Parent that has had a stroke

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Hi my names Dawn and in 2024 my mum was having a problem walking,feeling dizzy and falling,took her to the doctors and they referred her to the hospital for elderly care,sure a lovely doctor and as normal sent her for tests,and they changed her medication,so one of the test was a brain scan,few weeks later we received a letter with the results,results were that my mum had,had cerebellar stroke on left side,which left my mum and me totally numb and in shock,hospital weren’t that sure when this had happened,but this is what we were both dealing with,I am the only child so all the responsibility falls on me,not that I would ever complain about that,as she’s my mum and that’s how I’ve been brought up in my family that we look after our own,I do currently work full time as a support worker in the community ( DOM CARE) and have my own health issues,my mum aslso lives with me,my partner is really good with my mum and helps out all the time.My mum is on the road to recovery but it’s not going as quickly as she would like,she’s also had physio with the stroke team which we’re absolutely Fabulous with her,I can care for my mum and I always would,but things can be very difficult at times,she’s also can get very emotional,frustrated and can be very nasty with me,and can become very forgetful at times,which I can deal with but sometimes I can find it hard,I spend as much time with her as I can,I and I will always support her in anything she wants to do,she now attends a stroke club and our local football club ( stoke city) and I really can’t thank them enough for all there support and not only for stroke survivors but for the family’s too,and also the stroke association for there help and support

I’ve been looking for activity’s that would try and keep her mind active,is there any one on here that could advise me on what sort of things to look into I would really appreciate it

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Hello Dawn - nice to meet you.

It’s great to read your post and I’d like to say well done to you, your partner and your Mum for dealing with the condition you find yourselves in. From what you say and with the time that has elapsed since you first noticed the problem in 2024, a lot has happened and a lot has been achieved.

You and your Mum may not think it, but everything is going well because if it wasn’t you’d know about it. What you are describing is a normal recovery path for your Mum because that is how things work - we recover at our own rate and it depends on the help and advice we receive as well as our own attitude towards accepting what has happened and how we wish to move forward.

So, I say once again well done and be happy in the knowledge you have done really well. This is important because by taking a moment to reflect helps put things into perspective. It helps you accept what has happened and helps you plan for the future.

You say your Mum already attends a stroke club and your local football club Stoke City (I like Stoke City - they have us the great Jimmy Greenhoff!!) which is fantastic as she is already out and about, meeting people and I expect she is benefitting from this. Please do continue with this as it is hugely beneficial for both you and your Mum.

Wrt the specific activities to keep the mind active, I would say carry on the physical activities because they do actually help the mind as well. Then there may be local stroke support clubs or other social clubs that meet were you can play games and things to engage the mind. Have a look in the GP surgery - they often post information on activities that patients can join.

Other examples which we used include :

  • reading - if your Mum likes reading she can do this, if not maybe you can read to her
  • puzzles e.g. word puzzles, number puzzles, jig-saw puzzles etc.
  • games - card games and board games
  • other games that you might have enjoyed as a family.

As well as the above, it might be worth trying to get Mum to do meditation. This is amazing and does wonders for the mind.

Quote: Sting On Finding Meditation Through Music And Yoga

“Yoga introduced me to a style of meditation. The only meditation I would have done before would be in the writing of songs,” as per BrainyQuote.

There are plenty of other things that can be done, and my advice is to do whatever you want or whatever your Mum would like to do. It’s up to her - if she is willing to engage or has things she would like to do, we as carers can help facilitate that. From what you say, your Mum has the capacity to do this and so for me, ideally she has to take the lead. By so doing, she is already working her mind.

I hope this helps, but I am sure as others come on here, more suggestions will come your way.

In closing, I wish to reiterate that all you say is perfectly normal and from my point of view very healthy.

This is totally normal - if you think back to before this happened you may find she used to do this then as well. Emotions, frustrations, nastiness and forgetfulness are all normal and part of getting old or older or just part of being a human being. For me this is all wonderful stuff as it shows true desire and it’s your Mum’s way of dealing with life. Surely that has to be a good thing.

Wishing you all the very best.

Namaste|
:pray:

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Cerebellar stroke is a tricky one to rehabilitate and it depends a lot on what her main issues are. For me, after four cerebellar strokes, much of it comes down to saccade reflexes, visual tracking, visual-spatial cognitive issues, and feeling like a wobbly, bobbly apple inside a barrel. I have peripheral nystagmus, blurred and some double vision. Can you describe what the primary symptoms are? As for rehabilitation timeline, that is quite subjective.

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Hi @Stardust33 & welcome to the community. I would echo all that @ManjiB has said with regards to how you are coping. It’s not easy & you are doing well in difficult circumstances.

In addition to the activities @ManjiB describes the Stroke Association do some online activities which your mum may be interested in. You can find out more at this link.

https://www.stroke.org.uk/stroke/support/online-activities

I do jigsaw puzzles, word puzzles, reading as some of my rehab stuff. It has taken me a long time to get back to them properly but I still tried to do a little each day even if I coukd only manage 5 mins.

Best wishes

Ann

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And let’s not forget, this forum also has its own “Fun and Games” and Puzzles section.

Dawn - @Stardust33 I suggest it might be worth registering your Mum on this forum. She might be pleasantly surprised :slight_smile:

:pray:

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Hi

I would put my mum on here,but just recently she has locked her iPhone,I don’t know how,but non of us can get it working,so she’s had new phone and she’s not getting on with it very well,getting older and new technology don’t go together well :woman_facepalming:

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Thank u,for your kind words,some days I cope really well,and others I can sit and cry,up until we found out mum had had this stroke she was still working,which she loved,and probably would still be working now if not for this stroke,I know how frustrating it can be when you can’t do certain things,as I’ve got my own health issues but I always try and put my mum first

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That’s a very natural reaction. There will be good and bad days and it will be harder given you are dealing with your own health issues. All we can do is our best and it sounds like you are doing that in bucket loads. It’s a shame it has impacted your mums ability to work but never say never you just never know. I thought I was never going to return to work but after 18 months I did. Having said that I was in my 40s when I had my stroke and had a lot of working life in front of me.

Looking after yourself it’s important too so don’t be afraid to take some time out or ask someone else to sit with mum whilst you pop out or meet friends. People are often happy to help but they just don’t know how to offer.

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Walking is her main one,and cognitive issues,don’t get me wrong,she has come on with walking,but my mum is very stubborn for her own good at times,she doesn’t want to walk with a stick or walker, and if I mention a scooter,that’s it I’m done for lol :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth:

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Hi Dawn @Stardust33

Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear of your mums stroke. It’s great to hear she’s already attending a stroke club and the local football club. As @Mrs5K has said we do have Online Activities that your mum would be more than welcome to join. We try and make them as accessible as possible and we’re always on hand for a one to one chat with people to help with technology if that’s needed. We do different types of activities from quizzes and social sessions to more serious things where we discuss people’s journey with stroke.

With regards the emotional side of things with your mum being emotion and frustrated, this is common after a stroke and we do have some information on the emotional impact of stroke on our website which might be helpful for you to have a read of.

I hope you’ll find this community helpful, please remember to keep looking after yourself too - you matter too in this journey! If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.

Anna

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