Hi @Strawbz welcome to the forum 
I’ve been thinking about your post a lot since you posted it but had no answer. I never know how to answer the “how does everyone cope” question but my knee-jerk reaction is always “I don’t know, I just do” when I read them. Though that’s not normally what I actually type 
But my “autopilot” is my best friend for such occasions as too many appointments/issues/whatever to cope with. I just shove them all in the overhead lockers, shut down feelings and emotions, switch on autopilot and just go.
Stop battling them and start managing them perhaps. Your post sounds full of battle weary fatigue. I’m type 2 diabetic diagnosed about 15yrs ago, at that time I was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and “borderline” menopausal whatever that’s supposed to mean, it was all an “age” thing 
I hadn’t even realised I had any “symptoms” for any of them until several weeks after I’d started taking medications for them and managing my diet and exercise a little more. I’d changed for the better and I wanted to keep it that way.
No more irritability, anger or rage, no more worry, sadness or depression/blue moments…at least nothing that’s unexplainable and out of the blue. These were all emotions I had to hide because there was absolutely no rhyme nor reason behind them, they would just happen…and I’m used to that with pmt 
They could come right out of the blue without the pmt and go again; but I’m a quiet person by nature so there was no way I was going to let those emotions fly without very good reason.
I suppose they were all symptoms of uncontrolled blood pressure, blood sugar and my “borderline” menopause. Because once I was correctly medicated all those negative, irrational emotions went away. The day I realised they were gone I cried happy tears for about an hour and my poor hubby just didn’t know what to do with me. But it was all good, so I don’t get lax with my medications, diet and exercise for that reason, I don’t want to go back on that over emotional rollercoaster.
I exercise a lot and I noticed changes in my blood sugar readings a year ago, as a result had my diabetes medication reduced.
I noticed I was starting to experience random unexplainable worry and irritability a few months back so I monitored my blood pressure 4 times a day for a week and sure enough it had gone up. When I saw my doctor, he increased my BP tablets and I’m back to normal again.
Both these condition can also bring on hot flush similar to menopause so that’s another sign I watch out for with the above.
I’m 2½yrs post stroke. Fatigue ended for me sometime in that first year. Coincidentally or not it was around the time my doctor put me on folic acid because it was very low. I do still occasional bouts fatigue, I just call them my nothing days, those kind of days I can barely read posts on here. That’s not so fatigue, not tired, exhausted or drained as such, it’s just my brain just stubbornly refuses. But at least I can provide entertainment for my family when I start trying to argue with myself 
I’m 61yr old semi retired housewife who just flat out refuses to let such things bother me anymore. I just go with the floe and keep my favourite autopilot handy
You on the other hand have a more vicious cycle to contend with pain…and that will have a knock on effect to your BP and becomes a viscous cycle particularly with moods. You may also benefit some from a nutrient boost perhaps; they are in high depend with your stroke recovery so you might benefit from it.
Keep on top of all medications and never forget to take them when you should; set them in a handy place, in a pill sorter if need be.
Keep all medical notes/letters/literature in one folder and divided into departments. Keep that somewhere handy for convenient access…forget aesthetics and keep it on your kitchen table if needs be
Keep all appointments in a calendar/diary be it on a wall or in your phone.
Stick a note on your fridge to check it daily…first thing every morning preferably.
Set phone alarms for appointments if you can so you don’t forget any.
Keeping all these things in order are another coping mechanism.
On days you have NHS appointments, maybe don’t plan for anything else while you are out because that can be draining. Just go to appointments, come home and put any medical notes in order in your file while you have a cup of tea/coffee. And then have a snooze for an hour or watch tv…nothing physical.
While your still in your first year of recovery, just the whole process of going, attending and coming home an appointment, all that entails, can be very taxing on the brain, it’s input/output is in high demand and draining to healing mind.
You only take one day at a time, your brain is not ready to juggle much more.
EDIT: Ok, sorry, I know I was writing a lot, just didn’t expect it to be this much, just bin it if it’s too much 
