Hello everyone
My Mum had what the consultant described as a ‘small stroke’ (not a TIA) 6 days ago. She spent 3 nights on the stroke ward and is expecting an appointment for an MRI and 72 hour ECG in the next few days. She’s doing well, but has some very slight facial weakness and is feeling quite fatigued so is moving much more slowly than usual needing to rest during the day.
She’s usually a really active and very young looking 78 year old, so this has been a horrible shock for her. Sadly she does have a tendency not to look after herself…
There’s a large family party in 4 days time some 2 hours drive from our home, and she’s very keen to go. I’m concerned that it’s too much, too soon. Ultimately I know it’s her decision, but I wondered if anyone had any thoughts on the suitability of so much travel and social activity 10 days after a stroke? I’d love to ask the stroke team, but until she gets her appointment through we’re left without any professional advice.
Any thoughts greatly appreciated!
I think she will find it very tiring. Is there anywhere she can go if she needs to zone out? Half an hour away from the party may be enough to refresh her.
Thanks so much for the reply. I’m going to see if somewhere quiet for her to retreat to can be arranged
Hi @Lem
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear of your mums stroke. These things do come as such a shock, not just to the person it happens to but to the family as well.
As you’ve said, this is your mums decision and she’ll know best how she feels. However we do have some information on fatigue which may be helpful for you all to read so that your mum can make an informed decision.
I’m sure they’ll be some more of our members along shortly to share their experiences with this too.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
Hi @Lem & welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your mum’s stroke.
I know after my stroke I was adamant I wanted to attend a xmas family meal a few days after coming out of the hospital. I got through it but was very poorly afterwards.
I suspect it will take a lot out of her but you could look for opportunities for her to sit / lie down somewhere quiet if it gets too much for her. Factor in some breaks on the journey. Also, make sure she rests in the days before you go & a few days afterwards.
Hope it all goes well.
Best wishes
Ann
Welcome to the happy band Lem. I echo the comments from everyone and I do think that the idea of a quiet space is excellent. I am almost two years post stroke and like everyone else, the F word (fatigue) plays a great part in our recovery. Now you mention the family party; I guess that this will be quite an emotional time for your mum. At times I can experience ‘sensory overload’ where I have the need to just get away to be quiet on my own. I think Mrs5K has mentioned this to you. I’m sure the family will understand if mum needs to leave the party just for a short while to recover. Maybe she might have forty winks too. The following days may mean that she probably will want to rest. You tell us that she is active and fit, however she will feel the need in days to come to build in rest periods to her day. I scoffed when my rehab team told me that. (I thought I knew best) but I soon found that it was necessary for me to rest even if it’s only for a few minutes between tasks. If she can build that into the party I’m sure she will enjoy herself. Please do let us know how it went? And save us some jelly and custard! Best wishes Norma
Thank you everyone for your support. It’s a real comfort to know that there’s people with lived experiences who are kind enough to share their advice. Thanks again
@Lem Hi, I’m sorry to hear about your mum. I had what might be termed a "small " stroke in March. I would echo what the others say. Ultimately it is firstly your Mum’s decision and she will feel very sad to miss a family gathering, I know I would be. I agree, that giving her somewhere to go for some peace and quiet is a very good idea. It is of course early days. I completely underestimated the impact of any social interaction, no matter how lovely had on me and still does in that my stroke symptoms are magnified again. She will doubtless feel more emotional too at the moment so be aware of this after her day out, which is probably today ? I really hope it goes well for her and for you and do reach out to others on this site. I have found it so helpful. Try and get Mum to get onto it if she can. Ps on the subject of “size” of a stroke. I read somewhere that it is best to avoid trying to label a stroke, because no matter what it is still devastating to have one. I have found it at times somewhat irritating when people remark that I was lucky it was no worst and yes I am but I’m not in the mood for feeling any sense of gratitude for having one even so.