in a flash xx

Hi all my name is Sara I suffered a server stroke March 2017 I was 48 

there is no right time for a stroke I had spent the past 20 years bringing my 3 beautiful children up as a single mum up working 2 part time jobs and running an all Vera business which I still do now but on a part time basis and a cake decorating business plus teachingcake decorating  in the community and going into special needs schools to do cake decorating my twin sons were in full time collage and my daughter was busy working too so from being a very close nit family and a hands on mum as they ventured out to collage and work I felt a void as they weren’t so dependant on me for 20 years I hadn’t really thought about myself putting the children first taking on more work for the next lovely holiday or just working hard to have a lovely lifestyle to fill the void I started to go to a gym this led from once a wk to ending up going everyday I did this for many months until in the end I lost 3 stone I then started boxing to get toned up and on the spur of the moment I booked a villa for  a 3wk Florida holiday so we would all have complete quality family time so there wouldn’t be any interruptions being called into work and so on as well as attending the gym everyday I was then also going boxing most nites too do anything to better myself especially ready for our Florida holiday we flew on dec 21st 2016 until January 9th 2017 on the 10th I drove to a conference I’n london which I should never of done due to jet lag but this is how I always was ,busy bee free as a bird always on the go anything to build up my business..we had the most amazing Christmas and new year that we could ever asked for we took a few wks to settle back in to work collage etc and get over the jet lag and also adjust back to normality we were all on a high for many weeks after our amazing Christmas and started to all go in our own separate ways of life again I was back at the gym and boxing loving it and felt really good about the way I looked I’d not looked that good in years I started to realise this was going to become the next faze of my life and I would be more focused on the new me and maybe even get a boyfriend I had never had time for one before being so busy with the children but now I felt good looked good and was ready to get back out there on the dating scene on the 21st of March i woke up with a dreadful headache showered And went and did my morning job of transporting children to school by 915 by 930 I was at the gym doing a beach body training session by 11 I was back home showering and changing ready to go and collect my 1130 children which was done by 12 head still banging I had to wear sunglasses so back home change cars and go to my school job by 1230 230 back home change cars for 245 and go to my driving job picking up for 3 pm for all the children from the special needs schools in my area was home by 430 have a sandwich change open deliveries and prepare orders for customers to collect or for me to deliver I hated an empty house so would get changed into gym wear load the car with orders  for my customers and head off to the boxing gym for 6pm 715 session over so I’d go and deliver my customers orders this was more or less every other nite get home around 9pm again to an empty house the twins also had evening jobs after collage my daughter lived with her wonderful boyfriend I’d would have a bath and chill out catching up with phone calls to family freinds and customers have supper and wait up for the twins to come in this was my typical week  day. Next morning March 22nd I woke up Day 2 with the same raging headache wev never been a tablet family and we were hardly ever unwel I had never had a headache before and didn’t want to bother the doctor because of a headache by the end of the 3rd day of headache I stared feeling sick with it and had to wear sunglasses even indoors my boss phoned me with an extra job said he was calling over to see me and told me to take the next morning off insisting I saw the doctor as he could tell I wasn’t my cheery self on the phone I couldn’t be bothered to talk I went to bed when the twins got home at around 1115 woke up again 23rd day 3 with raging headache but didn’t want to let my boss down and the children by going to the doctors I thought it would just ease off and knew that by having one driver down it would cause havoc having to reschedule everyone’s days plus unsettle my autistic children as they like routine and would hate another driver turn up for them this would have a knock on effect for them all day so I called my boss said I’m fine and off I went did all my work duties but didn’t attend the gym  and didn’t go to evening boxing I just came home got change delivered my aloe Vera orders to customers came home held my head in my hands and layed down on the sofa the next thing I knew was I was being woken up by the twins around 1130 my eldest twin Cameron said mammy there’s something wrong  he said ur mouth looks funny uv had a stroke go and look in the bathroom so I went to the bathroom but didn’t look I came out and he had put objects on the island in the kitchen and he said come her and pic these up so I walked over a little wobbly but I could walk I started to pic the objects up but my coordination was slightly off and my hand was dropping the objects realising something wasn’t quite right I said  my youngest twin Scott said il get the car warmed up ul have to go to hospital but I said no call an ambulance to be on the safe side which Cameron did he told the operator my mums having a stroke but the operator didn’t believe him we live 5 minutes from the hospital I started to go upstairs they said mammy wear u going I said I’m packing a bag they are going to keep me in so I packed my bag was walking around fine talking we waited over an hr Scott went to pic up my daughter Cameron called 999 again went through the same thing same questions and operator not believing him he was then told to go out the front to wait this would mean leaving me in the house alone so he phoned my neighbor who came in to wait with me what should of been an5 minute journey for the ambulance to get to us tfaster with sirens and lites going took over 2 hrs I was still talking walking speaking vision fine the last thing I remember was getting into the ambulance and joking with the paramedics and talking about Florida to them that is the very last thing I remember about my old life I must of blacked out for about 10 hrs the next thing I remember was waking up paralysed and with no vision not even a blur I could hear that I was in hospital by the sounds my right ear was hypersensitive so everything was really amplified so loud it hurt and took over my thoughts I knew the children were around the bed I could hear them breathing and smell their aftershave and perfum I didn’t let on that I couldn’t see as I didn’t want to freighter them , I didn’t know if I was dying was my body shutting down was I half dead or had i I died and only half of me had woken up I just didn’t know and could scare the children I could tell by their voices they were in a state of panic .. we are a love u family  the end of every call every time we go out the door since they have been very small we have always told each other we love you   So I tried my hardest to get the words out tears slowly running down my cheak and holding out my right arm to grasp one of their hands I manage to say I love u you all know how much I love u don’t you? ..as one held my hand ...yes mammy we know ..in my heart I really thought I was saying good bye I told them that I had loved every minute bringing them up and I was so proud of the amazing ppl they had become flashing through my head were thoughts like I’m not going to see grandchildren I’m not going to see them get married and I’m not sure if it was a dream or in my thoughts but I saw my father he had his big long arms stretch ed out to me like welcoming in me into his arms deciding do I to how do I walk away fdaddy or do I go to the children such a heart rentching decision but here I am I now know I would never be to scared to die because I know those big long arms will be waiting for me  sorry for the very long introduction ???keep going never give up and always remember there’s ppl going through worse than ourselves xx

Wow, you have certainly been through a lot! You sound like such a positive and determined person, and that you have a very loving family around you, which will certainly keep you going! smiley

Thank you for your introduction - keep up the positivity and your recovery will happen!

Take care