What to do!

Hi Everyone,

How are you all doing? I am 6 months post stroke, I feel like everything has stopped. I feel so drained after doing things. Gets me irritated! I want to go back to work but I don’t think they can really help me. So might have to give that up​:see_no_evil::thinking::smiling_face_with_tear:. Don’t know what else to do or I can do. What a change to my life. But glad I have life. Would some advice on a few thing. Does anyone know which life insurance companies are good for after a stroke?


All I can say to you is to tell you to be kind to yourself. There is no need to fight that feeling that you need to rest. It is exactly what is needed.

One day you will feel energised, that is the time to act, but then you will suddenly be drained and require rest again. Roll with it, don’t expect too much, gradually you will see it is coming together. Come on the forum have a rant or a moan, the others here know all about that. We want to know about your successes and triumphs too, so don’t forget to write about that.

You could try reading here, there’s a huge amount of information written by folks like us who have trod this same path. You might find parallels with what you yourself are experiencing.

Create a thread and ask a question, we’ll try to give you an honest and true answer drawn from our own experience. Some of what you will learn is better than you can get from a professional who has no personal experience of his (or her) own.

That is enough from me

Keep on keepin’ on
:smiley: :+1:


@Bobbi thanks for the encouragement. I am trying and it’s just feels so long right now. I have been told to plan but nothing is going to plan. I can not wait till I can put some good news out here. I can breathe and I am happy with that. It could have been a lot worse. Do that good news. I have a good support network that’s good but I swear I drive them crazy.

I am going to keep going and take ur advice too. Thank you and sorry for my ranting x


Keep ranting, its only saying what you really feel and it is good to get it out there. While I was in hospital a story went about that any real progress occurs in the first four months. After that improvement is supposed to tail off.
Well that is a load of rubbish.
Unfortunately I believed it and after six months at home, bed and chair bound with no sign of improvement I was sure I was going to be a basket case for the rest of my life. The only thing that happened was a long period of resting which I think maybe I needed as part of my recovery. The other thing that happened was I did a lot of thinking and became very depressed as I was under the impression there was no hope for me.
One day my wife came down to me and positioned my wheelchair close to the bed so I could transfer into it. She sat in the chair a few minutes while we talked.
Suddenly I thought , ‘Sod this for a game of soldiers’
and I said to her ‘Watch this!’
I swung my legs over the side of the bed, stood up and walked a couple of steps to my commode, parked nearby, picked up my dressing gown which was draped over it and managed to put it on then turned back to the bed where I sat down.
I had walked. Never mind men on the moon I had walked on planet Earth. My Mrs had a lovely smile on her face and I just wanted to cry.
Then of course I fell over a few times, sometimes it really hurt but the walking, with some help continued. After twelve months I now do a regular wobbly walk around the house. I’ve very recently been able to get upstairs.
Last night I managed to get my fist to clench which means I’ll be able to grab hold of things. I am still disabled but have made a little progress and I have faith that there is more to come.

So yah boo to those who said there wouldn’t be much improvement after four months. I ain’t finished yet.

. . . and to you @Caye , be kind to yourself as I say and you will be happily surprised.

There are lots of kind listening ears here who will encourage and support you, so speak up. No need to apologise, we are in this together.

Keep on keepin’ on
:smiley: :+1:


Yes Caye what a wake up call, But we survived after six months I was having same feelings, and trying hard to make sense of it all. Bit by bit plucked up courage to test myself and dip a toe in water with mixed success . Understanding fatigue was hard work, but keeping a diary helped ,and to this day, two years on still get caught out. But am now in good place and surprised with what I can now do. Driving your support team mad at times , echoes with me. but now much less of problem. And generally more laughter :face_with_hand_over_mouth: than tears. A good rant rave and swear when no one was in earshot helped in early days but those days are getting much fewer. Keep posting, asking? We are the best people to consult.


Thank you @Loshy and thanks again @Bobbi for both ur encouragement. I know we can improve and it may at sometimes surprise us. So looking forward to that. Just wish the fatigue would do one and I know my walking will get better. It takes time. Your story made me smile Bobbi, what’s an achievement and go you. :100:


Lol thanks, my rants will get me kicked out by my support network lol. We do have a lot of lol but I think it’s becoming a lot for them, hearing lol. I hope I can one day get back to work but not sure. Lol I think I also talk to myself lol when I am ranting lol.


Talking to yourself helps. Would also list the positives, aim at ten .:heavy_check_mark::hugs: life’s not that bad, would often do this to lift spirits.


@Caye it may not feel like it but it is still early days for you yet. I had horrendous fatigue at your stage & thought work would never becan option again. It was 17th months but I am now back at work part time.

Stroke recovery requires bucket loads of patience, perseverance & determination.

You’ll get there. Be kind to yourself.

Best wishes



Hi @Caye No you haven’t stopped, you’ve merely reached the 6mth plateau. That’s just your brain taking stock of where it’s at, taking a breather. And the next part is of the climb is going to be taken at more sedate pace which, hopefully, should ease some of the fatigue.

You worked in the NHS, doing long hours you said and what happened? Your brain went bang! It was telling you something then, well now your brain is in charge and you need to start listening to it. The fatigue is there for a reason, to stop you from overdoing it because that could kill you! It’s telling you you can’t go back to your old ways. Part time might be better suited, if your brain can trust you not to try overdoing it again, can you do that in your area of work at the NHS?

You need to start developing more hobbies and interests outside of work now. I’ll always recommend to gym just because I’m addicted now :laughing: Voluntary is another option, there’s loads of option there you could choose from. Anything to break the monotony and from getting bored it would also lift your spirits, think positive! There are daytime social groups you could look into and walking groups. I don’t know how old you are, but there’s also Age UK for the over 50s. They have lunch groups, creative & leisure activity groups and physical activity classes…I take my MIL to one of their strength & balance classes…also for my benefit too :wink: Their local websites also list voluntary posts available if you’re interested/able.

Life insurance I don’t know much about, I tend to leave those things to my hubby. He could have me insured for squillions and I wouldn’t know it…but he hasn’t bumped me off yet so I guess not :laughing: It must be love :blush:

Be patient but above all be kind to yourself!

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Thank you it does help lol

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@EmeraldEyes Wow wow wow. This opened my mind. My brain going bang. But I understand u. My walking needs to get better and I am just under the age group. You have opened my mind for options. But re the nhs I am not sure I can go back because my shifts I am on my feet for 12.5 hours. Stick having to use a stick so not sure when I will be free from that. But am trying.
Thank you for ur advice.

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Thank u will try. This feels so new. But will get to grips with it all. Take care x

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Well, now that the brain has got the basic fundamentals of walking, all its going to take you is lots of practice. Once I got that sorted, I could go out on my own, I made sure I did at least an hour a day every day for the next 6mths…well we were in lockdown at the time. But once that was over I joined a couple of walking groups and now I can do at three hours steady walking, 4-6 miles…I take a hiking stick with me for any steep inclines 'cos balance is still a bit iffy :wink:

When you can’t see the woods for the trees…just chop out the dead wood :smile:
Or come on here and we’ll help you find it :laughing:

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When I get to that stage I will let you know. Excited😉