Hi all
This is my first post as I am hoping to find some help the nhs etc has not been forthcoming with.
My mother had a brain haemorrhage in 2021 and then a stroke 11 months ago and is now wheelchair bound and needing full time care.
HOWEVER… she has lived the last few years in the USA. She is not financially independent so we have been covering insurance, care etc as is neccesary in US. We can no longer manage this and we want to bring here home to the UK. She is a Uk national, worked and paid taxes here her whole life before travelling and settling in US in later life.
Those we have spoken to say she will not be assessed for care needs etc until she is in the country despite us having full medical history etc. While we would like to we are not able to offer her the full time care or living space she needs given our living situation so are left wondering what do we do when we bring her into the country while waiting for assessments and a care plan.
As I say GP, nhs etc all say that we can not pre-arrange an assessment even until she is in the country which seems odd to us.
Has anyone been through this situation or similar and able to offer ANY advice we are at a loss.
Hello Rodders,
Sorry about your mum.
If you’ve tried DWP (very slow I know), try Citizens Advice, your local council who should help you as carers and her care package via a social worker when she is back in the UK.
She will need a local GP to help too, especially for an assessment or to recommend a stroke doctor for it.
Does she still have her NI number? That may help.
Be patient, battling the council, doctors etc. is tedious and mind numbing, but stick with it.
It does look like you will have to wait until she can be seen in person.
A lot of the guys here on the forum have a lot of experience and contacts.
Hey there
thanks for the response! I had not thought of DWP but will give them a call.
Spoke to stroke association today and they were not a great deal of help.
Just seem baffling to me that no planning can be done in advance of her arrival given her state.
I would try and get an appointment with your GP / local hospital stroke clinic doctor to outline your mother’s case and possibly share the medical records you have already from the U.S. Once you are on the stroke “pathway” you should get the care package and a social worker.
Great that your mum has you. My wife was excellent at getting stuff done.
Keep on, the road is arduous when dealing with social services etc.
Alternatively, there’s a private company called “helping hands”, they have branches all over the country, who could help in the interim. My wife’s ex boss used them for his old mum and recommended them.
I would have gone to them if my “means” test had taken me over the threshold for free care. Fortunately I was under.
Hi @Rodders
Welcome to the forum although as ever we are sorry that you have had cause
@Sma1512 has been battling very similar problems in some regards to the ones that you’re asking for help with so may be a step or three ahead of you
See their post
The suggestion of talking to citizens advice was a good one. I was going to suggest a stroke association but I see that you’ve tried them and not had very much help
The British consulate where she lives / or the foreign office helpline might be another port of call
Unfortunately you ask a not commonly needed question so we don’t have a ready made historical archive of answers .
If you get stuck after following these suggestions then shout again and I for one will put the thinking cap on and do a few searches
@Rodders Hi & welome to the forum. That’s a difficult situation for you & your mum. I don’t really have any advice but I wondered if yiu might be able to get a private assessment done? I know you’ll have to pay for it but it might be better than waiting until the NHS service will kick in.
@mikey903 has provided some good advice. Really hope you manage to sort something.
What is this “care package” ?? In May/June 2022 I had 10 TIAs and 2 brain bleeds, and couple days later, my husband decided to join in and he had a stroke … both taken in ambulance more than once, left in A&E for hours, never saw a doctor, just sent home with big dose aspirin … I made appointment with own doctor and she answered all the questions I had which I had written down … and got CT scans … then ? Nothing … no social worker … I myself got in touch with Stroke Association, and that led me to here which is the best thing out of it all … we both worked all our lives, my husband a retired ambulance medic… paid into the NHS all our lives …
That sort of care doesn’t exist now in our part of North East UK … it takes almost a year to get an appointment with a councillor and that is just on a phone … not for me, but happening to a friend who really needs to actually see someone … so I wouldn’t bother with them … I phoned the doctor this morning as my husband is just soo breathless at times " can he pop up and see me" he asks … my reply " nooooo he can barely walk up the stairs for a pee" … leaves him breathless … so doctor called out the “recovery team” … two nurses … who did breathing tests, set him up with antibiotics, and extra steroids to his normal ones, plus a nebuliser with liquids to use… asked him to go to hospital as his oxygen is low, but after his previous encounters he said most definately not … they looked at me, but it is not my decision, he is coming up for 80, still drives the car, and any repairs, still got all his marbles so to speak … but I realised few years back, they often don’t give a toss if you are our age … yes it makes me angry … we have no family close enough, so just us two, if he gets taken to hospital I am stuck as I cannot drive at the moment my hip is too bad, and I can’t walk far either so can’t trudge up to stand and wait for a bus and same coming back … that’s my moan for the day, I had better go off before I am asked to leave …
Sounds like youre having a tough time of it at the moment. I hope the extra meds for your hubby help him this time & he starts to get better soon. I think all / most hospitals are in a pickle right now but it may still be the best place for him. Of course thats his call and if he doesn’t want to go then hopefully they can treat him at home.
