Hello my partner is now 6 months post stroke.
Hes less sociable and doesnt want too go out.
Hopefully that changes xx
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It can be difficult to socialise post stroke but most people find in time that they socialise more. Start slowly and small and build it up gradually. Go somewhere quiet initially- too much stimulation can be exhausting.
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Yeah he doesnt want too atm Even when the weather is nice. As he feels the cold atm too due to blood thinners too.
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Many of us feel the cold more. I know I do. I just add a couple of clothing layers…vests and things that can’t be seen are often goos but I also wear a hoody or jumper when others are in short sleeves.
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It took me a long while to feel ready to socialise. I was wrapped up in my own thoughts and fears and didn’t really feel that I could give people the best of myself, or the attention they deserved. There was always that inevitable question, too: how are you now? It took me a long time to know the answer to that, and I didn’t really want to talk about it until I did. I’m sure your partner will get there, especially with your help, but it will take time and in stroke recovery terms six months isn’t very long at all.
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He may feel awkward if he has visible disabilities.
Does he have more energy at certain times of day? You could plan trips out for those times.
Would he find it easier to socialise at home? Maybe in the garden or local park when the weather is better.
It is important that you have some time to yourself. Try to find a way that you can get out.
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Hes got aphasia. Not visible but its the communication side.
Im trying to get him to go in the garden just to get vitamin D.
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When you suffer a stroke your confidence takes a battering and it takes a while before you feel up to venturing out. I used to hate everyone talking about stroke in my early recovery days.
Don’t give up asking and I’m sure with a little gentle persuasion, maybe a quiet coffee somewhere to start with, he will slowly become more confident and will enjoy socialising again.
Feeling the cold more is something that’s really common. I always make sure I’ve got a jacket or cardigan to put on, even in the Summer months.
Regards Sue
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Thank you for all of this.
Im just worried he doesnt want to go out so hopefully in time he will x
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I’m sure that as time moves on, this will improve I am now 3.5 years post stroke and I have improved during that period in terms of my socialising, saying that I still have good days and bad days when it comes to doing it
What I’ve found is to be kind to yourself and build in a rest the day after seeing people and being social
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Aww bless you. Hope your doing well in your recovery. And thanks for your advice
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@Clairekirby1990 , give him time. It’s one of the peaks and troughs he’s going through. Probably still dealing with what is going on. As a few people on here said, gradually build him up. Also, ask your doctor about vitamin C supplements. I’m told it’s a good alternative.
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I think I merely existed for the first year or so. Couldn’t cope with people or going places. It wasn’t so noticeable to even my family at the time because we were all in lockdown anyway. But the few times visiting was allowed, I was so done with them after about 20 minutes. It didn’t stop me from going on my daily staggers around the streets, but being carted off to appointments or shopping etc was always a trial I had to endure until I got home again. And things like cinema, theatre or concerts were a definite no no. If there was nowhere to escape to where I could be alone for a while, they were out.
5 years on, I now have more trouble staying at home 
My hubby recons I’m making up for that lost time 
I think maybe you should have a word with his stroke team, he may need reassesing, or have a word with your gp. Rule out anything untoward before settling on it being stroke and just needing time for the brain to recover.
I know he has aphasia but does he have full use of of his arms and legs? I forget what you’ve said in the past. Muscle is wasting while he’s sitting at home doing nothing. The more that’s wasted, the less you are inclined to do. It becomes a viscous cycle and things like depression creep in. What does he do in a day?
Lorraine
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Hi Lorraine.
His limbs are all ok.
In the day he will do stuff around the house if things need doing. And watch films.
Hes not motivated at the moment but ive been told that can be normal
Tomorrow we have his 6 month stroke review at the doctors.
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Hes also on anti depression tablets
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I found it difficult to socialise after stroke, there was the horrendous fatigue, inner anxiety with visual problems, limited scope for walking, auditory overload, difficulty following conversations, and on top of that I looked sickly as I went down to seven stone. Socialising is beneficial but for me it wasn’t a priority for at least a year (from memory). It was also difficult because I really only wanted to be around people I could trust, by that I mean people who were comfortable with me and my condition.
I also have to add that for the first six months or so, we were all in lockdown, so for that period, I didn’t have a choice.
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Claire - I feel this could be a good opportunity to discuss / review the medications.
I wonder if anti-depression medication might be suitable for him.
This is very much a personal view based on our long term experiences with medications and in the main we try to avoid them as much as possible and certainly if we do need to take them we try to make sure we are kept on them indefinitely. Long term use of medication in the main is almost certainly not a good thing for anyone. This is just a personal view, but I would ask you at least consider this.
Try and get a good update and forward plan during the 6 month stroke review session.
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The way I remember life after stroke for that first year or so, was that life went on around me, but I stood still…like piggy in the middle or ring-a-ring-of-roses. I was there, but not there.
My family always included me naturally, but I was disconnected from everyone and everything. I would have been just as happy if I was completely ignored. I didn’t have anything like depression, because I didn’t have any feelings at all, well, apart from laughter. People can’t recognise that or fully comprehend it. That’s one of those invisible disabilities that I couldn’t begin to describe at the time because I couldn’t speak or write. So the stroke experts and my gp were unaware of these things, family were unaware, so I learnt to fake a lot.
There’s probably much your hubby can’t explain because he can’t find the words or there are no words to describe them even if he could speak them.
Time and patience may be all you can give him but don’t give up. 6 months or a year from now will be a different, a much better story. You are young and strong enough to give him this time out in his life, it won’t be forever, you will get him back 
Stay strong 
Lorraine
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Thank you so much for all your kind words
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Thank you.
Next month we also have the stroke person phoning about a medication review too
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