I have always liked Mel Smith, indeed, just recently watched a programme on Ronnie Barker who is my favourite comedian and was surprised to find how incensed he was at Mel Smith’s send-up of him.
I was never a get up and go sort of person before stroke and now even less so. Sometimes, it helps me if I can mentally list the things I’ve achieved each day but my mind does become cramped with the frustration of having to give in to fatigue. I often get into the must do this, must do that cycle, and thought of it all exhausts me to the point of shall do nothing instead.
Sounds familiar. Many mornings I wake up feeling positive about what I’m going to do that day. Within half an hour, I usually know I’m only likely to achieve the usual mundane stuff like emptying the dishwasher, doing the laundry, putting the hoover round etc. But you know what? After reading what I’ve just written, maybe I should be expending my energy on something more enjoyable like going for a walk or visiting a friend. But then I have to factor in the effort of getting showered and dressed and working out what I can comfortably wear to keep warm because the stroke side is hypersensitive and doesn’t like being covered. Even baby soft teddy fleece can sometimes irritate. By the time I’m ready to go, I’ve had enough and need a rest.
Feels like so much time is being wasted and too much time to think. Running out of energy is a pain.
Exactly, fatigue is like that, when it is eased it lulls us into a false sense of carp diem , and then the next day, it blows like the wind, making every task an effort. With ambitious thoughts, sometimes all I manage to do is put out the recycling and open a tin of soup for supper.
