I had a pretty bad car accident due to epilepsy and had a stroke because of this and woke up in hospital missing half my skull. due to alot of metal fixing in my arms and legs I was unable to have an mri to shape my metal plate so I have a bit of a wonky head. I can’t believe how much it affected me a couple of days ago when someone asked what I’d done to my head and it looked a bit swollen near my eye (just the shape of my head now). I’ve had my hat on since October in NE England and it’s been out of sight and I didn’t that day. it doesn’t normally bother me and feel like I’m being totally cosmetic but it’s made me feel really down in the dumps about how it looks. the hospital could definitely done a better job and tapped the dent out a little bit at my temple, luckily apart from loss of function of my left arm and a memory like an etch-a-sketch I’ve come away from it all pretty well, my husband doesn’t care and I don’t normally but it’s on my mind now and it won’t get out 
You have been through the wars! I had epilepsy due to stroke but not the other way round. I had an operation when I was a teenager which involve drilling through my head and left a long scar at the back of my neck. Luckily my hait has hidden it and only may hairdresser knows the truth. how long ago did it happen? You may be able to hide it with hair. As far as being on your mind all the time, I think that may go away given time
You can’t see my scar now I woke up to a strip of my hair missing and a very wobbly head my hairdresser was terrified when I got her to come into hospital and shave the rest of it off so it was all the same. My epilepsy started as an adult and caused the car accident which caused the stroke. I don’t do things by halves died 2x on route to hospital and am very lucky to be here. It’s pretty well covered most of the time with hair but couldn’t stand a longer side fringe in my eyes I think since he said it it’s planted the seed
You have reminded me of what happened to me. The hole in my head was hidden by a wig the NHS gave me. I went back to school and some bright spark pulled my wig off. I was lucky that the model Twiggi had very short hair so I didn’t wear the wig. You don’t say when it happened.
Hi Nicola & welcome to the community. Somewhere none of us wanted to be but we hope you find it a friendly place to be.
You have definitely been through it & good to hear you are doing well in spite of everything.
I understand how you feel about your “wonky head” & whilst it may bexa cosmetic thing it does have an impact on our mental wellbeing. I am sure the individual asking what you had done to your head was just curious & meant no harm but that doesn’t stop it bothering you.
A different situation but I was left with a scar after being in a car accident & everytime I saw the scar (which was every day) it reminded me of the accident & that was what hurt more I think. In time though I stopped noticing the scar & it no longer bothers me.
I suspect in time you will get more used to it & it won’t bother you as much & you may even come up with a funny andcdote if someone asks. But that will take time.
Best wishes.
Ann
Hi @Nicola
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your stroke, it sounds like you’ve been through an awful lot.
I can see you’ve already had some supportive comments about this and I hope you’ll find this community a helpful place.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
I’m just pleased my 6month old who was in the back (now 6) hasn’tgot a scratch on him from it and I’d take how badly broken my everywhere was for him being fine all over again too
I was told if people stared it is because you are so beautiful and they are so rude. Sometimes children stare and I hear them ask ‘Mummy why is that lady in a chair?’ I don’t mind children and explain to them.
I think wearing one’s scars with pride is no bad thing. My partner has a scar across her neck when she had the operation for a slipped cervical disc, it looks like she went for a shave at Sweeney Todd’s barbershop.
Hi @Nicola welcome to the forum, I’m with @Rups here to a degree mainly because I’ve auditioned for Darwin awards many times and have the scars to prove it. Facial scar due to skin cancer, more stitches than a tailors dummy - love of contact sports, martial arts and motorbikes.Broken bones surgery and resetting but after my stroke more reflective and learned to deal with people staring.
I think we get used to it, early morning workout in shorts ( very rarely do this)and a group of younger women were all staring at my scarred leg one decided to poke it to check it was real- yup I was a crocodile wrangler until I got bit was my answer.
I do sometimes get self conscious but have learned to accept its all part of me, some was on me for being young and silly other stuff just became part of me. And in today’s world feel it makes me look a wee bit unique.
I get kids asking their parent why has that man got a stick? I reply, three legs are better than two.
Worst thing is I didn’t know what he was talking about until I got home and looked in the mirror or I’d have just told him. I’m not known to be one for keeping my trap shut 
then I’ve not seen him since it’s probably good I didn’t realise I think he’d have been upset he’dmentioned it if I’d told him what it was really.
Hello
Is this the person who made the comment? I can dwell on things people have said years later. It stops me going to sleep at night. In fact I don’t think people know the effect a casual remark has on the person. It’s good if you can find a repost when it happens another time.
Yea he’s a really lovely old bloke gives my 4yr old a fist pump and always gives a shout and a wave over the road when I see him. I genuinely think he would be upset if he knew what he’d pointed out like I said it’s been under a hat a good few months now and was walking in the direction of the wind with my hair up so couldn’t really miss it. I know there was no malice in it, it’s just in my head now