It is now just over two years since I suffered a stroke at the age of 46. But I am really struggling, in recent months my anxiety levels have gone through the roof and I keep being hit by waves of panic attacks. I really worry where it is all going - life feels out of control and very uncertain. I keep kidding myself that things are getting better, post things on social media that makes everyone else think I am doing great but it all feels like a big con, to myself and everyone around me. I come up with ways to temporarily bury my issues only for it to come roaring back and I know that those issues haven’t really gone away and are just lurking under the surface. I was forced to give up my job after struggling to return to full-time work and am trying to work on a self employed basis part-time but am finding it all very hard if I am being honest. I am lost and worried and not really know where to turn.
Sorry to see that you are struggling so much. It sounds like things are really tough for you.
My advice is to try being honest with people rather than trying to keep everything hidden. In my experience people are often happy to listen and help but you need to ask them and be honest with them. Bottling things up can often backfire in the long run.
Returning to work after a stroke is difficult. I returned after 18 months and never made it back full time. I struggle a lot with fatigue but so far have stuck with it…….probably to my own detriment. If you’re struggling can you look at what financial help you can get and maybe have a break from work for now. You can try again when you’re feeling a bit better. Did your employer make reasonable adjustments for you?
I would also speak to your GP about your panic attacks as they can help you get them under control.
The stroke association have a here for you service where they can match you up with someone in a similar situation to you and they’ll phone you to have a chat weekly. It might be easier for you to talk to someone like that rather than people you know well. You can find out more here:
Hope things start to settle for you soon.
H Rufus-- I had a lot of anxiety following my stroke as well. I felt like I was living under a worry cloud. Was I going to have another stroke? One thing that I did was to have a few visits with a counselor (counseling psychologist). Just talking things out with her helped a lot. But she helped me with some very good tips. First, “no one ever died from a panic attack”. She provided me with s list of mantras to tell myself when I felt anxious. Things like: This is just a temporary feeling my body is having. It will pass. It always passes, and soon I will be feeling much better." “I am really okay. This is just a feeling and will pass soon.” I reminded myself that I saw the doctors, am taking the necessary medications to prevent another stroke, I know what to do, I am eating healthy and I am probably healthier than I ever have been. My favorite mantra that my mother taught me I use daily: “Every day in every way I’m getting better and better.” Every time a doubt creeps in I SHOVE it out with a mantra. You know, the subconscious mind takes direction from your conscious mind, so you must constantly program it with positive suggestions, with the outcomes you want. Right now I’m under some stress with problems with a family member. I kept dwelling on the problems and it was making me depresssed. I finally decided ENOUGH! I memorized the 23rd psalm and say it in my head every time worrisome thoughts pop in it. Well, I hope some of the things I did will help you. You surely are getting better and better every day, even in spite of your anxiety. Don’t let your anxiety rule you. Do something about it. Get some help. You’ll be in my prayers tonight, Rufus. Know that you’re not alone. 
Jeanne
@Rufus It seems like you are giving yourself anxiety. Are you worried about something? I had stroke in Nov 2024 but I do not worry about getting another, If I do, then so be it. Don’t go through life not enjoying it and why do you post on social media that everything is ok when its far from not. Forget social media and get on with your life. Do you have a partner or good friends as people are there to help. I wish you well, I am originally from Glasgow so I don’t do sympathy, i do empathy and encourage people to shine. Good luck 
@Rufus ,I too am having anxiety (for different reasons). I’m stressed out because of my mum’s stroke. For me, not been there to help her freaks me out somedays. Try to remain calm. If you have friends and family near by, talk to them. Also, try to talk to your boss. I’m sure he/she will help you. If not, then blow off steam on this site or CarersUK.org.