My lovely mum had a stroke 2 weeks ago. She has ended up with speech aphasia and limited movement in her right arm. Thankfully she has full use of her legs and her memory is all ok. Her recovery has been amazing but still upsetting to watch however most importantly we are very proud of her. She is due to come home on Thursday and is very keen to get back to her own surroundings. I am looking for some tips or ideas on how I can help her being she is very independent, is it just to help her build her confidence again? Or is it just being there?

Watching a loved one have a stroke in front of you is so frightening and I think it will take a long time for us all to relax and feel confident that mum is ok. 


Just be there for her. Don't be pushy don't crowd her too much don't be so emotional. let her be herself in her on time. if she is a very independent person please let her do things in her new way. people with stroke looks perfectly fine but inside there mind and body everything has been shattered its painful and fatigue is there to remind them in every second of there life that they had stroke. it's very very overwhelming.

She will not be same again and please stop reminding her what she used to be because she is fighting within herself already. With time she will rise again as a new person.

Stroke is an extremely slow recovery phase.  Can take years. Just do those things which make her relax like watching films or stroll in the garden whatever she used to like to do but if she wants to be alone let her. Remember our pride gets hurt, till today I have not asked anyone to do cleaning or cooking for me. I was crying last night with pain but before going to bed I cleaned, iron and cooked after a day at work, woke up with terrible pain but typing this while in office.

Since I came back from the hospital I am doing all this by myself my family does not know anything about pain. Because I want to live as before I don’t want anyone interfere in my life I have two young boys to look after when my pain goes beyond my bearing I do start screaming but then I know I will make things much worse. So I try to quickly finish everything and tell them please do not disturb me but here a little joke for you: after finishing everything with pain and all-around 8 last night  I was about to faint with pain and tiredness I went to bed…….after 10-20 minutes my 16years old start shouting mom mom mom please come here there is “Daddy long-legs” here then I shout there is spray use that, Mom  I did now he is on floor and his legs are twitching… I tried to ignore and told him he can't fly but then he was stuck in the kitchen, he screamed again …I have to get out of bed pick the poor thing up and flush it… (my both boys have a phobia with flies, mosquito and all)


She will be fine soon but it will take time, It has been seven months for me but pain and fatigue have not left me yet. Start her counselling her GP would not do anything you have to push and educate them. It is very important. And also keep forcing her to drink water in the day time. One medication which we have to take its called Atorvastatin please keep eye if your mom starts having terrible muscles pain ask her go to reduce the strength of it.

God bless her with strength and keep her mind positive.  And we all are here for you.

All the best. xx

Thank you for your advice. You sound like you are on quite a journey and sounds like you are doing an amazing job, especially with children.  I have 2 young children and know how hard it can be sometimes. It is certainly a minefield of emotions and frightening how something can just change your life within minutes.

Stay strong and thanks again 

You are most welcome. I hope my previous and this response does make sense.

Like all the other good and bad incidents, stroke changes our lives as well. But changes we get from stroke is permanent not like other changes which are for time being.


When my consultant told me that my damage in brain and vision is irreversible I really want to put a full stop to my story. But now here I am trying to carry on with left over….

Hope your Mom sees the beauty of life all over again. Read her poems or let her enjoy some soft music.


All the best for Thursday. Xx