I wrote a post a few years back about an incident involving my dog Molly. Well, I recently had an x-ray because I was experiencing some jolting nerve sensations through that shoulder, not painful but uncomfortable and a pressure in my head when I lay in the bed, particularly if my arms were directed in certain directions or when my cane hits the ground when I walk. Once the x-rays had arrived at the surgery, I spoke to my GP about the results. Turns out the fall had shattered my shoulder and broke my collarbone. I never went and saw anyone at the time, just doused myself in brandy and slept like a sleepy, sleep thing. So, can you imagine, after stroke, I have also had multiple cracked ribs, broken collarbone, mashed up shoulder, and yet I seem to, remarkably, be able to pick myself up again and carry on. Thatās not to mention countless other mentally shattering things that have occurred in the interim. I should be dead and buried by now. If I had a faith, I might have voluntarily opted for greener pastures by now, but it seems Iām just going to keep on taking the blows. If I believed in a divine being, Iād say to him/her/it ā¦ āIs that all you got? Is that all you got?ā
I donāt know where this post stroke journey is taking me, but I feel it is going to be interesting. I feel as if I have just got my brain back, and itās not the one I, originally, perceived to have ordered but it should get me through until I need to give up the ghost. It has, however, showed me how flawed the rest of the mechanism, hive, nest, system, &c is. I look more closely into the intents and follies of my fellow humans, perhaps my mirror neurones are now kaleidoscopic as opposed to just a mere reflection of my own thoughts and feelings.
I havenāt had any epiphanies post stroke, apart from the most acute desire to preference the senses; taste, touch, smell, sight, sound ā¦ and, as an addendum, sixth sense sensations. Other than that Iām about as useful to humankind and myself as an episode of Yes, Minister is to a toad.