Looking for advice on how to support my Mother in law ,her husband my Father in law is currently in hospital after his stroke,at first he was making good progress but he had frequent episodes of crying and begging to come home,he also says he has been to other places and appears confused some days are better than others however the worst episodes are when he accuses her of leaving him for other men shouting he wants a divorce .They have been happily married for 65 years ! She visits every day ,his behaviour is vicious and upsets her and is also upsetting to witness.it seems no amount of reassurance helps he tries to get out of bed and has fallen the nursing staff are aware but just say he doesn’t mean what he says . He is due to come home next week . Should she ask for psychiatric evaluation and support
This is quite a typical stroke reaction and yes he does need some professional support , as does his poor wife. I don’t know what might be available, so it would be helpful to you all if you were to investigate. All the best - it is just as hard for him as for all of you. Good luck!
I imagine acquired Othello Syndrome would be quite distressful for all concerned if left untreated. I think any psychological support would be advantageous for both of them to guide them through, especially when he gets home. If it is possible, definitely worth chasing up.
Plan for today is ask loads of questions at the hospital I was worried that I would look like I was interfering as I’m an in law I’ll also chat to Mum and ask how she feels
Hello @Erica - Nice to meet you albeit under difficult circumstances.
This is absolutely what you must do.
The information you have been given both by the hospital staff and the members of this forum is pretty much as it is. Your in-laws are both in a difficult place as are you and you all will need help which is available as long as you ask for it and if needed push for it.
Make sure you have a full understanding of your father-in-laws care needs when he is discharged and how this will be facilitated.
You are a carer for your in-laws so you are definitely not interfering and you have every right to ask al the questions you need answered. I would say that if you feel uncomfortable (or anyone who will be caring for your father-in-law feels uncomfortable) do not agree to the discharge. They cannot discharge the patient until it has been agreed.
What you are witnessing is not that unusual and hopefully it will become easier with acceptance and better understanding.
I wish you all the best.
Namaste|
@Erica hi & welcome to the community. I echo what others have already said but your post reminded me that thishad been discussed on here previously. I have linked that post in below in case there are any useful snippets of info in there for you.
Do ask plenty of questions of the medical team & as @ManjiB says don’t agree to a discharge if you feel it would be unsafe.
Hi @Erica,
Welcome to the community. I’m so sorry to hear about your father-in-law, and what a difficult situation for your whole family, particularly your mother-in-law. It’s completely understandable to be looking for some support at what must be a really overwhelming time.
A stroke can cause changes in behaviour, either because of the damage to the brain or because of the emotional impact it can have. You might find these helpful:
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Our page on Emotional changes after stroke covers the different ways a stroke can affect your mood and emotions, and what support is available.
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Our guide on Behaviour changes after stroke covers why these changes happen, what they might look like, and how to cope with them, including tips for family and friends.
Our Helpline is also there if you or anyone in your family needs to talk things through.