Sex should not be a taboo subject

I am posting this because personal relationships can be shattered by stroke and it’s after effects. It can alter relationships forever. I think the important thing to do is to talk about this with your partner. Intimacy can take many forms and if a relationship is strong, love will find a way. As I began to recover, I did talk this over with my partner and we have achieved sufficient loving intimacy. The danger is that neither party will raise the issue or that the non Stroke partner will end the relation.


My relationship fell apart after my stroke for this reason. Now I'm with another man and we have talked and worked together to sort it out and now my sex life is better than ever. Talking about it first is by far the best way

Very happy for you.


Has anyone found you’ve lost all interest in sex ? I think it’s the medication , as I’m a lady I have found the medical staff are not interested .

I find it very difficult, I am not interested at all! I have tried a number of times with my husband but it’s uncomfortable and it’s just not the same anymore! I find it very sad as I love my husband completely but I just don’t have a need for that and I don’t feel the same body wise. I worry all the time that he will leave me. These are the sort of things that they don’t tell you about and don’t talk about. I have been with my husband for for a very long time (21 year in total) and until my stroke 6 years ago we never had a problem. 

Hi Manthy

It is common for sex to become difficult and often, an embarrassing subject to talk about but no one should be afraid to ask for help if you’re having problems. It can be easy for the people in your stroke team to overlook problems with , but all of the doctors, nurses and therapists you work with should be able to talk about and relationships with you if you want to. You may find it helpful to talk to someone who specialises in and relationship problems. Ask your GP about the support you can get through the NHS. 

Again, it is very important for you to remember that although your stroke was six years ago, time does play a vital part in recovery and you should not push yourself too hard. I have linked to our leaflet Sex after stroke, which I hope you will find useful. The leaflet will provide you with lots of information on this topic, including reasons why this may be happening to you, but also different techniques you may consider using, as well as other organisations who you can contact for more specialised support around -

You may also find our leaflet stroke in people of working age helpful to help you learn more on what to expect in your recovery for someone in your age group -

I hope this helps Manthy, and you are able to discuss how you're feeling with your husband.

Take care


I would just like to say that this is the most information I’ve been given in 6 year. Thank you 

I would just like to say that this is the most information I’ve been given in 6 year. Thank you 

No worries at all - I am sorry the word has been blanked out, we are trying to get this put back. The system just recognises it as an offensive word, which it clearly isn't. 

Take care


I am a fit and healthy guy, do not smoke,drink and an a healthy weight… I suffered a stroke at the age of 33 while having sex with my now wife.
8 years on, this still effects me massively from a mental point of view.
We very rarely have sex as it has scarred the both of us.

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I’m Martin, I had a stroke in June 2020 aged 62, my wife could not cope with my disability and became alcohol and smoking dependent until she died a year ago. We did not ever talk about ourselves as she said that our relationship was over. Now lonely and disabled :frowning:

Hi Martin sorry to hear of your situation as a stroke survivor you have all of us and are not alone, keep positive and your chin up the road to recovery is ver long and slow, keep battling on always forward, there will be a companion out there for you somewhere so keep your eyes open and keep fighting .

Regards mark

I’m 37 and I had a pretty major stroke in February this year. All in all I’ve recovered quite quickly, I was in inpatient stroke rehabilitation until the middle of April having physio and OT and I’m continuing that with home visits. My left arm and hand are still the most affected parts of me but apart from that I seem to be ok. Up until now my partner and I had a very healthy sex life, but now I feel like he is scared to touch me. We had the same issue when I had a heart attack at 35 but managed to get over it. I’ve tried talking to him but he’s never been the best at communicating, I’ve also tried to initiate intimacy but having no luck and I’m not sure what else I can do! Any advice would be appreciated!

Welcome @LouCookson
Sorry you’ve cause to join us.
There’s lots of knowledge, empathy advice, shared struggles etc.
Seems to me that if the 2 of u talking doesn’t come easily and openly enough to work out a solution then some professional counseling is needed. The GP should be able to arrange and to suggest approaches that might be a gentle & inclusive start?
Apologies if I haven’t added to the ideas you’ve already tried.

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