So my wife had a ruptured brain anurysm in August 2022 at the age of 49. She spent 14 months in hospital and then came home to our adapted house, I had to build an extension for a downstairs bedroom, a wet room and alter the kitchen to make access easier.
She now suffers with apraxia, aphasia and needs a zimmer frame to navigate around the house or a wheelchair if we go out somewhere.
Over the past 3 years I have managed to keep working, my employer has been very good allowing me time everyday for hospital visits when she was in hospital and time off now for appointments. Since she has been home I have only managed to keep working with the help of carers who come every weekday from 7.30am until 5.30pm, but this in itself is hard to get used to, having strangers in your house all day.
I have now come to a point where I’m considering early retirement at 57 so I can spend more time with my wife and not have the carers coming in every day, I may try looking for part time work for a few hours per day to break things up a bit.
But what’s worrying me is the fear of boredom, I’ve always been quite active and I’m always looking for something to do, but if I retire and am home all day I would soon run out of jobs around the house to do. We have a cocker spaniel and we used to go walking him together, but being a typical spaniel he pulls on the lead so I’d struggle to push the wheelchair and hold the lead at the same time.
So besides going shopping and going out for coffee what else could we do together to keep the boredom at bay ? We enjoy holidays and have been on a few since she came home from hospital, but that only takes up a few weeks of the year, it’s the other 40+ weeks I’m worried about.
Stroke creates limitations, puts up barriers. Fear reinforces the limitation.
Look at what is possible. Explore those possibilities.
Create activity around what you can do.
When you are able - be active. Gently find ways to confront fear. Give and receive encouragement. Take pride in small things.
Write a story. Write about what you have done. Write about what you want to do. Write a diary, a blog, a letter, a book, a love note, a thank you note. Begin a journal. Write a forum post. Write a recipe. Start a magazine.
Take photographs. Share photographs.
Use pen and paper, use a digital device and keyboard., Use a voice activated device. Communicate with a carer, a partner, the post man. Start a stroke group, in your area, online. Share activity with others.
Start to live a little. Meet others who have been through this experience. Learn you are not alone. Make friends. Look into the future. Live today.
Look back without regret but move forward.
Live now, with what you have, as best as you are able.
Learn to relax, to enjoy, to see the funny side.
Realise you are allowed to be sad, tired, empty. There are low times there are high times, life is about all this.
Begin to find your own way. Try things, Share things. Smile.
Keep on keepin on
Had you ever thought about what you’d do when you retired from working? My husband plays golf so that could potentially fill quite a bit of his time when he retires. He’s also talked about getting a dog so he has a daily routine. Unfortunately since my stroke my options are limited but I’m happy to keep myself busy with my rehab exercises.
You obviously can use a computer ,so why not write a book? I have written three books via computer. One about my wife’s struggle with Asthma I had printed and tried to market direct, lost a small fortune! One other as published by Amazon and didn’t sell enough to pay me. The third is yet unfinished since I wrote them in the early hours of the morning when I couldnt sleep and now having solved the sleeping problem I cannot find the time to finish it.
I am a keen but fairly unskilled musician. Having time to practice and the ability to study would be a great asset. Have you thought of picking up guitar or even keyboards? Fairly inexpensive models of either are readily available and the results can be very satisfying and even lucrative.
Regards
Deigh
@steveWc9
If you can afford to retire, do it. You will always find projects to do and you can also get a part time job that fits with you lifestyle or wok voluntary like I did in Samaritans. That was and amazing time. and I hope to return. Good luck 