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A couple pictures of Bear to get some idea just how big he is. I had already written out and then found there was a word count limit. SO A MUCH SMALLER ONE Here goes. I am 74 married to Sue for over 45 years our lives run around Bear our 7 year old St Bernard male dog long haired. a bundle of cuddles and is in to everything. We live in Kent not far from Maidstone. I am a retired criminal lawyer. Having gone to Sussex University in my late 40âs. Before that I was in the travel industry and aviation sector in helicopters. I was lucky enough to travel the world. We also have been on a number of cruises over the years so 2 min stroke came as shock, I was already disabled in a power wheelchair having my left leg amputated at age 10 and various other times until the hip was taken.
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Bear looks very content there @BobFage
Sounds like youâve had an interesting life. Who knows why a stroke hits at the time it does. Mine got me when i was at my busiest and was a proper shock to the system when i was forced to slow down. Iâm used to & happy with the slower pace of life now though.
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Thank you so much for this post. It has given me lots of food for thought. I too have had to slow down and have been fortunate enough to be able to take early retirement. My pension is miniscule but fortunately my husbands is better and living a simpler life includes being economical (or is that mean?) I last had a dog when I was 18. He lived until I was in my mid twenties but when I left home (which was also near Maidstone) my father claimed him and Iâve never had a dog since my husband definitely being a cat person. Since the stroke though I have been able to borrow my daughterâs dog. Walking him gives my exercise a purpose and we enjoy the lovely countryside together - and as heâs a miniature Dachsund he gets a lot more steps in with his little legs than I do
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Bore da @FionaB1, someone asked me a few months ago, why I walk around jollily singing. I replied that I sing because I am in pain. I donât know if they understood but, for me, I try and see the best in a bad situation, only because it provides well-needed relief. As a caveat, I am not an overtly positive person, indeed, I am constantly in negotiation with the positives and negatives of life. 
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Yes, we all deal with adversity in different ways. You sing, I joke. 3 weeks post stroke, whilst still in hospital, I had my first attack of angina. Crash team was in attendance within 2 minutes, about 10 of them. God knows where they came from. One minute I was squirming in a chair, the next on a bed with IV lines, connected to a heart monitor, and all bells and whistles going off. One of the doctors made a comment about my rather bright, striped socks to lighten the mood, and I grasped the humour with both hands. and the banter that ensued between all of the team was like something out of âMonty Pythonâ. My second attack kicked in while this was going on to the sound of âWoooeee⌠Here we go again. Hang on, and if I donât come out of this, he gets my socksâ
Even 2 hours later, when another hospital was in the process of placing stents into my heart, requests for an improvement of the contrast on the monitor for better viewing (they didnât realise I could see the monitor). Almost falling about with laughter when the ambulance taking me back to my original hospital got lost and I was directing them there.
Usually thereâs a funny side to most situations. Not disrespectful - no-no. Not in any way, but it helps ME get through stressful situations that I would otherwise despair and shrink into myself.
I canât comment on music yet. Too painful. Pre stroke I was a percussionist (not just a âdrummerâ) But thatâs completely out of the question. Iâll never be of the same standard, and I wonât accept second best, so Iâm learning to live with the fact that THAT side of my life which started well over 60 years ago, is over. I canât even listen to it.
Anyway nobody needs any more of my drivel.
Thank you for your time,
BobQ1.
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I am of the same ilk, I donât think I could tolerate life without my sense of humour. It has never left me, even in the most dire of moments, although I confess to having a more acerbic wit. I think this has evolved from having read many Russian authors as a child, and then moving onto The Goons, the combination is both absurd and fatalistic.
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Oh God, THE GOONS. Theyâve probably got the angels rolling in the aisles.
Just the thought of them puts a smile on my face a foot wide.
Thank you!
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@BobQ1 you definitely need to have a good sense of humour. It definitely helps get through the difficult times.
I bet your socks brightened up the hospital ward 
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Thankfully, not anymore.
Anyway, my socks can stand up for themselves. 
Starting to feel a little tired (as usual at this time) so iâll probably sleep now until around 10.30, then Iâll be back and forth between my desk and bed until about 6 am.
Night-night all - for now.
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What is about Russian authors that you find appealing? What is about their sense of humour? Just curious.
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Shwmae Mathew, as a youth, in my formative years of reading, I found that I was sympathetic to the satire. One of my favourite stories was a piece by Valentin Kataev called âStruggle Unto Deathâ about the endless circle of bureaucracy. A phrase by Dostoevsky, âThere is pleasure even in toothacheâ, was something that struck a chord with my immature sense of the human condition at the time. In my later teen years, I came across Vladimir Mayakovsky whose work I enjoyed. The heavier Russian writers like Tolstoy are not my cup of tea.
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I think I might be interested in reading Valentin Kataev. Sounds fascinating.
Russians are known for satire.
I studied Russian for a long time. I understand Russian grammar very well.
Thank you so much for sharing!
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I have now just gone past my two-year anniversary since my stroke so I thought I would document my progress it may provide some hope for members new to the forum.
As with many here, the stroked occurred out of the blue. Not the âFASTâ symptoms commonly mentioned but complete loss of control over my left hand side: Arm, hand, Leg and foot.
I was in hospital for 2 weeks learning how to use my limbs again and getting my BP down to an acceptable level (it was sky high and the main cause of the stroke).
My 2 main pursuits pre stroke were running (I ran every day for 30 mins or so with many 5K and 10K completions) and playing semi-professionally as a keyboard player in a band.
Both now seemed unattainable.
However, with support from the local rehab team plus my own practice sessions I invented (the team werenât musicians) I was able to get to the point where I could play with both hands again. I never was very good with my left hand anyway so I could never call myself a âproperâ piano player. Within 9 months I was playing with my band again. However, the fatigue (which we all get in different guises) got the better of me. Playing in a band is not just playing for one or two hours. Its loading all the equipment in the car, driving to the gig (often in the dark), setting up and then playing for 2-3 hours, then reversing the process. Often not getting into bed until after midnight. I found it took its toll and couldnât keep alert for a full gig and then drive back at night. So I cut back to just playing the first set. Then realised I was holding the band back, so I retired completely. Surprisingly after over 23 years with the same band, I donât miss it. I still act as manager and book gigs etc. However, 2 years earlier I came across a âdaytimeâ band (via the U3A organisation) of mixed wind and reed instruments who only play concerts at lunchtimes (still time for my afternoon recovery!) and threw all my focus on them.
Running wasnât so fortunate. After a few months of trying to improve my walking, from initially walking with a stick, having my wife holding on to me, I was finally able to go solo. However, I find I still âclipâ my left foot on the ground so I could typically fall over even at a slow jog! So to keep up the exercise (I started to put on weight unfortunately), I go for fast/speed walks and have gradually increased my speed over the months. I was always competitive at running, pre-stroke, so that mentality has been maintained and my âGarmin watchâ is still my best friend, measuring my speed and providing goals. I still gaze longingly at those hundreds setting off for their weekly park runs but reconcile myself with aiming for a faster or longer walk the next day. I took my youngest son to the local park run the other week (he started doing these when I started 10 years ago and now runs half marathons) and chatted to the marshals and found out I could still participate â if I can walk for 5k. Iâm up to 2.5k at the moment. Something to aim for then.
I started thinking about some âwords of wisdomâ I could pass onto fellow Forumites and came up with The 3 Rs
- Rest
- Refreshment
- Recreation
Rest.
Rest is most important, even if you canât have a full nap in bed or on the couch, but closing your eyes whilst watching TV for 15 minutes or half an hour, is still OK. I found out early on, it depended what I was doing or about to do, that governed how much rest I need. Social interaction took the most out of me â so if I was going out to a meal in the evening, I would have a full hour, or driving to a local concert. Listening to music didnât seem to drain me as much as social interaction but need to be alert to drive. Sometimes, these days my wife takes me and picks me up. I donât like asking her so minimise my concert going these days. No more driving down to London, to watch a band and standing for 3 hours.
Refreshment
Water (or cups of tea in my case) and regular snacks/meals are very important. You canât skip meals like you perhaps used to be able to. Being hungry or peckish certainly has an effect on my walking (drop in blood sugar perhaps?) â if I start getting âstumblyâ, a quick pick me up makes all the difference. On long drives or shopping expeditions, I always carry a small packet of (low sugar) biscuits â or better still, stop off at a coffee shop! I donât take caffeine these days, but the odd âproperâ tea or chocolate biscuit can give you a boost and stave off the fatigue. I retired from work 18 months ago as I couldnât keep up the hours, but now volunteer 2 mornings a week in a local charity shop that specialises in all things music â right up my street!
Recreation
What I mean by this is a mix of exercise and some form of engaging in a hobby or past-time. I mix my exercise (gym or walking) with listening to music or actually playing music. Something that âgets you out of your headâ. Mixing with other people can help as well. Social interaction with people with the similar interests, really helps. It certainly seems to pick me up. But remember that this may also âdrain your batteriesâ so be prepared for more downtime if needed (I find). Although I go to the gym to strengthen myself twice a week, just walking is fine, if you donât fancy the gym. Having said that, in my local gym there are often a few âmore matureâ men and ladies attending, doing what they can without fear of ridicule.
Psychological Issues
Not sure if these notes ring true with others on the forum, but I have been suffering with the âloss of meâ. I am clearly not the person I was pre-stroke. Especially with regards the physical activity â even walking upstairs is slow (or worse, down stairs) it is obvious I am not the same person. Climbing ladders is a no go at present. I was a very fit 67 year old pre-stroke so to suddenly change overnight hit me hard. Walking through busy shopping centres takes it out of me â constantly changing directions trying not to bump into people. Before my stroke, I literally took that in my stride, now it makes me anxious.
But I have been lucky in that the local hospital has an outpatient neuro psychological unit. So in these sessions, we explored the âbefore and afterâ picture of me. So with the help of the neuro unit, I started writing a check list, balance sheet sort of thing, to document the positive things, since my stroke. These include the afore mentioned increase in musical appreciation (mentioned in another post), being more happy-go-lucky (less intense), more open emotionally (although I cry easy now!), being able to retire earlier than intended (but still after pension age) and finding another pursuit which I love (volunteer in a local record shop). As I have mentioned before in this forum, peculiarly my interest in Horse Racing just disappeared after my stroke. Also my appetite came back! I like anything now; even sausages and mash. Also, I used to be a babbling mess going on a plane and all the things you do beforehand (security etc). Our last mini holiday to Austria in July, I sailed through. No anxiety and even enjoyed the experience. Weird!
Anyway, I hope something here has struck a chord with some of you and hopefully given some element of hope to those new to the Forum.
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@Retrokeyplayer thatâs quite an inspiring post which will give many people hope. Even when you werenât able to sustain a previous love you managed to find an alternative to fill the gap instead. Hats off to you.
I was a runner pre-stroke but post stroke itâs off the table for now. I can only just move around walking & iâm not far off 2 years too. Iâve not given up hope though & you may yet see me out there on a park run
I understand what you mean about the loss of me. Strangely i struggle with that more now than I ever did. I always try & look at the hood things that came out of my stroke - slower pace of life, new hobbies, amazing support from family & friends, a generally less stressful life.
Wishing you all the very best as you continue your recovery journey.
Best wishes
Ann
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Thanks, Ann. I hope you can make that park run someday!
Best wishes
Duncan
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Amazing post!
But you have made real improvements. That is truly wonderful.
So you canât run, but you can walk fast. Who needs to run anyways in their late 60s? LOL. And, not only that, you surely donât want to fall, friend, creating more problems for youself.
On a sadder note, my mother was never the same person after her stroke. She recovered so well physically after her stroke - it was truly amazing. She walked better than most people her age at 71. Her balance, speech, reflexes, etc. â all great. But her emotional mind was gone. She went insane, more or less, over time, even though she was cognitively very sharp at times. We were told it wasnât all due to brain damage, but also to how she couldnât handle the trauma of her stroke, as well as her anxious personality prior to her stroke.
Overall, I think you are doing very well for all that youâve been through. No, youâll never be exactly as you were pre-stroke, but life is change. None of us will ever be the same as we age anyways. We all go through changes in life, with or without strokes.
Youâre doing really well, despite some issues here and there.
I hope you continue to make improvements, and may you be happy.
Take good care.
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Thanks for those kind words. Matthew. Sorry to hear about your mother.
Keep well.
Duncan
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Hello, Rups,
I am very new, having had a TIA less than a week ago. We had had a busy weekend and a horrible drive back to N. Yorks through road works, crashes, bad accidents - a journey which took 6.5 hours captive in the car - stressful and tiring.
We had a social meeting in the village - I told my husband to go and leave me to rest.
After the meeting he came home and turned on the TV. I was not interested and fell asleep. After the programme ended he tried to wake me up but I was disphagicâŚhe decided I was suffering a TIA, having witnessed several relatives in similar circumsta nces. He phoned 111 and the triage operator spoke to him, then to me, then she phoned for an ambulance. The paramedic did many tests in situ, then radioed my !ocal hospital trust, York, and said he was bringing me in.
I was feviewed
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@T0ngah0rse Hi & welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear youâve had a TIA & i hope youâre making steady progress. Itâs a big shock when these things happen & it takes dome getting used to.
If i had one piece of advice it would be to listen to your body & rest when you need to so your brain can work its magic & repair.
Best wishes
Ann
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