I don’t want to be intrusive or make anyone feel embarrassed, but may i ask how you get dressed and ready for the day? I am almost two years on now, but i am still finding it tiring to get ready for the day. I have a grab rail and a seat in the shower which is a godsend. But when I need to towel myself down I get all tangled up. Hubby will help, but to be honest I do want to do it myself. Bras are my bugbear, in the heat the darned things won’t co-operate at all. No tights in summer, but in winter; oh the effort. Flowing dresses and skirts are lovely but come winter with underskirts, I often default to trousers. I know there are lots of dressing aids available, but how do I find the right ones without spending a lot of money?
I recall in hospital I only had one ‘dressing’ assessment. A first year student nurse was sent into the bathroom to ‘assist’ me. She stood and watched offering no advice. My discharge letter said I was ‘able to complete personal hygiene’. Even now I sometime have problems using the toilet, which adds another dimension. I don’t know whether to contact the rehab team and ask for advice, it’s not exactly in the rehab remit, or is it?
Sorry if this offends anyone, but to continue our personal rehab is important to our well being as well as providing all the mechanical aids. Best wishes Norma
I wonder if it is worth getting an Occupational therapist referral so they can do an assessment for stuff you may need that can help you with washing & dressing.
You’re right that the effort involved is exhausting. I found getting a bra that does up at the front helps. As does wearing a supported crop top rather than a bra too. I have to admit I live in trousers / jogging bottoms as they are just easier. And don’t even mention washing my hair. I have a lovely friend who helpa me there from time to time.
I just allow lots of extra time to get sorted now. Long gone are the days when I can be up, washed, dressed, breakfasted & out the door in 40 mins. Thankfully I work from home now so I just shuffle into my home office when I have done everything I need to.
Don’t apologise for asking anything here. if we can help we will.
I bath and dry myself by spreading a large towel on my sofa which I sit on. i then wrap more towels around my self.
Bras I make sure are stretchy. I do them up first and then put it on as if it was a t-shirt.
The red cross have independent Living Centres around the country if you can get to one.
If you struggle with buttons you can get a button hook.
Thanks Janetb and Mrs5K for suggestions. I think I am going to rethink my dressing routine in future. As for the button hook, one arrived this morning.
I ordered it at the weekend; I find now that I can’t do up tiny buttons now, and sometimes I can’t do zips either. This one has a ‘hook’ both ends so I may be able to use it in other ways too. Ever resourceful us survivors eh?
Well it doesn’t offend me. I have many/all of the same issues. I can’shower myself and have to have a carer.So really you are doing well. Dressing is exhausting. I am 3 years post strokes and live alone. So the bra problem, I long ago gave up with hooks and eyes, not strong enough, so I have pull ons. I do say to my neares and dearest that my shape is that of two small boys fighting in a pillowcase! I did have beautiful underwear as a daughter worked for a very prestigious underwear designers who had sales for staff a couple of times a year. We had sets that retailed for £80 and up for about £10 but all that had to go.
On the socks/tights skirts issue- I have an orthotic on one leg so can only wear trainers and consequently sock’s. Not ideal for many reasons in hot weather but again that’s how it is.
I wear a lot of leggings, not glamorous but functional. I have veer little sr
Trenght o my left side so struggle to pull things up. I hope that helps a bit, I can’t remember what else you wrote so can’t write any further. Other than to say it is unlikely that you and I are the only two with these difficulties.
Yes…I don’t feel embarrassed by any questions 
I’m sorry that you are finding it exhausting and difficult.
I am showering myself and washing my hair. It’s shaving I still struggle with…legs, bikini line, and underarms!!! Haha
I also dress myself (although to be fair I am mostly wearing long flowing summer dresses but reading the comments here I hadn’t thought about winter eeekkk)
After my shower, i dry myself, and grab everything (underwear, bras etc) and put it on the bed. I then sit on the bed.
I usually put my stroke leg in first, by putting it on my non-stroke knee for better reach. I don’t stand up until I’ve got everything I am wearing on to the knees…then I stand up to pull them up.
As for the top half…I sit back down…I still use the bra types that have the back hook and eyes, and I do them up at the front, and swing it around - pulling the straps up. I did that PS (pre-stroke) as well!! I might have to invest in the ones that fasten at the front… 
I don’t often wear makeup or anything (Like i used to) but when I do, it’s only light. And I currently have short hair courtesy of my recent stroke and emergency surgery when they shaved my head! So no need to dry it and I just put some product/hair wax in and I’m right to go
No offence taken if you don’t mind a man replying that is? 
I am past the 3 years marker and still learning about my body, especially in the morning, but I am, like you, exhausted by all the faff.
So, after copious amount of coffee, I land in the shower myself, no guard rail now but the thin entrance to it is a bit tricky. With one hand, I wash most of it, but the neglected working arm needs some attention from my wife, once a week. Towels are a given, and I have a face cloth for my feet otherwise it started to grow aqua-wings in between those toes.
Getting dressed is rather annoying but nonetheless, it’s progress like keep standing to ‘stand in’ my pants and pull them up but sit down to navigate the socks-conundrum. Otherwise, it’s a faff but I’ve got it down to 35 minutes, bar the jacket/coat/winter coat, add 10 minutes just to do that.
Toilets are a faff, given one hand and that tricky loo paper but I’m working on it as long as the wife or I mount the paper top-down I can do it. In reverse, what a mess!
Washing hand is a pleasant surprise because my wife bought me a “scrubber” with some suction pads. In fact, one in every bathroom and WC no less.
In the week, I’d had a nap about 2pm, but the weekend I have a little nap before that malarkey begins.
So, overall it’s been a hellish journey to this point, with hindsight when I had guardrails by the toilet, the shower, and the bed, I had a plethora of things, adaption aids……it’s a quite nice for me to look back and marvel at my success.
Hope that helps.
M
I should add that with zips - I did have a dress with a zip up the back. I passed some string through the hole in the string, then passed the string over my shoulder I found that if I held the base of the zip with my good hand I could bite on the string and pull on the zip.
Love the ‘two small boys fighting in a pillowcase’ .I find that pulling things up is a nuisance too. I think this winter will be more trousers and ditch the bra! Wasn’t there a campaign years ago to burn the bra? I might just join now. Best wishes Norma
Thanks Kylie, I very much follow a similar routine to yours. Yes the grooming bit is a of a ffaff. I have an electric razor, my problem is that I can’t bend to shave the lower legs. As for the bikini area, it’s hit and miss.
Make up too is only for really posh do’s as I shake so much. Hair is no problem as I have short hair and well shaped by my lovely hairdresser.
We get on with it don 't we? Best wishes Norma
Nice to hear the fella’s perspective Matt. I think your 35 minutes is about the average for me too. It all seemed so easy in hospital. I thought that I would have every aid known to man to ease the way, but reality hit hard. Yes all the equipment I was given was so helpful and aided the progress I’ve made. It’s this next phase that needs exploring. This site is brilliant as people do share what helps and what didn’t.
You and I share the feeling of reviewing our progress and realised how far we have come. I’m ever grateful for all the support that I have had.
Best wishes Norma
Brilliant Janet. thanks for the tip. N
I was in hospital for about 8 weeks, and that experience, not the care team I might add, was not great - I was going to be bathroom on my own (because it matters to me) yet I fell down every single time, though the last week I made it the bathroom, locked the door and started to shift my bum on the toilet but then, again, I fell down hard.
Oh, those times! 
A strange occurence this morning. I realised i can get my affected hand to my feet to maybe assist with donning of my socks but my brain has forgotten how to use 2 hands to put socks on, would this be an example of learned non use as i am ok using one hand to put them on? I guess it was so instinctive before stroke i never even thought about it, ive had the same experience using a large sweeping brush,ive forgotten where my hands should go on the handle! I m not looking forinstructions,i can work it out eventually, i just wondered if anyone else forgets how to actually do things when our body may be willing?
Ah, interesting. My right hand/arm is dead, until I went to sleep that is, so the knack of getting my socks on using one hand is a learning experience. My learning was to put my hand in the sock, and widen it, like all the fingers touching each other and then spread the fingers just enough to put your toes in it. The rest is easy.
M
Yes, us fellas, get dressed too. When we can remember.
Thanks @MattJC for speaking up. Same with showering.
Those bits that are just out of reach, need a mention, need attention.
This forum is a public space but male or female we need to speak up. Being yourself isn’t offensive. We need to share to make life more bearable. We need to smile or laugh or giggle or we will burst.
This could be learned non use but you can unlearn it again. Keep trying to get the arm involved. I sometimes thinkmy brain has forgotten how to do something and then I have to think long & hard about how I do need to do it. I guess it is just practice, practice & more practice as with all things stroke.
The othee thing I use is a long handled sponge to help me reach all the parts I can’t reach any more or can’t bend down to do due to dizziness..
Oh khyber I had to smile at your post. I’m always forgetting how or what I should be doing. I live in the hereafter- what the hell am I in here after?
I find something that I have put down (to put away in a minute) then I get annoyed. ‘Who left that there?’
There’s only two of us in this house. If it weren’t you, then I suppose it’s me.
But it’s a laugh sometimes.
No, the washing up liquid doesn’t live in the fridge.
The other day I was doing a cross word. The clue was to name the thingey that pokes up from a submarine to look around. I couldn’t think of the darned name. So I asked hubby ‘What’s another name for a periscope?’ Cue hysterical laughter. (His not mine)
You are not alone!!! Best wishes Norma
I contemplated doing a separate post for this, but there’s so many good ideas on here already that I think I’ll just tag onto the end here 
Terry towelling dressing gowns/bath robes are a god send! No need to tangled up in towels, just put it on after you shower/bathe, then you can use a hand towels or flannel to dry hair, feet, privates. Then go have lie down for a few minutes while you dry off in it or just carry on with any other ablutions 
It’s also warmer, particularly in winter; you’re not freezing your butt whilst your struggling with towels. I’ve been doing this for donkey’s years, long before my stroke and was it particular useful when I had my hip replaced.
YouTube should be a stroke survivors best friend for “How to’s…”. There are so many videos on there for doing just about everything and anything. There are paraplegics, amputees, hemiplegics, stroke survivors, etc. on there demonstrating how to wash, dress, transfer from wheel chair, cooking one handed, etc, etc.
These are just a few examples of what put in the search bar on YouTube
How does a paraplegic get dressed,
How does an amputee wash their hair,
How a stroke survivor gets dress,
How to zip up a coat after a stroke.
Many of the videos are demonstrations by physio/occupational therapist, some are good, some not so. But there are just as many real life demo’s, I much prefer the truth of reality.
Lorraine
This lady actually shows the method @MattJC described above for how to put socks on.
Here’s a link to how a lady with an arm amputation gets dressed.
(And the reason for not for not showing the image is in respect to those who may feel a little squeamish about seeing them.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U04YwQcPSgY
And one for the men
