When to say yes, when to say no!

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Well here I am 80 yrs (so middle aged) and trying to learn new life strategies.
It seems from reading on here that I got off very lightly. I had a “breakthrough stroke” as I have been on anticoagulants for years. No change in meds, as apparently, none of the possible options have been researched sufficiently.
This week I feel better, noted by hubbie as minor nagging has recommenced, mainly about his health!!
Things I’m learning

  1. I had already started saying NO with no explanation needed as I am have been involved in various voluntary jobs. Now I am trying to explain,yes, I look good BUT the little grey cells require lotss more rest, more often.
  2. Quite apprehensive today as I met a dear friend (retired nurse like me, not an advantage at times) for coffee. After an hour, in a busy cafè, I just said I think I’ll go now. It wasn’t easy as she had a 30 min drive to meet me, but she was fine about it.
  3. Recognising my rest needs but not being put off doing things because of my anxiety. Out for lunch with 5 friends yesterday but hubby there and all our age and aware of my stroke and I could have left early but in the end was fine.
  4. Accepting the uncertainty of whether days will be good or not so good, adapting to this
  5. Trying to accept which things are mine to control ( e.g.what we have to eat) and what is not i.e. what is part of recovery process and what is me overthinking things.
  6. Hooray for snoozes, meditation and mindfulness oh and knitting,but abit more laborious at the mo!
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Learning to say no is something that I really struggled with. I find it easier now but still can’t do it at times. The people around me though,in the main, understand I can’t do all I used to & make allowances for that e.g. when the girls get together we get together earlier because I can’t stay awake past 9 in an evening now :grin:

I had to smile about the minor nagging being a sign of getting better. I think that was a marker for me too as initially noyhing bothered me as it was too much effort. Now I’ve started nagging a little too :rofl::rofl:

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Maybe have a read through “40 Things A Stroke Survivor May Need” some of your points resonate. Also Welcome - what we wish we’d heard at the start. You may find some of the information useful going forward, for sharing with loved ones as it gives them some better understanding too :slightly_smiling_face:

Lorraine
Stroke Improvement Group

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Thanks Lorraine, I will have a look. Still finding my way around so links a big help
Wendy

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