I thought that I was further down the recovery road than I truly was, but life came back in full karmic mode and bit me on the bum. Now glad it really did that.
After my stroke was lucky walking, talking with limited after effects so much so at 4 months in went back to work, thought I knew better but no symptom and got near full power in my arm again so what was the worry?
I ignored the biggest issue my anxiety because I was brought up to be tough and get on with it, no complaints and keep going.
So back at work and doing phased return get an eye infection but it caused light sensistivity and extreme headaches this worried me but went back and told - absent again and its disciplinary for you. Brief and tense discussion, hey boss stroke is a disability so doesn’t count as sickness see the equality act. Answered with: I’ll check with HR and get back- still waiting on this answer today.
I work in an emotionally charged environment not great for a neuro diverse stroke recovery. But I’m good at what I do, so after 5 months at the weekend end up in an ambulance from work felt my head was going to explode with pressure, couldn’t form a speech sentence, taking minutes to just speak simply. Scared my colleague witless.
I got 32 hours on a trolley in A&E in another health authority 3 days in total as in patient but the physio team were amazing. They asked me why I was being so silly? Not rudely but given from them I’m more than clever, articulate and pleasant as well as informed know my role and fought so hard to rehab why was i trying to destroy all this?
First time I admitted I was afraid, not of stroke but of being more different, being left behind, being weak or seen as such and for generally not listening to my body and to those who really know and care for me.
But the relief has been immense, work may go and something different replace it that’s fine but more importantly it’snot my time to go so now just waiting on MRI as the CT wasn’t conclusive but really listened for the first time this time full and proper rehab, learn to talk and get support and here is a good place to start, get fitter- step by step not too full on , sleep better, eat better and generally live a slower more fullfilled life.
You’re making the right decision. Your physical and mental health are so much more important than any job, and an employer who will threaten to discipline you for having a stroke just isn’t worth the trouble. Wishing you well with your (second) recovery.
Thanks for this harimanjaro i have already told him I’ll be waiting with my trade unions disability team / rep if needed hence the radio silence. Additionally HR asked why they weren’t briefed about my missing weekly meetings since my return. Simply put they never happened so they know I’m in front just now.
TBH its possibly time for a change anyways but I’m good st what I do.
Can you do it somewhere else, for a more understanding boss? If so that might be a good target to aim for.
@Jbob
My heart goes out to you. I wish you a good recovery and now you are taking it slowly, you have a good chance. Good luck 
Have a less stressful life you deserve it. Money makes the world go round but does it keep it going. NO. IM 58 had a good job ,not able to do it again yet but considering how stressful it is not sure if I want to do it but have a mortgage so have to do something. I would do most things as long as they aren’t stressful and take away cut, not getting any help from universal credit as my wife earns twice as much as they give ,so living off one wage. Lost just under 50 thousand a year, we live to our means don’t we but I’m alive and I’ve got to believe I’m getting better. I’ve just had my 6 month checkup and told not to rush in to anything as I’ve been through a big trauma, as we all have so take a deserved rest and look after yourself. Good luck in new journey.
Russ
Thank you everyone, I am more than happy with my boss’s impending departure and have been speaking with his manager who knows I have been managed poorly. I work with kids in care and really love the job ( probably a bit of a big kid myself still).
But I’ve got a lot of living still to do, was initially a trained chef but that would be too hard to go back too now.
I have initially an 8 week fit note the hospital are putting plans in for support and counselling, so planning to enjoy my favourite autumn season and do a stock take. Part time would leave me a liveable lifestyle and happier one too so happy with this too, I’m super lucky as have now an open job offer from someone else who will taper my needs to suit a contract because I have skills they want. But this is a future decision right now slow recovery gentle activity and taking care of me for a bit, I’ve dedicated 30 years nearly to helping others so if I can’t help me who can I help, again gifted with a strong redoubtable family who will help a secon family here who know more about stroke recovery than most so should be good.
@Jbob sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Hope you are looking after yourself & starting to jmprove again.
I know wd all need money to live but no job is worth risking your health for. I didn’t go back for 18 months & never made it back full time. I have got used to the financial loss now and I knoe I couldn’t return to full time.
Absences due to a disability can still count towards sickness & people can still be ill health dismissed etc. But an employer has to have made reasonable adjustments etc to help maintain your attendance at work. And they should also be having regular meetings with you to see how you are getting on.
Use this time now to get yourself well and only consider going back to work when the time is right.
Best wishes
Ann
Thank you Ann, I had asked for part time recently as a reasonable adjustment to give me more time out to heal. I had been working on a well-being plan which wasn’t upheld in several areas namely regular meetings and some industry nuanced double speak, However it was not signed off by me and no regular support / meetings had happened so as such my boss’s boss hit the roof when he found out. Think he knows that they haven’t followed guidance.
Getting well is my only real priority just now, well sleeping like Bagpus too.
Maybe a dumb question, but did you take out any protection to cover mortgage payments in the event of sickness, inability to work or even death?
Good to know you have heeded the wake-up call and are prioritising what matters which is your health and your personal/family life.
Work to live, not live to work.
Thanks ManjiB, I always believed in working hard and playing as hard too. From a coal mining family of Irish immigrants proud of my heritage, however possibly that pride caused the fall. Being brought up to never take a step back, only ever had 3 days sick from school because if you could walk , talk and breathe you were good to go.
I am ok for finance too, lucky I know but since my employer breached their own safety plan they’ll pay up. And fully insured too.