One Year On

Hi All, So I’ve realised it’s been just over a year since I used this forum (to my shame)
It has been (2023) the most stressful year I’ve had in a very long time.
My Stepmum was in hospital just over 3 months after her Stroke, and came back to her home mid March.
Since then she has 4x carers a day, plus my care as and when I can. She is practically housebound and immobile, on Level 4 diet (for life) and is by and large incoherent despite many months of speech therapy.
She is a different person cognitively and emotionally and I can see a steady slow decline in her mental capacity. For a good while it seemed as though she was improving slightly but now I really can’t see the situation getting better.
Just recently she has been so unsteady on her feet, despite walking aids and help. She lives in a two bedroomed house and OT and Drs are suggesting that either we get the house adapted or that she goes into sheltered accomodation or a home.
She lives 10 miles away from me, which might not seem much to a car driver, but I dont drive. The last time she had a fall and the ambulance was called it took me an hour to get to her.
I have talked to her about moving near to me into a little ground floor flat and she said yes. I want to do this whilst her mental capacity is at a fairly decent level and she is aware of everything.
I have POA for Health and Welfare and Finance, so I am able to legally start the process of selling her house but I’m really struggling to know where to begin.
Is anyone or has anyone had a similar situation to me?
I am finding this journey of being her both her daughter and carer very physically and emotionally draining not to mention lonely.
Thanks for reading :slightly_smiling_face:


Hi @WilburDonut

I would say there’s a very clear case for you to talking to citizens advice

They will not only know the legal financial angle but also what you can get in terms of assistance and which agencies and how to apply and they are very good at filling the forms in with the right magic words.

Best wishes


@WilburDonut sorry to hear of your mums situation it must be so difficult for you. It is so hard being a daughter & a carer. I had similar with my dad & always found that line difficult because there’s things you do as a carer that you never want to do / see as a daughter.

I would echo Simon’s advice re talking to Citizen’s Advice. Age UK or your local adult social services may also be somewhere to try.

Hope you manage to get things sorted.