Q & A This Japanese Doctor!

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(Didn’t know where to stick this it’s technically a funny but makes sense.)

This Japanese Doctor!

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

AND…

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

  1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

  5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Here you go if you fancy having a look at our funnies thread there are some really good ones on here also a few groaners.
https://onlinecommunity.stroke.org.uk/t/our-new-funnies-thread/

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I’m coming to the conclusion that this woman I married (her Hilaryness) is a very bad influence.

Ho, ho. It might be fun. I am sure fun should be on the agenda somehow.

keep on keepin’ on
:writing_hand: :smiley: :heart:

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That has made me guffaw thank you :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: i like his way of thinking :grin:

@Bobbi fun definitely has to be on the agenda somewhere.

Have a fun filled week both x

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:heart_eyes: :rofl: so funny thank you for the laugh

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I didn’t know where to stick this that follows. It’s about food but…
Okay so this will take you back a bit
In the 1970s and '80s, even the 2000s, homemade chips were a cherished staple of family life, crafted the old-fashioned way with a trusty chip pan sitting proudly on the stove. Potatoes were carefully peeled by hand and cut into thick, chunky slices before being plunged into bubbling hot beef dripping. The unmistakable sizzle and aroma filled the whole house, stirring hungry anticipation and making mouths water long before the chips were ready to eat. This was a time before convenience foods and gadgets—just simple ingredients and hands-on cooking.

The kitchen became a stage for a familiar ritual, as eager voices called out, “Maaa, are they ready yet?”—a call that echoed through homes and streets alike. Without timers or digital help, the perfect chip depended on experience, instinct, and a keen eye on the golden colour emerging in the pan. The first few chips were often snatched with singed fingertips, treasured for their crispy edges and soft centers, while the rest piled up on plates beside puddles of tangy vinegar and ketchup. The chip butty—chips tucked between slices of buttered bread—was the ultimate comfort food, each bite soaked with nostalgia and flavour.

More than just a meal, homemade chips were a beloved family tradition, a warm, golden slice of childhood served fresh from the pan. They represented not only nourishment but a moment of togetherness, where simple cooking created lasting memories. Those crispy, steaming chips carried with them the sounds, smells, and love of homes across a generation—a delicious reminder of times gone by.

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Too sinfully good, repent repent, this is blasphemy, obscene, shouldn’t be allow. I’ll be flagging this post…just as soon as I’ve finished chips :face_savoring_food: :rofl:

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Love a homemade chip. Our chip pan was laid to rest about ten years ago, partly my fault, as I was the one who had mastered the craft and was then expected to feed family gatherings. The labour that went into this was immense but the results worth it, albeit, too time consuming for me after a while. We kept the oil in the pan for as long as it lasted, until the oil was too brown to use again. Good greasy times.

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I know I’m norty @EmeraldEyes :rofl:
Oh yep the older the beef dripping the better the taste and the crispy bits. I’ve still got my old chip pan in the cupboard. Bob insisted that we bought one of those new fangled things called a deep fat fryer, it only uses oil, defo not as tasty but as he likes it he makes stuff with it, He’s made doughnuts & fish besides the chips. Not at the same time. On those days I have a day off, one job less. :nerd_face:

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Haha I just got a new badge ‘Nice Topic’ for me chip pan! :wink: :nerd_face:

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:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
Ah darn it, does that mean I can’t flag it now…I just knew I’d forget :laughing:

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Oh I remember those days well. We tend to have oven chips these days…just not the same.

I did set fire to my chip pan once though. Kinda put me off using it :grin:

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This is a place for nice bits… :wink: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: :nerd_face:

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You know that they helped build the pyramids!

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@Rups What helped, chip buttys or cats?

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Cats helped build the pyramid but I’m sure if the chip butty was around in those times, the pyramids might have been even more impressive.

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