Relationships and Strokes

I know over the last 4 years I have been on this site, a few marriages have been affected to the point of splitting up.  A lot of this had to do with their partners being unable either to accept, understand or deal with the affects strokes have on each of us.  

Last week, I waved goodbye to my husband of 38yrs who has now gone to start a new life in another country. It has been a painful 2 years for both of us dealing with grief of losing close family members, my husband having a heart attack and me another stroke with all the stress that has being building up prior to this.  We still both love each other but after much deliberation and trying on both sides, we have decided despite our love, we find we find cannot live together happily anymore.  He came to this conclusion after his heart attack when I almost lost him and me having another stroke after that. 

I'm not looking for any sympathy. I just wanted to say that I have now found an 'inner peace' that I haven't had for a long time and can live my life as I want without having to worry about anyone and anybody anymore.  I feel a huge sense of relief, albeit much sadness after such a long and happy marriage, that I now have only myself to look after and I know that my health is improving already without all the problems of having to explain why I don't feel like doing this and that or going here and there. Thankfully, I have some good friends who I know are always on the other end of the phone if I need them so I am blessed.

Strokes are a cruel thing to happen to everyone but sometimes it is harder for partners than it is for us.  


Dear Brenda


I don't know what to say to you, just wanted to send a hug, and lots of strength.

Hi Brenda - brave as always.  I'm going to send you a private message later, hope you can find it in "My Messages".  

Huge hugs ??

So sorry,I really feel for you both ,good news your health is starting to improve and I wish you the very best ..pippy x

Hi Brenda, so sorry to read your news this morning, it must have been a tough decision for you both but what strength you've shown. I'm glad you have a good support network around you they will help you get through this. Sending you lots of love. 

All the best des x

Hi, so sorry to read your post today. That's  such a tough decision  to come to for both of you. I do think it is so incredibly hard  for the partner of a stroke  survivor.

Stroke is such a massive  thing to deal with and as you are well aware  it's  a long  hard battle to recovery. I am thankful  every day  that my husband  has stayed  with me on this long hard road. I am forever  telling him that  I would completely understand  if he wanted to move  on  without  me, whilst crossing my fingers  and praying  that he doesn't. 

Enjoy your "inner peace" and embrace your new life ahead. I would like to  wish all the best for the future. Take care.

Regards Sue 

I am sorry to hear you have parted ways, health issues can be burdensome in cohabitation. 38 years is a decent run though, and I am sure you will remain good friends. Sometimes, dealing with issues independently can be empowering, and sometimes not, but hopefully your new found space to manage your symptoms will bring new positives into your life.