Since my husband’s stroke we have tried to remain positive and do as much as we can to aid his recovery.
We had physios and speech therapists visiting from the hospital but that has now stopped and we are being passed on to the local community team where we are on a waiting list.
So we have had 5 weeks with no support. We have been working on walking with a quad stick, speech therapy exercises on You Tube, arm exercises and claw hand exercises. We also do leg exercises on the bed as well as massage.
We both feel progress is just so much slower than we imagined. He gets very down about this. There is not much you can do with just one working hand (which is not the dominant one!) and one working leg. He spends a lot of time in the wheelchair.
To be honest it is a real job fitting in all this physio etc alongside household jobs, shopping, cooking, admin stuff. And of course he does get very tired but I make sure he has a sleep every afternoon.
We are in the middle of organising for him to visit a gym to work with a trainer who has lots of experience working with people who have had strokes.
It’s such a terrible shame when these support services end/are withdrawn and then there is a gap while you wait for the next group/support sessions. These do not help the recovery process and I don’t know what can be done about it. We are survivors/carers can only do so much on our own.
Just to say, I think you and your husband are doing really well and as long as you can remain positive and carry on, you will get there in the end. As you will know by now, there are ups and downs and time is the main thing. Be patient and allow yourselves time out (both you and your husband should try and keep your energy levels up through good diet and sleep and physical activity).
It’s good your husband spends time in the wheelchair as I think it is better for the body and it’s good that he eats everything you give him though he does not seem to enjoy it as much.
When he sleeps in the afternoon, you should also take a rest at the same time - you are doing so much on your own and you should be kind to yourself
Wish you and your husband all the best. I hope the gym sessions work out for you as I am sure they are an absolute key element of the recovery process.
Trisha2- Progress in stroke recovery is very slow. In fact, it’s so slow, you really don’t see it. I used to keep a journal in a little notebook of what I did each day. If I hadn’t done that I never would have realized that indeed I was progressing. For a few days I would take a 100 steps with my walker. Then I was walking 125 steps for a couple of days and so on. Then with the quad cane, maybe 300 steps. then 325, and so on until it was with regular cane, then no cane. This process went on for months–and years --as I built up to a mile without a cane. While watching TV at night I did hand exercises and used hand putty. I had asked a stroke survivor friend how long it took for her to feel somewhat normal again. She said, " Oh, at least about four years." Knowing that, put me at ease. There was nothing drastically wrong; It just took time for my brain to relearn and grow nerve connections, etc. And that process was very tiring. But, I kept my mind focused at the light at the end of the tunnel. I had a mantra–“Every day in every way I’m getting better and better.”–which I chanted as I walked and in between times, too. It’s so important to give the brain positive messages. So, just you and your husband keep at it day by day. A journal might help him keep his spirits up and encourage reaching for the next plateau. Don’t lose heart! Jeanne
I absolutely understand exactly what you are going through. My husband’s stroke left him with no speech and no movement on his right side.
Only so many hours in the day to look at speech , physio, work and running a house!
Can i ask, was he put on antidepressants by the hospital?
I ask this because my husband’s progress was so slow for the first 12 months. It was only when i asked if he should be on these tablets was the decision made to slowly ween him off them.
The progress he has made in speech is amazing and his desire to walk again is fantastic since stopping those pesky tablets.
He has had a new orthotic fitted on Thursday and today we went to a shopping centre and he managed to walk around next and get a coffee.
He doesn’t want to use the wheelchair so i am confident he wont.
If we can get something going with his arm we will truly be blessed.
My message is keeping pushing and progress will be made. Best wishes and good luck!
It’s always worth asking what the medication is for and how long you should be using it.
Also worth looking out for side effects and the efficacy of the medication.
I totally agree with you that since your husband does not want to use a wheelchair, he won’t
With his determination and your support, things will work out - you are now on the road to full recovery. Believe it, I do !!
@Trisha2 you are doing a great job. It is frustrating but progress is slower than we would like. I remember saying in the earlier days that physio, exercises etc was a full time job & there was no time for anything else.
I then started to build the physio into doing normal things. Squats whilst putting the kettle on, toe lifts whilst sat on toilet, hand exercises whilst watching tv.
And don’t forget it is ok to take time outfrom time to time too.
Even in the morning as soon as he wakes up he does leg exercises on the bed and massages his poorly hand and arm. Always exercising when watching TV at night.
I cant stress enough this period is about not giving up youbhave to keep going and everything helps sit to stand weight bearing walk 10 minutes then walk 11 minutes everything he does builds the base for his future
this is me three years on I was the same as your husband
Wow, @Kevin83 just took a look at your Insta, what an inspiration!! Seeing you jog along brought a (happy) tear to my eye 20k steos is a great achievement too.
Never give up, and keep on keeping on are the two phrases I’ve picked up from the forum on my road to recovery. I’ve skipped my stretching and balance exercises in the mornings for various reasons the last couple of weeks and i can feel i have slipped back a bit in muscle tension on left shoulder/neck/leg. @Trisha2 your husband’s determination in doing his physio stuff all the time reminds me i need get back to it. Even though sometimes it seems fruitless it definitely does have a positive effect over the long term.
It’s ok to have a day off for bit of a pity party, he’s earned. Just so long as he gets right back on it the next day he’ll be fine. It’s just the brain’s fatigue and how it’s presenting itself, it needs a break to take time to process what it’s learnt. That’s how I always looked at it anyway
I think you are doing an excellent job it’s not easy to help someone and help them to stay motivated too as well as this must tire you too! So please make sure you get some “me” time to recharge your batteries instead of letting him rest and you charging around like a blue ass fly getting household chores done
Thanks. If he has a nap in the afternoon I often put my feet up and very often nod off too. That is so not like me. I have never been able to sleep in the daytime unless I am ill.
You might not be ill, but you will definitely be tried - so please do make sure you take the nap when you can. It’s good for you anyway, so it’s a good habit to develop
Jeanne
20k steos is a great achievement too.
