Relationship changed

My husband had a stroke 18 months ago. Since then he has made a good recovery with his mobility with some weakness. He has asphasia and short term memory loss. Our relationship has completely changed. Conservation is difficult. His personality has changed very obsessive over certain things. I feel so sad and just feel like a career not a wife. I’m also the main carer for my elderly mum who lives with us. I feel invisible. My family and friends are great but they don’t understand the changes.
How as anyone else coped? I live in the fylde and would love to speak to other carers in this area.
Thanks for listening


Hi Welcome to our friendly forum. I’m so sorry your husband has had a stroke and that you are also caring for your elderly mum. That must be so tough on you, I’m sorry I can’t be very helpful, I’m the stroke survivor. I would suggest speaking to the Stroke Association helpline, who might be able to help.

Hopefully someone here maybe able to relate to your situation and offer some advice.

Wishing you well and hoping you get some help soon.
Regards Sue

@Quick60 welcome to the forum. Sorry that things are difficult for you. It’s really hard to care for someone & it’s not surprising that your relationship has changed. Stroke can affect someone’s personality which makes it even more difficult. I’m a stroke survivor rather than a carer but I think @SimonInEdinburgh 's wife runs a carers online group that might be of interest to you. Maybe @SimonInEdinburgh can provide eome more details for you. I’ve tagged him in.

Wishing you all the best. I’m sure someone here will be able to provide some advice & support.

Best wishes.



Hello @Quick60 :slight_smile:
We met very briefly on wednesday when you were speaking to Lea. She isn’t in this forum but she does participate in the different strokes face book group
Thanks @Mrs5K :slight_smile: for the mention

I also posted support groups in

Stay strong, this is a good place to vent, to cry, to ask, to share


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Hello, I am a carer for my husband who suffered two strokes 18 months ago. I, too, find our relationship has changed and he looks to me for everything; when I seek his opinion on any family/house matters, he tells me ‘you’re the boss’. He tells me he loves me and when I ask him why, he says it’s because I look after him! It is difficult and I feel for you; I deal with it by trying hard to accept that this is the way things are now and by making sure I get out of the house now and then to go my own thing, even if just a walk. I’m lucky that I still have a daughter at home who is a great support. Good luck and best wishes.