Relationship issues

Had my stroke whilst on holiday last October in wales spent three months in a rehab hospital, got walking fairly quickly and wanted to leave to get home to be the wife and kids but the Mrs had different ideas and we've been growing apart ever since, all I get is that she treats me like one of the children, despite having all my faculties and having just passed my driving assessment, but when ever I want to talk to her about anything she just shuts me down saying everything's different and won't talk about it, does anyone have any advice on how to move forward?

Hi- I'm Jeanne.  I'm no expert on marital issues.  But I can tell you that after I had my stroke 2 years ago in August,  I really benefited by going to see a psychologist for 2 or 3 months.  I was anxious, depressed, worried, having trouble dealing with what I was going through.  She gave me ideas of practical ways to deal with some of the issues, and it really helped to have someone  objective to talk things over with.  Medicare paid for it.  It was really a win win thing.  I'm so glad I went.  Maybe it could help you to have someone outside the situation to talk things over with.  It can't hurt.  Hope things get better for you.  Love, Jeanne

Nick, I am not an expert on relationships, but I do know that stroke affects both people in a relationship. I am much older than you but when I had my big stroke nearly five years ago, my partner was devastated. Firstly there is the fear of losing someone and secondly there is the emotional impact of having to face the fact that you might have to become a carer.

When I came home after rehab, my partner said, 'We've got nothing to look forward to.' I found that quite hurtful, because I hoped for better days ahead. All I could do was to try to work hard to improve myself. Bit by bit, we rebuilt our relationship and each took care not to stress the other. There were the odd outbursts though. At one point I did have to say, 'stop treating me like a child', but, generally, the more I could do, the happier my partner was.

If you cannot talk to your partner, please get professional advice. The Stroke Association helpline might be a useful starting point. I know there are others on this site who have experienced marital difficulties after stroke and will respond to you better than me. Best wishes.

Sounds like a simple misunderstanding rather than an insurmountable problem, this approach might help. Write out the issues that bother you so you can read it to your wife. When you have read it to her, give her the piece of paper & ask her to read it to you There is one rule you must both agree to, no interrupting the other one when they are reading when you have both read the passage to each other you can discuss it calmly & then do what you feel like doing Best of luck Hugh.